- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
I’m sure many have heard this before, but I found it worth sharing… A bus loaded with tourists suffered a tragic accident and all on the bus were instantly killed.
They all go up to heaven as a group and St. Peter greets them at the gate.
“Welcome to heaven all of you. Let me show you around.”
St. Peter takes the group around heaven and they first pass a beautiful synagogue full of people dancing and singing in Hebrew.
One tourist asks what that is all about…St.Peter says, “Oh those are our Jewish residents.”
The group then passes another building with lots of Gregorian chants and latin speaking, and so St.Peter tells the group, “Here you find a Catholic group of citizens of heaven.”
They go on passing numerous different buildings with different groups of people, all happy and doing their thing.
Then, St.Peter stops the group…gathers them close by, and says, “Shhhh….Please, please, please…we must now be silent and tiptoe until I instruct you further.”
So the group quietly proceeds, as they pass a nice church building with singing and sounds of sermons and happy people doing their thing.
When they pass, St. Peter says, “OK, we can move ahead now, no silence is needed any longer.”
One tourist stops St. Peter, “Wait, wait. What was that all about?”
St. Peter responds, “Oh that. Well, that last church was the mormon church…we always pass by there quietly… they think they are the only ones up here.”
I heard it as separate cities – and it included cities for both the Mormons and the Baptists. I heard it from a Baptist friend. Let’s go ahead and make this a thread to share multiple jokes that relate to religion, in general, and Mormonism, in particular. Here’s one I heard on the radio today:
Quote:If heat rises, won’t Heaven be WAY hotter than Hell?
Funny Heber, Makes me think of a joke my Danish friend gave at a Zone conference in Copenhagen. It goes: A missionary who had gone to South America died and went to the pearly gates and St. Peter asked him where he had served his mission and how many baptism he had. He said Brazil and I had over 300 baptism. St. Peter says, well then you go down to the bad place. The missionary was shocked. Just then another missionary came up and was asked the same questions. He said he had served in Denmark and had only 1 baptism. St. Peter said, “Well done, you go straight to heaven. Come right in and the elder walked in.” The missionary from Brazil was very upset and said, “How can this be when I had so many baptisms and he only had one.” St. Peter said, “He’s already been to hell. Now its your turn.” Having served in Austria and our mission goal was one baptism a year, I loved this.
An oldie: A cardinal told the Pope that he had good news and bad news.
“So, what’s the good news?” asked the Pope.
“We just received a call from Jesus. He’s here on the Earth. The second coming has arrived”.
“That’s wonderful”, said the Pope….”What’s the bad news?”
“He was calling from Salt Lake”.
Did you hear the one about the cannibals who ate some missionaries? The next day, they had an ecumenical movement.
Not really a joke, but I always think it’s really funny when I hear these kinds of words within a closing prayer after an activity: “…and please bless the refreshments that they might nourish and strengthen our bodies,” right before we consume the sugar-filled, fat-laden, calorie-conjested double chocolate frosted brownies. A whole lot of nourishment going on, I tell ya.
Another one I heard recently again and hadn’t in a long time: The only difference between a Mormon and a Jack Mormon is the temperature of their caffeine.
These are good ones…keep ’em coming. Its always good to keep a sense of humor, I think. So, another good classic one:
Wendy Ulrich wrote:In the Catholic church everyone says the pope is infallible but nobody believes it; and in the Mormon church everybody says the prophet is fallible but nobody believes it.
This isn’t a joke, but I LOVE this site – and the idea of LOL cats conducting General Conference is hilarious to me: (“LOL Cats General Conference”)
http://www.myregisblog.com/2011/03/lol-cats-general-conference.html After traditional ancient Mesoamerican battles, why did so many of the surviving Lamanite warriors suffer bloodied shins? Because of all the Knee-fights!!!
:lolno: Sunday school teacher asks a child in the class to explain the parable of the prodigal son. Child explains how the son took his inheritance and then spent it all. Then he came back home to his father, who then hurt himself.
Teacher asks “The father hurt himself? That’s not in the parable!”.
Child replies “Yes it is, the bible says that when the son came home, the father ran out to meet him and then FELL ON HIS NECK”.
I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Website “Overheard in the Ward”, but I actually got a funny true story published there. http://overheardintheward.com/2011/02/who-teaches-the-gospel/ Anyway, here it is.
Stake President teaching priesthood: What does the word “Gospel” mean?
High Priest #1: Good news.
Stake President: Where did you learn that?
High Priest #2: The Jehovah’s Witnesses
Overheard by: Mormon Heretic
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.