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As a lifelong member there are many things I love about the church. I find value in raising my family in a culture of service and love and my goal is to find a way to continue in spite of a major shift in my core beliefs. Over the past 8 months I’ve been led to information that has caused my shelf to collapse. It started with learning about the 2nd Annointing and then continued with recognizing patterns in JS behavior that cause me to question the veracity of his truth claims and strength of character. I’d love nothing more than to fully believe the truth claims of the church but I don’t expect I can go back to the same belief I once had. At this point it would feel as unnatural as choosing to believe the earth is flat. I struggle to see the nuance in the very black and white paradigm the church has established for itself.
In any case, despite my lack of belief I choose to live a faithful life of active church participation but I’m searching for a way to do it without hypocrisy.
Welcome! I have little time right now, but I sent you a Private Message about your other new post that hasn’t been approved yet. No big deal, at all, but just a suggestion for you.
I was going to wait until your other post is up, but decided not to. Welcome.
I really like what Pres. Uchtdorf said about hypocrisy:
Quote:If you define hypocrite as someone who fails to live up perfectly to what he or she believes, then we are all hypocrites. None of us is quite as Christlike as we know we should be. But we earnestly desire to overcome our faults and the tendency to sin. With our heart and soul we yearn to become better with the help of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
If these are your desires, then regardless of your circumstances, your personal history, or the strength of your testimony, there is room for you in this Church. Come, join with us!
To some extent all of us are hypocrites, and you might be surprised that not everyone believes quite it might appear at first glance.
Welcome Steve-o! You are in a similar spot to many of us here. I think focusing on the things you do believe is very helpful.
No easy answers on how to navigate, but I’m a big fan of the quote DJ posted.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences.
Steve-o wrote:I’d love nothing more than to fully believe the truth claims of the church but I don’t expect I can go back to the same belief I once had. At this point it would feel as unnatural as choosing to believe the earth is flat.
Yes. I have come to a similar conclusion. Welcome, Steve-o! This is a good place. There are several long-time contributors here who have successfully found a way to remain in the church after a faith crisis. Their advice has been critical for me during the last few months. I look forward to hearing more from you!
Steve-o wrote:I don’t think the other post is going to be published but thanks for the welcome.
The mods aren’t really bad guys here. Please don’t be afraid to repost following their suggestions. I really would like to hear more of your story.
Now that this post has been approved, you can post anything you’d like. Feel free to modify the other post and repost it or just ignore my suggestion and repost it as originally written. As I said in my first comment, it was no big deal – just a suggestion. Quote:The mods aren’t really bad guys here.
Thanks JD. I didn’t think they were. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to go through the effort of rewriting the post. The suggestions were good, but I wasn’t feeling that motivated. I may go ahead and post it again.
Steve-o wrote:
In any case, despite my lack of belief I choose to live a faithful life of active church participation but I’m searching for a way to do it without hypocrisy.I have a few suggestions:
1. Don’t be afraid to buck at many of the cultural values that will place you in a position where its hard to be authentic. This means saying “no” to certain callings. Not openly bucking, but asserting yourself when necessary when asked to do things that don’t work for you.
2. Focus on those things you have in common with the church. You listed some in your OP, I’m sure the list is not exhaustive.
3. Teach what you agree with and ignore the rest.
4. Make non-doctrinal contributions out of service — operational stuff — so you can belong and contribute to the Ward.
5. Learn to rock the boat without sinking the ship — Ray is very good at wording things in a way that gets the point across without appearing apostate. Also, there are topics you can actually be “contrarion” about that others will often support you in — such as the role of personal revelation in adapting the advice you hear at church, avoiding judgmentalism, welcoming people no matter how different they are, etcetera.
Welcome Steve-o, I have thought about it as being in a community that describes grass as blue. The word “blue” to me means something different but I can’t really say that they are wrong in naming the color of grass as blue. Shakespeare once wrote “What is in a name”? Is the essence of the grass captured in words like “green” or “blue”?
That is ok as far as it goes but it gets really annoying when people in the “bluegrass” camp start insisting that to describe grass as blue is the only true way to see it and that those that see it otherwise are inherently flawed.
Personally, I think that the point of church is to be in a community of people trying to live like Christ. It’s when we stop believing it’s just a group of flawed people with good intentions that we land in trouble. Ultimately, with or without the church, living the teachings of Christ is the best course (even if you call them the teachings of Buddha). Those are some good guidelines for life. People in the community who want to shorthand being a good Mormon = being a good person aren’t worth getting worked up over.
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