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It’s making me sad as much as angry. There are good aspects to wearing garments, but the church does want to control what women wear. It is becoming an obsession. And I am even sadder and angrier at the women who sell us out, who cluck their tongues and generate infinitely long lists of what girls can and cannot wear. Modesty grows OUT of something within. It’s not pounded in from the outside. This is off-topic, but “portfolio” triggered the thought. We see over and over and over again a certain portrait of Christ in the church. So often that I have wondered if that particular image on nearly every piece of paper and wall we touch doesn’t border on nonchalance and irreverence. Why? When there are so many images of the Savior, why are we so attached to one? Not a crucial thing, to be sure. Just kind of discouraging and somewhat representative of less trival things. Sorry about the poorly chosen word. And I should wait to hear the new wording of the recommend question. My understanding is that there are added pointed questions about wearing them for several different activities. If that is the case, it will strike me as inappropriate and uninspired. We’re asked whether we pay a full tithe. Period. Not whether we pay on gross or net income, before or after exactly which taxes and deductions. I’m asked about the Word of Wisdom. Not whether I cook with wine, or should really lose twenty pounds. The obsession with what we (and women in particular) wear is becoming stronger. For the record, I’m a middle-aged person who anyone would describe and modest in dress. Garments are already very difficult for many women for a variety of reasons. Being checked up on, scrutinized and commanded in every little thing, IF that is the case, will lessen my trust in our leaders. I have new and troubling feelings about garments. I have worn them my whole married life, and am faithful in thought and deed in my marriage. But reports I’ve heard about “them” “cracking down” on garment-wearing strikes something like terror in me. I hate feeling this way. I feel intruded upon and controlled, not trusted and respected. I can relate to the unexpectedly and quickly. It has been exhausting and heartbreaking. I have more hope than I did in the beginning that I will find the way through this. While continuing to maintain all normal appearances, my inner life in the church turned upside down in about a week. The rug was pulled out from under me. In my present emotional state I feel less belonging, less tolerant of the cliques, nitpicking, wheel-spinning and sanctimony. A good bishop and a good therapist would be great. A couple of weeks into it, I can see the good in my crisis. I find myself FAR less critical of my family, particularly my husband, who I could often, though gently, badger with undone church chores. I am so thankful for visiting teaching. I hope I’m dead when they change that program. And in my callings I am much more, and much more NATURALLY (because it’s the only way I steer my way clear to fulfill them) focusing on the things that matter. I don’t care how others view me in my calling, just that I am making very honest effort to fill my niche and be someone’s help. Yes, the Book of Mormon inspires me. “…It always brings meekness and lowliness of heart, sorrow for sin but strength to repent, and courage to act and speak in entirely new ways. In other words, it always brings people to Christ – to accept Him as both judge and friend and to follow His command, in the book, to be like Him.” (Eugene England) The quote made a huge impression on me when I read it – it’s my borrowed “scripture” on scripture. I have not dealt with body image or significant weight problems, and, from that different starting point, would still agree with the comments about the garment. Particularly the bottom portion. And saying – sort of on the sly because the temple recommend question asks whether you wear it day and night – “Well, just put on something else when you want to be intimate” misses the whole mechanism by which women BECOME INTERESTED in being intimate. I resent being told that the solution to how thorough-goingly unattractive I feel all day is to flip a switch, remove something I’ve promised to wear, and put on something else. I wish I could be taught a correct principle – and I do believe that men and women should be eager to understand each other, and are both responsible to maintain modesty and create intimacy – and govern myself. I agree that men and women should work together on this issue. But I think something is askew. Lately the message I get from wearing garments is: “Even in your own house, in your own bedroom, you are not allowed to dress for the comfort and pleasure of yourself and your spouse.” I am a lifelong member and married in the temple more than twenty-five years ago, but I am suddenly very angry. Someone I love will go through the temple soon and I have suddenly come face to face with some of my extremely negative feelings about garments. I don’t want this for her. Is the previous poster saying that she is being told she can go through the temple and NOT wear garments? I have worn my garments for more than 25 years and never answered “no” to the recommend interview question about them, I don’t know.
