[Arthur]

I really like this story, for the following reasons.

1. You said I’m your friend.

2. You linked to my post.

3. I think it really highlighted some important aspects of my own search for “truth.” And that is, every time I’ve had a problem with the LDS Church, maybe even a “dealbreaker,” when I really searched my heart I realized that the problem was really with me. Not with the Church, my parents, or anyone else. Human beings are very good at deflecting. But I realized that if and when I stand before God to account for my actions, I’m not going to be able to deflect anything. I’m not going to be able to trick Him or twist or parse my words confusingly. There will be no “it depends on what the definition of the word is is.” I’m not going to be able to blame anyone else. This NDE really highlights this fact. Whether or not it was an “authentic” experience is really secondary. The experiencer’s walls were all completely broken down into their true sources.

After reading Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor Frankl, something within me changed. I realized that man (and woman) can do anything. If man can get through the concentration camps of Nazi Germany, seeing every atrocity there, and losing family members, and still get through on the other side believing in the goodness of man and believing in God… then man can do anything. And by extension, I can do anything. Mortality gives us a chance not to ASK the question “What is the meaning of life?” but to ANSWER the question. And I choose how to answer. As soon as God steps in, even to answer part of the question, even to offer PROOF that He exists, He’s taking away our agency to create meaning ourselves. Proof that God exists would be proof that He doesn’t love us- or trust us.

Once I got through all that, I realized that God isn’t going to judge me based on whether Joseph Smith was a liar. He won’t judge me based on whether I was gullible or tricked by some scientific sleight of hand. He will judge me based on what I have done with what I have, and whether I loved others. He will not judge me based on whether I obeyed a rule, but whether I UNDERSTAND the rule. And if we really understand the rule, we will want to not only obey it but go BEYOND it.

Believe it or not, this made me love the Church even more. Because now the perceived “problems” of the Church all melted away. That NDE basically says the same thing, to me.

[Author]

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