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I told my husband that the GA’s and MPs are paid just now and he doesn’t seem satisfied with it being for families since most of those men don’t have anymore children at home. So they would only have to support their spouse. It’s too bad there’s no way to know how much they’re making. I know it would bother me if my tithing money contributing to paying the GA’s millions of dollars for them to live in wealth. I would be fine with it though if they were making enough for them and their spouse to live comfortably. It’s the idea of them being extremely wealthy that bothers me. I hope that isn’t the case. We never see the prophet’s house. I guess that may be a safety thing, but the idea that few people know the GA’s are being paid and never see anything of theirs that could indicate wealth or a moderate living is odd. Eta: upon thinking about it more, there’s no reason to see things like their cars and homes because they could be rich already from retirement. I do still hope that we aren’t paying them large amounts of money with our tithing. That sounds rather frustrating. It’s too bad that they can’t do 40 min dinners at 6 instead of 5. That would still get them back on the road around 7 and that gives them two hours left to work. It’s not like the ward can change their work schedules to meet the missionary dinner times. I sure hope the missionaries don’t run into less meals because of this new idea. I’m hoping this isn’t off topic since it does relate to what you’re saying, but my husband and I really struggled with the new policy about the children of gay couples. My husband is very in tune with the spirit and prayed about it and got the answer that basically ‘it comes from God, but it’s not exactly what God wanted. And as long as the prophets don’t do something that will horribly mess up His plans, He will allow them to say things that may not be exactly true, or may even be completely wrong.’ That was his personal revelation about the topic, so I just thought i’d throw it out there. My husband also was pondering on the idea that our own personal biases and ideas or even moods can effect revelation, so it may also affect the prophet and apostles revelations as well. It can sometimes be confusing whether you are just feeling good/bad about something or if it’s the spirit. So my husband’s revelation could have been inaccurate as well, but it made sense to me. It really helps me personally to know that the prophet is capable of making mistakes, because then if he says something that I don’t feel right about I can feel okay that it may be wrong and just pray about whether it’s true or not. Hopefully that wasn’t off topic. I’ll have to check out the book that you’re reading, it sounds very interesting Gerald, I definitely know my parents love me and wanted what was best but I still have struggles with confidence in my own decisions. I know as parents we do what we can though
I feel like sharing my husband’s and my story. My husband has A.D.D. and has always struggled with organization and planning. His father and mother tried all the tricks in the books to help him organize things and get better grades but none of them worked for him. It wasn’t until college when my husband was able to learn about himself and how he works mentally and was able to get very good grades in college and now has a well paying career. His organization still isn’t good, but he has learned how to do things in a way that helps him succeed. I also had trouble in school growing up and was bad at organization and planning. I was never able to plan things for the long term very well. I was however very good at saving money. I have started to learn how to organize now that i’ve moved out and have figured out what works for me.
What my husband and I both wish our parents had done was work with us on figuring out how we personally learn. The way they did things seemed more of a ‘we’re going to try this because studies show it works’ tactic. But they didn’t try to get us involved in figuring out what may work and not work for us. I know there was one time where my parents actually let me come up with an idea of what I thought may work for me to get better grades in school. As soon as they saw it not working, they basically lectured me on how I had failed and that they were going to tell me what tactics we were going to use from then on. I think I was about 15 or 16. It really discouraged me and made me feel like I couldn’t make my own decisions and didn’t know what was best for me. What I wish they had done was discuss with me why I think my idea didn’t work, and had me come up with ideas of what might have made my idea better and just brainstorm with me about it so that it would become a learning experience. Basically involved me in helping me learn how I learn rather than telling me what we were going to do and how my idea hadn’t worked.
In all reality, I haven’t had teenagers yet so I may not know what I’m talking about but I know that for my husband and I wish our parents had given us the opportunity to have more input and tried to learn more about how WE learned rather than only going off how other people learned and then punishing us when we still got bad grades. It would have helped us learn earlier how we ‘work’ and how to use what we had to the best of our abilities.
So just going off my own and my husband’s experiences, have you tried going to him (figuratively) rather than having him come to you? Like trying to understand and explore how he thinks more than trying to make him think like you and his older sister. We all think differently and it makes more sense to me to try and figure out how to take advantage of the way they already think rather than trying to change the way they think. Because changing your way of processing things is extremely hard. I know the parents need to be in charge but it would have really helped me have confidence in my own decisions and learn more of how I worked earlier on than I did. Hopefully I explained that well enough
I thought it was great as well. Sadly, the Imax theater we saw it in had the volume too loud and I had to plug my ears at the action scenes because it actually began to hurt my ears about halfway through the movie. I’ve never had to do that in imax before so I think the theater just had it too loud. My husband said it hurt his ears as well. But I loved the characters of Finn and Rey. I was a little disappointed when Kylo Wren took his mask off. I was expecting someone who looked more scary. The eerieness of not knowing what he looked like helped with how threatening he was for me. But I don’t think it took away so much that he won’t be good in the next movies. I think it also didn’t help that he seemed weak compared to Rey who had no training. But someone else pointed out that it may have been on purpose because Kylo hasn’t had to fight someone else with the force for a really long time so he could have been that way because he was rusty. Made sense to me and i’m hoping he gets some training like Snope said and comes back stronger in the next movie. I’d like to see Rey and Kylo both have extensive training so we can see a more even fight between them. That was a good read. I’m not sure if I would consider a faith crisis trauma. However, that’s only going off of my own faith crisis. I definitely think about it a lot and it is pretty terrifying in a way and makes me angry, but it doesn’t feel traumatic, per say. I can tell that a lot of change will come from this though, and I really hope it is positive change. @ jgaskill it was actually my husband that went through all of that, sorry if it was confusing the way I posted it. I appreciate your input though and everyone else as well. I’m so sorry to hear about your son being refused a mission. That is just awful. Poor guy 
I’d heard the word used by people from England, but just thought it was a crass word like stupid. I can’t figure out how to change my username though, do I email the mods? Oops! Nope, I just thought of a word to do with bugs. I will have to try changing my name How do I change my name on here?
@minyan you are definitely right. I think the shock of how much it’s changing is what made me think it must be going completely downhill. I don’t remember if it was this post or another where I posted that I have always been a Molly Mormon and have never seriously doubted the church so seeing myself doubting several things at once made me worry that I may leave the church and made me feel horribly guilty. I also have anxiety that I’ve been working through for the last year as well so that’s where the ‘blowing things out of proportion’ may also be coming from. ‘I’m doubting several aspects of the church?? What’s going to happen if I leave the church?’ I have been obsessed about this whole thing for a few days but I can feel myself slowly calming down and feeling more like I may do some things that aren’t church doctrine at some point, but I don’t think I’ll leave completely. At least from where I am at right now. And I am feeling more comfortable with that idea Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk
@ Ray yeah, I definitely don’t want my kids to call me all the time or anything, only for necessary things. I would like them to solve most things on their own, but for them to know i’m available if things get to be too much for them. I would only suggest they come home if it was causing serious mental health issues or physical health issues that weren’t being addressed, or if they were being abused I would do everything in my power to get them with a new companion Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk
Both my husband and I agree that if our children decide to go on a mission, we will tell them to call us if anything serious is going on (their mental health is seriously suffering, abuse of any kind, illness or injury that they won’t allow them to tend to properly). Or even if they need advice on something that’s troubling them. I do not believe it is beneficial to cut them off from family. I don’t understand what exactly the church thinks that will prepare them for. There aren’t any times in your life where you’re forced to never be able to contact family except on specific holidays. I see the positives of having them learn to make decisions for themselves to become more responsible, but that’s not what’s happening. You can learn that when you go off to college. I do kind of see what you mean about teaching conformity. I know my husband saw many TBM missionaries start breaking the rules just because the white handbook was so extremely hard to follow and they would see no progress for their efforts. But they would see people who weren’t obeying the rules getting baptisms. It went against everything they’d been taught and it broke a lot of them and they decided to rebel against the mission. So really, in some cases it backfires. I wish there was a way to find out how often it actually happens. Sorry, kind of started rambling there Hi, On Own Now, I think your answer is closest to what will work for me. I tend to be a talker and like to connect with people. I think it’s definitely good advice to first figure out where exactly I am before bringing it up to anyone. Especially to my family, because you’re right, they’d want to find out why and then try and tell me where I was incorrect, which doesn’t help anything. I think it’d be better for me to be able to explore it alone (and with my husband) so that I don’t have too many people talking in my ear about what I should do. I also liked someone’s advice on this thread to pose my doubts more as questions instead of a confession. That seems like an easier way to feel out their reactions and then it won’t make it seem like a dire situation or something.
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