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Their “love” does more to drive me away than it does to keep me around. I’m at church for 3 and 1/2 hours every Sunday, I see these people too much as it is. I’m floored! As a person who suffers with Bi-Polar, OCD and Depression, I want to yell that having mental illness is not an excuse to be mean to a loved one! Don’t let someones mental illness be an excuse to treat you badly. Sorry, but getting away from your wife might be the best option if she can’t treat you appropriately. Why are you putting the church’s needs before yours? If you need a break, take a break regardless of what the people at church need. Your primary responsibility is to you and your family. Hang in there man! You are not bad, you just feel that way because your depressed. FYI- I think most teenagers/young adults experiment with drugs and alcohol to a certain extent. Pretty normal teenage stuff if you ask me. Don’t let your feelings about your past dictate your future. Psychiatry and therapy worked wonders for me, I’d go see a medical professional ASAP. Sorry if I sound opinionated, I’m just concerned and I feel like I can relate.
YOU ARE SIGNIFICANT! You are significant to your children and in the eyes of your creator. I’m sorry you feel this way. Could you try just viewing the church as a social club and ignore the stuff you don’t like? How about limiting your LDS exposure? Perhaps an easy on Sunday only calling? Missing a Sunday service every once and awhile can help too! Also, to avoid rocking the boat I wouldn’t express your doubts to everyone. It can blow up in your face. Besides your husband, I don’t think you owe anyone an explanation. In the Godfather part 2, Don Corleone said, “Never let anyone know what you are thinking.” IMHO, it’s good advice at church too.
Good luck with whatever you do!
Wow, you have given the church 10 percent of your income every year of your life and the church will only give you 3 appointments with counselors. That’s messed up! Great way of looking after the flock. Billions for malls and jack for the parishioner. I really agree with what Roy wrote. I would be very careful involving others with your marital problems. Ultimately, the responsibility of keeping your marriage together belongs to you and your husband. IMHO, there is not much the church can really do in this scenario. From my experience, what you tell these people in confidence probably gets blasted to the entire ward via ward council and PEC.
It seems like you are upset that church leaders don’t talk to your husband more because when they do, you like your husbands behavior better.
Sorry you are dealing with some difficult things! Hang in there. Things will get better! I have felt the same way you have before about being in a new ward and finding the ward unfriendly. Personally, I compare every new ward I am in to my first ward ever. That’s a heavy comparison because my first ward had lots of great people. However, don’t give up! It’s unlikely that everyone in your new ward in unfriendly.
Due to the fact that you are unhappy with the help the church has provided you, have you considered outside professional help? Personally, I don’t like the church too involved in my personal business.
Best wishes and stay positive!
Wow! I can’t believe all the great responses I have received. Thanks again! I have a great deal to think about. I know my anger and how I express it are completely my problem. It’s based on my own neurosis. I want to apologize if the term “persecute” upset anyone. It’s one of the terms my cousin has thrown at me to describe his feelings towards the LDS church. I’m the only member in my family and some family gatherings like Thanksgiving get a bit hairy. Part of me understands why he uses this term. People are donating time and money so he and 10 percent of our population can’t have the same civil rights. I ask myself, why do I even care? I’m not gay. That sounds pretty selfish. Isn’t that the more important question for me?
I want to thank people for warning me that this site could shake someones testimony. However, I think every person should read both sides of the story. Making a decision about what you believe when you don’t know all the facts seems strange to me. IMHO, anytime someones tells you not to read something, you should go read it!
Sorry if I got off base! I am really touched by all the responses. I keep going over them trying to decide my strategy. Also, I hope I didn’t make anyone mad. This has been an amazingly cathartic experience for me!
Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom! I’m going to try to think like a Jedi. As far as throwing in a little dissent, I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I don’t want to get on anyones radar. Isn’t what someone considers “mental gymnastics” subjective? However, I wish everyone well regardless of where they are on their journey. I think Mr. Johnston gave some great advice. I think his 5 points are really on the money. Personally, I wouldn’t want to have another kid right now if the marriage seems shaky. I felt really sad for you when I read that your wife is threatening to take your kid to Russia. That would freak me out! I know you mentioned that money is tight right now, but I might explore your options in stopping your wife from fleeing to Russia with your kid. I wish you and your family the best of luck!
