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My father has reached the point in his life where he is ready to die. He has taken care of my mom, under difficult circumstances for decades, and he knows she will be okay now – that my brother and his wife will take over her care. He is extremely tired, having lived, in practical terms, many years beyond his age. (If you want to read a tribute I wrote about him six years ago, the link is: http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-niece-died-this-morning.html My father is one of the most Christ-like people I know in following the injunction:
Quote:“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for a friend.”
As I wrote in the post linked above, he literally laid down his own life to support my mother in her need – taking up a life he never imagined or desired when they were married. I will honor him forever for that simple, loving action – even if it were the only reason to honor him, which it isn’t.
He is at peace with the decision, and my family is honoring his wishes. He says he wants to see my older sister, his parents and others who have passed on before him.
I am flying to Oklahoma tomorrow to be with him, my mom and my brother and sister who live near them. I will try to check in at night while I am gone, but I won’t be able to comment much this week.
I just want everyone to know what’s going on, so nobody wonders where I am for the next few days.
Same here — you gave a touching post on how he dedicated himself to your mother all those years and it was touching. We’ll look forward to your presence again when you’re ready Ray….go forth… Ray, I remember JS saying that he felt so constrained by language for communication. I now feel the same. Please accept these words that appear on your computer screen as so much more than they are. I would rather give you a hug, but these words will have to suffice. I don’t know your father – but I honor him because I have seen how you honor him.
God speed my friend.
Take care Ray. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for all your service. It’s appreciated. Enjoy the experience. Tears, heart ache, good-bye and all. Take your time returning here. We promise to solve our own stuff until you return. My thoughts and prayers go to you and your family. So sorry. I read the post and am awed by what he did for your mother. I hope all goes well in your family this week. God bless you and your family. In my experience, with both of my parents dying, I felt the mormon way of doing funerals etc. were the absolutely best, most spiritual, and positive experience one could imagine (with the possible exception of an Irish wake!). Our prayers are with you and your family. Ray, I am sorry for your loss. This is a difficult time for anyone.
Please allow your dad to make his own decision on eating and drinking. When the body is letting go it “knows” what it needs. If the body does not need the nutrition, it can cause swelling in tissues and discomfort to the person. As a hospice nurse, I have watched families plead and beg their loved one to continue to eat. They do this out of love, not knowing that this could actually cause more discomfort. Don’t withhold anything, just offer and let it end at that. If he wants cake instead of his meds…..then let him have it….he has earned the right to do that
:thumbup: My advice to the families I have been with at this time is always this: sit with your dad and tell him stories of your childhood. Only the good stories. Tell him what you learned from him and how you have passed that on to your children and your grandchildren. I can’t imagine a better way to go than to hear the sweet sound of your children retelling precious memories.
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