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Thank you for the warm welcome, everyone! I’ve been reading through old threads for a couple of weeks now. So many intelligent and interesting discussions! I’m very impressed. And I can’t wait to read more.
This was a fun thread to read and a fun topic to think about. I agree with a lot of what was said. I’m all for doing away with or seriously revamping Visiting Teaching and Home Teaching. I’m a very social person, but I’m not a fan of forced friendships. And that’s what VT feels like to me. More often than not, it’s a burden to even be visit taught, let alone to coordinate schedules to try and go visit. The whole thing just feels canned.
I am also a proponent of bringing back the ward activities committee. Now, the burden of planning and pulling of ward activities fall to the already stretched auxiliary presidencies. And so the quality and frequency of activities suffer. And personally, I think ward activities have huge value.
SilentDawning wrote:
hawkgrrrl wrote:
We should care about their future, and that doesn’t mean just getting them pregnant at the first sign of fertility. We do a very poor job encouraging women in this church to be able to be financially independent which leads to some of them being abused, not able to divorce, or reduced to poverty.
Then you should love my advice to my daughter to live her life so she can have her own income and own independence at any time she wants it. To be hopeful and hardworking in a committed relationship, but never to give up her independence. Self-reliance goes well beyond having a food storage.
I also told her not to get sucked into childbearing as soon as she gets married just because a church leader recommends it. She can do what she wants, but at least to consider there are other alternatives.
Yes! This is great.
My issue with the LDS culture of marriage is mainly in the way it limits women. When I was growing up, marriage and family were discussed as not just the highest goal, but the only goal. Sometimes it seems like women only really matter in what they can contribute to a family unit. “Real life” begins for a woman once she’s married.
Oh, they talk about making sure you get a college degree, so that you can have a “back up plan,” in case you become widowed or divorced, but it’s rarely ever discussed (at least, in my experience,) in terms of gaining independence, finding your passion or learning how to channel your talents to make a positive contribution to the world. And I agree that there can be no greater contribution than your children, but does that have to be the *only* one?
I was 19 when I met my husband. Still a child, really. But my he is a genuinely great guy, and I fell in love him, so…I married him. Why wouldn’t I? That’s what you do. And my husband is still great, but once the momentum of marriage and babies slowed down, I realized I wanted (needed) more than being a wife and stay at home mom only. And know that I have nothing but the highest respect for stay at home moms. Trouble was, I had nothing really to start from. I’d never thought in any serious way about what career would work best for my talents. And while I had a degree, it wasn’t enough to really get me started in anything.
It’s not an insurmountable problem, of course, but I am determined to share all of the options with my daughters, and to teach them that there can be multiple combinations of options. And that they matter as an individual, not just as a wife or mother.
