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Hi, Joni! While I won’t be LDS until tomorrow night, I’ve picked up a few things in the past few months, and have some thoughts.
There seems to be a bias against women in most religions and cultures around the world. But I do believe I’ve read in LDS writings that husband and wife are supposed to be equal partners. My dad used to yell a lot about how the man was supposed to be Head of the Household, because someone has to have the Final Say. And there is basis in Scripture for that. If we look at the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, we see three separate entities working as a cohesive whole, with unity of purpose and belief. I think that maybe we are supposed to try to emulate that within our families. In this life, it may be very difficult to work this way, but I’m hoping in the next, with the veil lifted, it will be easier to achieve.
I also had a prayer that was answered with a resounding “NO,” when I was expecting a “yes,” or even a “maybe,” and that has echoed and wounded me every since. I feel like I am in tatters a lot of the time, and even my anti-depressants can’t lift the weight from my shoulders. But I have to have faith that the answer is what’s best for me at this time. Maybe in the future the reason will become apparent to me as to why I couldn’t have what I asked for.
I know what it feels like to feel unloved and unwanted. There are many times when even I don’t want to be around me. But over the last few months, I have looked back over my life for the last 20 years and found that at some of my lowest points, the times that I felt the most alone and least loved, that God was there, watching me and helping me, even when I knew, KNEW, that He had turned His back on me. And all the times I thought He had abandoned me, He was actually pulling me closer and preparing me to find this church and join.
Also, I just said a prayer for you. I hope it helps.
arik
Hey! I’m not actually a member of the Church. Apparently, what I am is an “Investigator.” I was never very spiritual or religious, but I had an experience a few years back that opened my eyes to the afterlife, and I started searching. I have found a lot of truth in the Scriptures, and a lot of good, happy people in the ward I’ve been attending. But they still are just that: People. No matter how hard we try, we are all still sinners and fall short.
I have suffered, and am suffering, from bouts of major depression, where even meds wouldn’t work. I’ve never been suicidal like you, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been praying for God to take me home. Maybe he wants me baptized and confirmed first…
Amyway, what I really wanted to say is that, no matter how horrible people may have been to you, you should work to forgive them, even if they haven’t asked. Not only is there a Scriptural basis for this, but I’ve found that it can be cathartic and have the effect of lessening the weight on my shoulders, which sometimes seems unbearable. I’m not always good at it: there are still people I’ve been angry at for years and years. I know it would be better to let go, but sometimes I just want to brood and wallow in my misery. I suspect you know the feeling.
But I will add you to the people I pray for tonight.
One of the things that is drawing me more and more to this Church is the idea that we are supposed to use our minds as well as our feelings. Following your feelings will often cause you to do things your mind and all reason tell you is wrong. That’s a situation where prayer seems to come in handy for focusing thoughts and bringing feelings in line. Doesn’t always work, but it can help. That said, I believe there is a lesson to be learned from your experience: DON’T TRUST GOVERNMENT!
The idea of CPS sounds pretty good, and the concept of saving children who are in harm’s way is an attractive one, but the reality tends to become a large, corrupt government organization metastasizing into ever corner of your life. The abuses we’ve had here in my area in Ohio have been disgusting. They will destroy multiple lives and families to save that theoretical “one child.” I don’t condone or support child abuse, but in many cases, the governemnt organizations that are supposed to be helping are just as abusive as the people they are supposed to be there to stop. A family member abusing a child is a crime. A government bureaucracy abusing hundreds of children to stop that one family member is an outrage.
Or perhaps it’s just that some concepts are timeless. I have no problem thinking that God used ancient writers to reach a modern audience. I recently read a commentary suggesting the Psalms were inspired in such a way as to speak to each generation without regard to era, that they were written in such a way as to inspire musical arrangements from each generation. Interestingly, I believe I’ve found at least one instance of anachronism in the KJV of the Bible: In the Book of Job, there are numerous referneces to astronomical features such as Orion and Arcturus. Unless I’m very mistaken, these are Greek names given LONG after the era of Job, who is considered to be a contemporary or near-contemporary of Abraham. Some of the words and concepts used, even in the KJV, are likely used to identify things to an audience in a time other than that of the author.
Just a thought: When talking about how the 19th century seems to creep into the BOM, consider that regardless of WHEN it was written, it was written for a 19th century audience, whether Joseph Smith made the whole thing up, or whether it was written exactly as it details in the Book itself. It would have been inspired to be written in a manner that would appeal to people in the time in which it was to be revealed, which in this case was the 19th century. serene wrote:I’ve never been raised to believe in some of these new teachings but it seems like it’s filling in a ‘gap’ of some sort that has been in my life.
I am reluctant & skeptical but I find myself more and more believing these things make sense.
Anyone else experience anything like this?
When I was reading the Book of Mormon, there were times that I thought that, if I were to have been asked to write down what I believe, that I would have written almost exactly what I was reading. I would ask questions of my dear friend who introduced me to the Church, expecting a certain answer, and the answer she gave me was almost always the answer I expected. This experience lead me to a quick belief on the premortal existence. Most of the time, it’s not like I’m learning a new faith, but remembering one I knew before. Exhilarating!
serene, I wanted to put up an “introduction” post, but I don’t think I could say it any better than you did. I think I am just slightly farther along the path than you are.
By all means, go to a meeting: You’ll find the people you meet aren’t freaky weird cult crazy people (most of them, anyway), but they’re people you work with, or see at the store, or even live next door to. And, if your experience is anything like mine, you’ll look forward all week to going back. Just be prepared to spend a few hours, and not want to leave when it’s over. I’ve been to service for many denominations, and the LDS service is significantly different from any of them. And that’s a good thing.
Don’t worry about what other people think about the church. What’s important is what YOU think of the church. Personally, I’m kind of a contrarian, and the more people tell me I shouldn’t, the more I dig my heels in. I’ve already found myself defending the doctrine of a church I’m not yet a member of!
Spend time with the people: unlike pretty much any other church I’ve ever attended, the people in the ward I’ve been attending really seem to like each other and enjoy each other’s company, even when chruch is over. I’m sure there are bad apples in the bunch, but I have yet to find one, and I refuse to spend my time searching. I even found a fellow Metalhead! I was afraid I’d be the only one in the bunch who likes Ozzy!
http://www.fairlds.org/http://www.fairlds.org/” class=”bbcode_url”> I hope you find what you’re looking for!
This might sound a little strange, but I don’t think Kent’s long apologetic was meant for figuringitout at all. I think it was meant for me. I have struggled with the concept of faith for years. I’ve had beliefs, but couldn’t find a church that was compatible with them. I never thought to look to the Mormons, because they’re, you know, WEIRD. They believe a lot of really freaky things and they’re not, you know, CHRISTIAN.
But then I felt our Heavenly Father calling me, and decided to trust in Him and do what he asked of me. And my life has turned inside-out.
So I understand him when he says he felt the necessity to respond. It’s the same sense of urgency that made me check out a church I had no intention of EVER joining. And now I’ve attended a few weeks and can’t wait for the next.
I have FELT the Truth in so much of what I’ve read that it frightens me. But I’m afraid of being lead astray, and, lengthy though it was, Kent’s essay made me feel a lot better about the company I believe I am about to choose to keep. Maybe that’s why he felt compelled to comment. So, thank you, Kent!
🙂 And figuringitout, I was musing on faith at church today, and the joke was made that “‘faith’ is an action word.” I’ve learned a lot about it over the past few months. It is human nature to doubt. The women went to the tomb on Easter to annoint Jesus’ body. THEY didn’t believe he would be risen. The Apostles were SHOCKED to see him risen. THEY didn’t believe he would be resurrected. Jesus HIMSELF had a moment of doubt on the cross. If all of these had doubts, and THEY WERE THERE, then perhaps I can be forgiven for my occasional lapses of faith. In addition, look at the histories we’ve been given, both in the Bible and the Book of Mormon: The CHOSEN PEOPLE OF GOD FELL FROM FAITH REPEATEDLY!! God freed His people from Egypt, then parted the Red Sea, then spoke to them at Sinai, and two days later, they were, “But what has he done for us lately? Let’s worship a golden calf!”
And every time the people fell, He may have been angry and punished them, but when they repented, He accepted them back and kept His covenants with them. He understands what you’re going through. Don’t let the imperfect people around you distract you from the perfect love your Heavenly Father has for you. Given enough time, people will ALWAYS disappoint us. But God will keep His promises. Every time.
