[alltruth]

You should speak to your ward membership clerk and have your address and phone number removed from MLS (the church software system). Then when they pull the information for the ward list, yours won’t appear. Be prepared for some pushback, as they want to know where you live and how to get in touch with you. Maybe you can give the bishop that information to appease them a bit.

Good luck!

[alltruth]

I’ve recently developed issues with tithing, for many of the same reasons you point out in your post, kristmace. I’m at a point where I’d like to take all my tithing and put it into fast offerings… at least it would stay in the ward (if I understand it correctly) and could be used to bless the lives of those around me. This is how I thought tithing was being used until recently (silly me). There’s no way this is going to happen though… my wife would definitely not be on board with that… :shifty:

[alltruth]

Thanks for all your replies. I didn’t end up going the other night, but I thought about what each of you said, and talked more with my wife about it. Although she doesn’t understand my feelings, and I don’t really understand hers, we agreed to disagree on this one. We didn’t really come to any resolution, but I told her I’m willing to go as a way of showing my love for her. She wasn’t completely appeased by this, but said she’s appreciative of the gesture.

Not really sure how it’s all going to play out, but you’ve given me some coping tips to work with as I muddle through. Thanks.

[alltruth]

Thanks for the warm welcome…

Quote:

…article from a GA that said that in his experience the two groups who struggled the most with feeling the Spirit were abuse victims and individuals with mental illness

Quote:

I would love to find out more. I don’t suppose you have a reference to this anywhere?

I went to Google, hoping I could find it quickly and easily, but couldn’t. I’ll need to go through my papers to see if I can find it, but it was 10+ years ago that my counselor gave it to me, so I’m afraid it may have gone the way of the Joseph Smith Papyrus. 😆

Quote:

I have known many people who are bipolar and my heart goes out to you

Thanks. It’s caused some major, embarassing situations, and certainly complicates things at times, but I figure I’m not much different than others in that regard. And since I’ve been consistent with my meds, things have smoothed out nicely. I still have ups and downs, but no more thinking I’m the prophet or a son of perdition. :clap:

eman wrote:

Finally! We can say that stayLds is the most correct of all forums! Indeed we have alltruth! :

“It is a record of the wanderings of the not quite faithful, and their dealings with God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ…. And now, if there are faults they are the mistakes of men…”

[alltruth]

Quote:

the HT/VT program is, to me, what the Church should be all about

this is so true, and a beautiful thought. When HTing is done with the proper spirit, it really does change lives. Unfortunately, as many here have noted, the number of people who do it in the proper spirit isn’t high.

Quote:

My old Sp said we had to HT with white shirts and ties

LOL. I’m sure he had doctrinal support for that statement, right? 🙄

As an EQ President, I felt a lot of pressure to get the numbers up when I first got called. That lasted about 3 months. One day our instructor didn’t show up so I told the quorum that we were going to have the dreaded “home teaching” discussion. I told them exactly where we were at, and asked them to talk to me about why we were doing so “poorly” (if you look at the numbers). As we talked, it became clear to me that none of the Elders felt that they were making a difference in the lives of the people they were being asked to teach. They couldn’t get in the door of the less active members they were assigned, and the TBM’s they were teaching never let them help out with anything. It was always, “Can we do anything for you?” and “No, everything is fine.” With this being the case, why in the world would somebody want to home teach?

Once I learned this, my stress melted away. I told the Stake Presidency that my focus wasn’t going to be on numbers, but that I would be trying to find ways to help my brethren make a difference in the lives of those they were assigned to – and no matter how they did that, I was going to count it as HTing. So no lesson? No problem. Can’t get in the door but leave a friendly message on the porch? Great! Remember a kid’s birthday and make the effort to reach out. Fantastic. So in at least one ward, it’s no longer about the numbers…

[alltruth]

Curt,

I’m interested to know how things are going with the new youth curriculum. One of the things I’m hearing in our ward is that the youth are having a hard time learning how to lead a discussion and participate as much as the leaders would like them to. Based on the wide variety of thought-provoking topics you’re introducing, I wonder if you’re having more success. As I listen to our youth leaders, I wonder if the youth are having a hard time because they already know the “Primary answers” and don’t really want to rehash those, and they’re afraid to talk about their real questions and concerns…

[alltruth]

This lies firmly in the realm of rumor, so what I’m looking for is somebody else who has heard this, or knows of a source.

I heard that one of the major reasons that the church opposes gay marriage is that it will create major legal problems for the church if we refuse to perform marriages for same sex couples in the temple.

Anyone else know anything about this?

[alltruth]

It might not be a bad thing that you weren’t too confrontational, especially with a YM. I’ve found that this age group really don’t want to look wrong in front of their peers. Perhaps you can find a talk or another resource and privately share it with the youth who didn’t know the doctrine. That way he gets the truth but saves face at the same time…

[alltruth]

kristmace,

Welcome to the forum! I’m brand new here as well (my introduction hasn’t even been posted yet), but it sounds like we have much in common, so I wanted to say hi.

I can empathize with much of what you say. I find it interesting that what has triggered you crisis is being in a leadership position… when you see my introduction, you’ll see that my latest go-round has been caused by the same thing. I’d be interested in starting a new thread on this, and seeing if others share our experience, and how they’ve handled it.

While I don’t have the same issues with you regarding my political beliefs, I feel for you. Most of the deep friendships I’ve had in the church are with people who share many of your beliefs, and I’ve seen how ostracized they feel. It’s a terrible thing, and I hope you can find a kindred spirit that makes you feel safe while sharing your thoughts and feelings.

We also share the concern about indoctrinating our children when when we’re not sure we have a testimony of what we’re teaching about! I don’t know about you, but I’m really not sure I want my kids baptized when they’re 8. I’d like to see them have the opportunity to seek out truth on their own, and then make their decision when they feel ready. Do you have the same types of feelings?

Fortunately for us, we’re both married to amazing women. I know that one of the reasons that I still love the church is that it produces women like my wife (not that other religions don’t do the same).

If I could offer one piece of advice it would be this: during some of my many times of crisis, I’ve simply thought of myself as “in the church, but not of the church”. I go to enjoy the fellowship, but don’t worry too much about anything else. I kind of think of myself as an investigator, which helps me not feel guilty when I have questions, or wonder why some members are so weird. :lolno:

Anyways, I’m glad to see you on the board. It seems we may have some things to talk about, which I look forward to…

[Author]

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