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As a person who has been through Situational Depression, you are not quitting, you are doing what you need to do to save yourself. And it sounds as if you husbands calling is causing your issues. This type of thing happens, once out of the situation things will most likely improve from that stand point. However, reading some of your other posts, I think there might be deeper issues (most of which I can totally relate to) that you might need to find a way to wrap your head around (the patriarchal set up of the church, ect). I had a hard time with the General RS meeting this weekend, loved the talks, but hated the way the women use that fake sing song lollypops and rainbows voices….it’s hard on us warrior women who would rather stand shoulder to shoulder with our own swords drawn…we aren’t the cheerleading type that most LDS women are. 
I know I am Arwen here, but in reality I am so totally more like Eowyn….
:shh: the thing that amuses me is there are only a certain number of men’s names in the scriptures…and even fewer women’s names…so what we are all going to have the same names? believe it it’s a weird quirk of mine…I have other issues with temple stuff too that makes me giggle inside…meh I guess I best stick to fixing up my nicely decorated hand basket that I will be taking to outer darkness. I remember being scared to death…then I went through the temple. My Temple Prep wasn’t all I needed and left me wondering and freaked out….then I went through the temple. My advice is, it’s not nearly as scary or freaky as our minds tend to make it. Also just relax, you won’t grasp much of it the first time through, so just relax and enjoy the ride. Go through again to get the symbolisms and stuff, and they aren’t out of the norm
have you ever lost your sense of burning desire to serve others and that selfless drive of charity you once had, due to the systemized, programmed expectations of service in the Church? Or due to take-you-for-grantedness on the part of the leaders? How do you get it back?
I have lost my desire to serve others, not so much due the the systemized expectations of the church…but because as of late it has always come back to bite me square in the hind end. I guess it’s my rose colored glasses have now gone black…I see people so much differently now, I used to look for goodness in people, but have been so bitterly disappointed in people that now I don’t expect them to do good at all.
My own experience with trying, or begging for a blessing, in the last month has been very hard on me emotionally. I asked several male members for a blessing, each one kept telling me ask my HT…I would if I had a clue as to who they were. Yes I have asked both my Bishop and HPGL who they were, several times…I’m still waiting. I ended up asking my Bishop for the blessing, he ended up having his 1st and 2nd Con. do it because he was out of town. And I wasn’t really asking for a healing blessing, I was asking more for comfort. It was maddening and very disheartening for me, because I ended up basically having to beg for it.
so yes my desire is gone. It’s not the church, it’s humanity that I have given up on. I am working on getting it back. I read all sorts of inspirational things from the bible to buhddist stuff, I guess I have found that reading and studying up on the atonement is about all that helps me right now. My love of Christ and the Atonement are all that keeps me going now.
I have a friend who is a distant relation to the Fancher party, in fact her last name is Fancher. Used to work with her, and one day I asked her opinion of the story…and come to find out their version is a bunch different than ours. She said their story is they were passing through the area, trying to get to California. The Fancher had a race horse and some prise cows, all of which oh suddenly got stolen. So the men of the party went to see if they could get any justice…which wasn’t going to happen so they wanted to get out of Utah ASAP, cause they felt something bad was going to happen.
thing is she said there were two parties one that skipped Utah, which was mostly family members who weren’t sick or had young kids, they took the longer route and were going to meet up in either California or Arizona with the second party of Fanchers. The first party went through Utah because it was the weaker party, and didn’t want to face Indians, thought the Mormons would be helpful and less of a threat…guess they got that wrong. Plus she said they all knew it wasn’t the Indians and knew it probably had more to do with the race horse than anything.
She did say the family didn’t hold any hard feelings anymore towards the church, but she said most still think Brigham knew about what was going on.
I don’t think our Heavenly Father punishes us for not keeping the law of tithing…I think that sometimes we don’t recieve blessings from not paying it…and I say that skeptically because….I have always had a more easy life not paying than paying. I have no idea why, but when I am inactive my life runs 100% smoother, less money troubles, less stress levels, less worries, less heath care issues. I just assume as soon as I start to do the right thing, Satan decides to unleash on me. And sometimes I am more afraid of what he is going to do than what God is going to bless me with, so I opt to be inactive. Crazy thinkng there I know but sometimes thats how it feels to me. I had to bite my tongue today in RS. Apparently…two sets of earings will keep you out of the Celestial Kingdom…. Never mind beards, or tatoos or multiple piercings…just a measely two holes in each ear are big enough sins to get one kicked out forever.
🙄 Can someone, anyone, remind me what the Atonement was about….apparently I got it all wrong….
Cadence wrote:Dress codes are not so much about Godly things as much as making others comfortable to be around us. If someone shows up at church with a long beard, tattoos, and jeans everyone becomes uncomfortable. They may not say anything, and try to be polite but still members become very uncomfortable around such individuals. Getting everyone to conform makes it more comfortable for the leaders not to have to deal with the diversity.
And this is true. I have watched as members squirm when a ‘not the cookie cutter’ person walks in.
However, it also makes me laugh a little on the inside. If a long haired bearded man who had sandles and a robe walked in…what would happen. Throw on top of that the man had multiple piercings…yes I have to wonder if Christ walked into Sacrament with his long hair and beard in jeans would anyone recognize him or would they be uncomfortable with a long haired dude in jeans. I guess it’s just one of my hang ups, Mormons like to say they are children of God, but if that child comes in a different cover then they are not so much his children. Yet it was those lost children that Christ’s whole mission was about, because in the end we are all lost. He wasn’t hanging out with the clean shaven nicely dressed Pharisees and Sadducees, he hung out with Tax collectors and whores and sinners. meh. It just sticks in my craw that we judge on the outward instead of the heart, and sometimes we judge far too harshly…and don’t invite those who need Christ in, but make them feel unwelcome…and yet claim to be Christs Church.
I have to add that some of the most Christ like men, the most compassionate and caring and truly kind men have had long hair and beards. And some of the most terrible evil monsters I’ve known have been white shirt wearing, clean shaven, church going men. To me it just goes to show that we should not judge a book by its cover, ever.
Most of the time I feel like Alex in Job: A Comedy of Justice (yes I have read it). I pray for this..get something completely different. Or I pray for something and get exactly what I prayed for only to find out it was totally wrong. As for Priesthood blessings..I don’t even remember the last one I had, it’s been probably over 20 years ago. Even though I have asked on several occasions I am always told to contact my home teachers…which I’d do, if I knew who they were. And yes I have asked, and am going on 3 bishops now, who my home teachers are repeatedly. Meh I figure those blessings are for other people. Sorry to be such a downer but after years of trying and being in the midst of a health scare right now and having no one (even though I have asked) to step up and offer a blessing leaves me a bit blase to the whole Priesthood blessing thing. I look at it as if I can go 40 plus years with less than a hand full of blessing, why start now. Obviously I’m not supposed to have them for some reason.
Other forms of Spiritual Guidance always comes to me in forms at weird times. Last August when my house was broken into, the spirit told me to go in and secure my back door differntly…I was thinking well locked the locks what does that mean. The thought came into my head to secure it differntly in a different form and I countered myself again thinking the locks are locked. And the teenage boys that broke in actaully popped the locks from the outside ruining the frame completely. Had I listened at that time and did what I was thinking or was told they couldn’t have done that, and it was such an odd solution I know I never could have just randomly thought of it. I was totally inactive at the time and was not in tune with the spirit.
I’ve had a couple of other things happen too, but mostly its the Alex in the book stuff. I think sometimes I must be the court jester.
Strangely enough I find buhhdism and it’s teachings help me a great deal too.
I have to wonder if long haired beared men aren’t allowed in the temple….er…where does Christ go? Add to that he has several piercings (albeit none in his ears) This ‘rule’ drives me insane. And my biggest arguement isn’t the old chruch polymagous issues..but if Christ can wear long hair and beard and it’s ok..why different rules.
ok yes this is a hang up of mine.
and I have two tats…and I’ve been a member all my life. I’d get more if it weren’t such a big cultural issue.
I won’t even say what my uncles (now non-members) used to do the sacrament bread. I am so glad that I never had them prepare the sacrament for me…And lets just say hand cleaner would be a huge improvement. My one uncle still brags about how he’d go to the bathroom and not wash his hands on purpose, right before sacrament.
Yes they are bitter regarding the church, and it started when they were teens…they are all almost 70 now.
I went Sunday. Had a hard time in SM with one of the talks. The sister talked about the welfare program, and how it worked for about 2 minutes. Then went on to talk about how if people aren’t willing to work they shouldn’t be getting welfare at all…even if the person is handicapped and can’t work (they should still work was her point). Then she went on to talk about how evil the US welfare system was…for 10 minutes. The only doctrine used was bits and pieces she selectively used to make her point, missing the rest of the doctrine (i.e being self-sufficient and if a person is not self-sufficient then they are evil, but they skip the parts where it says to help the poor – Mosiah Chapter 3 comes to mind) And during this talk not once did she reference Bishop Burtons talk at all…just ignored what he said all together. She even went on to say that she felt only temple worthy members should be helped…at which point I had to just start reading scriptures to keep from yelling at her. However the Bishop was uneasy and talking to his councilors while she was talking and after the HC spoke the Bishop did get up and clarify some things (in a very polite way and as not to embarrass her) But this all said the lady I was sitting next to was just as upset with the talk as I was, she kept saying that’s not how its done, that’s not right under her breath the whole talk.
And to top it all off during SS the teacher started the class off by saying he was friends with an LDS senator who doesn’t like going to church anymore because he knows Democrats are considered bad. The teacher went on to say that no one should feel bad about their politics and shamed into not coming to church. The teacher is a former Bishop and on the HC…really wish they would move him up the ladder because he actually understands the ‘middle-way’ issues would rather sit and talk about issues than judge the questioner.
Anyway it was nice to see some action by the leadership on the bad talk for once.
If it’s an American institution, it only has been for the last 150 plus years…the rest of the last 5000-6000 years the church head quarters have been in the middle east. Ok seriously, yes most of the leadership is from the US. However I think it is starting to change,and will change due to the fact the majority of LDS members are not in the US. The church is currently headquatered in Utah, however, that can and probably will change in time. I think Dallin H. Oaks pretty much summed up the way I see members who think the Church is purely an American institution
Quote:Love of country is surely a strength, but carried to excess it can become the cause of spiritual downfall. There are some citizens whose patriotism is so intense and so all-consuming that it seems to override every other responsibility, including family and Church. I caution those patriots who are participating in or provisioning private armies and making private preparations for armed conflict. Their excessive zeal for one aspect of patriotism is causing them to risk spiritual downfall as they withdraw from the society of the Church and from the governance of those civil authorities to whom our 12th article of faith [A of F 1:12] makes all of us subject.
I think too often I see members who do place country over church, and do it in the name of the church. Just because the headquarters are located in this country doesn’t make America own the church.
I kept my kids going to church until they were about 18. I tried to instill all the morals and values in them from the time they were young. But after all that, and all the horrible experiences they had in ym/yw, at some point it was difficult to keep making them go to any ward in the church. When your kids come home from church in tears or angry keeping them going is difficult. So when they sat down and reasoned with me, in an adult mature way, why they couldn’t attend church anymore, I let them choose to do what they wanted. We all stopped going for a while, then my son moved out on his own 1600 miles away and attends chruch, but it isn’t the LDS church. My daughter is so hurt from her time in yw and they way the other girls treated her and angry with the culture of the church that she will probably never set foot in any chruch again. Its hard to teach kids the gospel and not have any support from leaders. I am not the only single mom who has gone through this before, most of the other single moms I know have had similar experiences with their kids. You’d think some one would notice that single parents need support not judgement, that the kids of single parents don’t need to be told since they aren’t ‘covenant’ they are not good enough, that they won’t be a family because of circumstances beyond their control. Yes, both my kids were told since their parents weren’t married in the temple they were not covenant therefore not good.
