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I have attended the Unitarian Church a handful of times. They bluntly state that their roots are from Judaism and Christianity. They add that they take those traditions seriously but not literally. Unitarians are NOT biblical Christians.
A fundamentalist who sees the Bible as the literal word of God is a biblical Christian.
Make the contact be about them. Their family. Their needs. Listen intently and hear them. Too often, people listen — only waiting for a break in the conversation . They don’t hear anything. They are there simply to talk about themselves. Don’t be that person. Let them set the boundaries for the relationship. Don’t assume they will infringe inappropriately into your life. It’s funny to me that in Mormonism, so many assume other members will have problems with boundaries. Assume the best intentions.
Dande48 wrote:
Quote:
Did the Young Women ever have such a resource? Thinking about it… I’ve known some young women who’ve struggle with porn, etc, yet it’s ultra-stigmatized, which I think hurts their ability to be open and honest about it (beyond that of young men). I wish the Church had better resources for women’s sexual health.I never had a bishop or church leader ask me anything beyond “Do you keep the LoC”. I was never asked if I had touched myself. I was never asked about mastrubation.
I have mixed feelings on the topic. On one hand, the difference in interview styles between genders looks like the assumption is YW are asexual until involved with a boy/man. I find that wrong and annoying. On the other hand, I really would not want some dude asking YW if they had ever pleasured themselves.
The entire youth interview process has so much potential for harm. Maybe YW ought to be interviewed by women. Maybe just the basic LoC question could be asked. Maybe a second question could be added simply asking if anyone had or was currently sexually /physically abusing them. A third question asking if they were treating anyone with less than respect.
Quote:She is taught that sitting at lunch with a non-member is a slippery slope,
Just WOW.
Totally off of topic .. but ..
LDS members account for 1-2% of our local population. That includes members that no one has seen in 20 years. Active members are probably more like 0.5%. Many Christian locals consider LDS cultists … so my kids had better be very inclusive and welcoming.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fUM86eL6tVw #Wow. Thank you for sharing. It is a powerful song
Why is it that men can play professional sports (which are entertainment) like basketball and no one asks them about their garments. A man can dance in a leotard and no one asks about his garments. A man can do a shirtless episode in a play and no one asks about his garments. A woman does something something professionally that requires a particular costume, uniform or leotard and suddenly everyone is looking for garment lines.
I find it annoying.
DarkJedi’s comment, Quote:On the other hand, I’d love to be there when she meets her Savior and He lifts her by her hand” really hit home to me.
In an LDS temple, the doorway is knocked upon. If no one answers at the veil, I have seen workers POUND on the doorway at the veil as they wait for someone representing God to show up. They demand that someone show up and be there.
I also think about how people stand at the veil. They do not kneel, they do not wait to be asked in. They know that they are worthy and righteous and they are there to pass a simple test to prove it. They feel entitled to enter the presence of God .. And pound on the doorway if necessary.
In full contrast, I like so much more the vision of one of God’s children kneeling and weeping and having God find them, having God take them by the hand and assist them to stand and come forward for a walk with Him.
Such images are so simple, and yet so very different.
So many people know me or my DH that I don’t think I am anonymous at all. Honestly, I never expected to be as the LDS bloggernacle is a small isolated corner of the world .. kinda like mormonism. I am open about my thoughts, feelings and doubts. There isn’t anything posted on line that would be a problem in a personal life.
I will verify that LookingHard is so handsome that serving staff at the restaurant were sliding him their phone numbers along with the check. The one with the lipstick and “call me” seemed a little forward. My daughter was dying in ICU and the stake patriarch’s wife told me point-blank that she hadn’t been healed because she received a blessing from her dad and he must not have been worthy enough or spiritually strong enough to warrant healing from God. She sent her husband down to “do the job right”.
It made zero difference in the outcome.
It’s been over 20 years and I am still completely F-bomb pissed off whenever I think about it. The audacity of her judgment of my kind, faithful and devout DH still leaves me bitter. I was recently asked to share a story for their 50th wedding anniversary. I thought about sending THAT. (And no. I did not).
A few years ago, NPR was discussing early marriage. They stated that statistically, if either partner is under the age of 20 when they marry, 19 out of 20 marriages will not last. I would like to think the LDS statistics are better, but I would suspect the stats are still not great. In LDS society, if someone had a divorce while really young, it doesn’t get discussed. I feel that married professional women might be occasionally disapproved of within the LDS culture, but when they divorce and and able to support their children and lifestyle without church/ward support, they gain status within the culture.
SAHMs who divorce and are unable to financially support their families, they are all too often treated as second-class members in a ward. Too often, they fade out of church activity, and the ward is happy to see the “problem family” just go away.
The result is that early marriage and little education sets LDS women for failure in life.
Looking Hard, we miss your trips up to our neck of the woods. It was always a treat to have dinner with you. Ray, congratulations on the wedding. It was wonderful to have lunch with you last year .. It is bound to happen again!
Quit trying to fix her and the situation. She can do her own needed repairs on her emotions. Quote:As Ray wrote:
“Shut up and love her, if that is what she needs.
Love her – then love her more – then love her more – in an eternal round. She didn’t change; you did. You loved her as she was, so love her as she is. Make sure she knows you love her as much as you ever have. Don’t just say it; prove it. No expectations of understanding. If it happens, fine; if not, fine. Doesn’t matter; love her. “
Quote:Mom3 wrote:
“There is a Facebook group called Another Testament of Marriage. I dropped by it for awhile but it put me off because the believing spouses were in their anger place and it was off putting. But that has been a few years ago, it may be better now. It is moderated by a couple she is the believer he is not. “
I am a member of the sister site — Former Mormons with Believing Spouses. My husband was using Another Testament of Marriage. He found it full of complaints of all the horrific habits the ex-mo spouses had developed. It was not helpful for him. He kept looking at me and expecting me to suddenly become a some crazied pole-dancing stripper. Eh .. not gonna happen.
A Thoughtful Faith is an excellent online forum for so many. This forum is good. So many sites seem so full of people with horrific and messy marital problems. Church or lack of church has become the excuse for too many issues that are far beyond that.
