[Arwen]

Apparently it didn’t work in Colorado or Minnesota and maybe even in Missouri.

[Arwen]

SamBee wrote:

I think a lot of older singles are damaged goods, sadly, as there is so much pressure to get married young. Please do not think this is a personal comment. I’m an SA, but I definitely feel this way.

I’m eccentric myself perhaps, and I do find that a barrier. I’d like to find myself a lovely intelligent Bohemian Mormon woman. Do they exist? I don’t have issues quite like the ones you describe, but I’d like someone who did understand my own “kookiness”, and that it is not all dangerous!

Do you believe that Alma is visiting you? do you believe you are an angle? or and angel for that matter? Are you Sparticus? If you answer any of these questions yes…then nevermind.

Do you like dogs??? if you answer that question yes… I’m single too, and a bit goofy myself.

[Arwen]

Oh and I have another friend who was dating a guy who is active in my ward, very much active in things. However she couldn’t commit to him. And four months into the relationship he let her know he had been arrested and was on probation for beating up his sixteen year old son. She asked if had been in parenting classes and he said no, his son had moved back with his mother so it wasn’t an issue.

[Arwen]

Old-Timer wrote:

Life is interesting, ain’t it? :crazy:

Sorry, I’m laughing too hard at those two guys to say anything else right now.

I am telling ya… :crazy: 🙄

My Bishop wonders why I date non-members…. at this point I am um…really??? Not once have I ever had this type of conversation with any non-members dating or otherwise.

The sad part of this is I have single friends in Utah, Idaho and Arizona that are running into the same thing. One friend had a date tell her she was the one, asked her to marry him (in the temple) and this was all on the first date. My friend in Idaho had a date with a TBM man who had a fetish for garments…And the one in Arizona had a gentleman chase her for months until she finally said yes…they were married in the Mesa Temple…then he disappeared. She got the legal side of the marriage annulled after she found him living in a different house in the Phoenix area. And the number of polygamous men that have hit on all of us is staggering.

[Arwen]

I truly wish we could be more open and honest about this type of thing…imagine how much we could support each other if we were so honest in church. If those who questioned would all open up instead of hide. My example is my daughter had some issues with the WoW, I felt like a failure, and like the ward was judging everything harshly. I supported my daughter because from my own life experiences I can tell you drinking coffee isn’t nearly as bad as a sin as some in the church make it out to be….but she was so ostracized that she left the church completely.

And now two years later, she has moved on in her life, doesn’t drink coffee anymore, and is extremely happy. However, come to find out, that in our ward there was a boy her same age who fell away from the church too, has tons of health issues. His health issues are do to his over use of illegal drugs. Now I think what blessing it would have been had his mother and I been able to openly talk about WoW issues together, instead of being put in hiding and being made to feel like failures. We could have at least comforted each other. I know there is a big difference in coffee and meth, but not really in the TBM world.

[Arwen]

After hearing his talk, some of it wasn’t so bad, but some of it was…whew, no gay person is ever going to want to step foot in an LDS church if they heard it, I am thankful Pres. Monson is in reasonably good health.

[Arwen]

Mike wrote:

How many polygamy / polyandry families do you know?

Personally, I don’t know any.

Mike from Milton.

That’s my point…I don’t know any, except the Sister Wives Reality TV show (I will take as a Reality TV show’s worth only, which ain’t much IMHO). But I know plenty of very dysfunctional regular ‘normal’ mom/dad 2.5 kid families. In fact I don’t know any that aren’t dysfunctional. I am just saying that everyone has the right to be miserable and have a horrible family life….why should I suffer alone. :wtf: 😆

[Arwen]

cwald wrote:

Arwen wrote:

I know I am probably the only member who thinks differently about Prop 8, and

???

Same horse…different horse race. I think if the people in a state wants polygamy/polyandry to be legal…fine by me. Same with Gay Marriage, if the people in a state want it..fine by me. As long as everyone is over the age of consent. I know that makes me a very odd duck indeed in the TBM world.

I myself would choose neither…but it would be my choice not the choice of the government or a bunch of well meaning people trying to save me by forcing their moral standards on me.

and from my experience, most of the dysfunctional families I know are straight, one husband/one wife families.

[Arwen]

My opinion is that if they are of legal age…people should be able to marry who or how many they want. I.E. A man and a group of women want to be polygamous fine…but I think it’s the same coin as Gay Marriage. If one is good then all is good. And I am all for what ever people want to do as long as they are consenting adults.

And to say Gay Marriage is the reason for the destruction of Straight Marriage is a weak straw man at best.

I know I am probably the only member who thinks differently about Prop 8, and from my point of view it is the exact same issue as polygamy and polyandry

[Arwen]

You know my fathers family was catholic…they waited and took airplanes and cars to go cross country…no one ever writes stories about them.

Cwald,

Love the stories…and yes they could be sold to penthouse. :crazy:

[Arwen]

I believe in the Atonement of Christ.

I doubt and am skeptical of some things people teach about him.

I believe there is truth in all belief systems and churches.

I would question Christ himself about things I think are weird…and I think he would approve of me questioning him.

[Arwen]

Quote:

Bad actions are easy to identify. Bad people much harder. I’ll leave the latter to God…..

This story made me cry for some reason…great blog. Thank you for sharing

[Arwen]

I just wish the TBM would act like Christians every once in a while.

My son, left the area, moved 1600 miles away after graduating from HS…I still brag on his accomplishments, even though to TBM standards he is broken. However, he has had the same job, worked his way up from parts runner to apprentice machinist in two years…supports himself completely, and is in the process of buying a house (he’s 21 now). I still get the bad mother routine from some of the members, but I tend to hang out with all the other ‘broken’ members, we all sit mostly in the very back rows of church every Sunday. I think if Christ was there, he’d be sitting with us.

You’re son is not a failure, it’s a real medical issue. You as a parent are not a failure. Your son doesn’t need to be fixed, as he is not broken.

I so wish…as I said up top…that some of TBM would have some little inkling of what the Atonement is about. They are so preoccuied by doing the works they miss so much. The value only the works and that is it. It’s like they are busy cleaning up the garden and miss the resurrected Savior standing in their midst.

[Arwen]

You know if I could ask Sis. Beck anything…I would ask why….why…for the love of all things holy…does she go to the same hair stylist as The Donald?

My second question would be…Can I please pay for a new do for you?

All my other questions would be useless

But some I would like to ask is this

Do you think Alma the Youngers mother didn’t make him wear his ‘white shirt’ to church on Sundays because she was mother who didn’t know?

Do you think Eve slacked on getting Cain to church on Sunday because she was a mother who didn’t know?

And lastly

Our Heavenly Parents have had quite a few children rebel, is that because they let them wear flip flops to church on Sunday?

yes her Mothers who know irks me to no end. It’s like she quite doesn’t get the freedom of choice thing, that if a parent does everything and the child still goes wayward it’s the parents fault, because a good mother won’t have wayward kids…ever.

[Arwen]

Heber13 wrote:

Arwen, what a great post! Thanks, I needed to hear that.

From my personal experience, I have wondered lately if God realizes it is time for me to learn something important…and that prayers or tithing blessings need to be withheld so I can really get to the tough questions, and begin to let go of expectations of blessings. Because I still believe in the past I did get blessings from tithing, and I did get answers to prayers on specific things like who to marry, jobs, decisions on finances, etc. (at the same time, I no longer view God directly intervening in my life that much, but I choose to hold on to the sacred experiences in my past and not redefine them.) Basically, I honestly feel the Lord knew I needed to grow, and for me, that is by taking this new approach to my faith, and come to realize more of exactly what you wrote…

Arwen wrote:

I am at the point now that I do what I can in living the way I can to make it back to heaven. It’s all I can do at this time, and if someone doesn’t like it they can bugger off. I don’t think God is nearly as harsh in his condemnation as humans are

My heart tells me the same thing, Arwen.

So…is paying tithing still “better than nothing”…or does it help you whether or not any of the Church claims on blessings in this life or the life hereafter are ever really going to happen?

To be honest I have a real hard time paying tithing, because it is spent on temples. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love temples, understand the need for temples….I just don’t understand the need for the thousand dollars worth of crystal chandeliers. I get the Lord wants the best, but IMHO I think he would rather have us spend that money on other people. I also have a somewhat Jewish idea of God and money…I’d just as soon throw the money in the air, tell God he can keep what he wants and what falls on the ground is mine. I live other principles because I want to, not because of promises of getting to the CK. That’s how I am wired, if I believe it is a good and righteous thing to do, I do it with my whole heart. If I don’t understand the logic behind it (i.e. tithing) then I tend to be more skeptical about it all. Of course I also believe God gave us brains and wants us to use them, and that one of the reasons we are down here is to make mistakes. If a ship simply sits in the nice little lagoon and never faces any rough waves or storms, whats the point? He didn’t send us down here to forgo going out on the ocean. I like to think of Eve, she knew partaking of the fruit was forbidden, but also knew that things wouldn’t progress if she just did nothing. I truly believe one of the reasons we are here is to make mistakes. My mistakes have taught me that I can only do so much right now…and pushing it will lead me failing.

[Author]

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