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Sounds like it went as well as it could have and you have an amazing family. I’m sure over time the news will leak, but I don’t see that as a bad thing:) Welcome! And I agree, there is a third way…even if it’s harder then leaving which I think it is, but I’m new to all of this too;) It was my husband who was having doubts first and when he told me ” I don’t think the church is what it claims to be” my heart broke into a million pieces as he told me all he was thinking. I cried more in the following days then I ever had before. In most lds marriages it’s the faith that binds you two together, so the thought of that ” glue” being taken away is terrifying. Like others have said, just give it time. My husband gave me time to breathe and didn’t bring stuff up for awhile, that helped. your wife’s pain may not ever go away completely, but it can change and she will start to learn how to handle it and live with it.
None of this stuff is easy or fair, and none of us asked for it, not the one having the crisis or the spouse.
This is great, I’ll have to head over and read it. I’m always looking for a good source that comes off as “pro” and won’t freak out tbms. You guys All have good points, we just need to support her in this no matter how it turns out. It’s just hard seeing someone you love wanting to go in a mission only out of fear, fear of never getting married if she doesn’t. This was a great read! I have been on both sides, I hate to admit I was once the person judging my SIL as she walked out of the temple in her wedding dress that she obviously had to tuck her Gs in at the sleeve, as it was basically sleeveless. I’ve apologized to her since my faith crisis, but I still feel like an idiot I ever Judged her and that I ever thought it was ok to judge her based on that. And now I’m on the other side, I see people garment checking me… life is funny like that. Only you know what’s best for you, no amount of priesthood can tell you otherwise. hang in there and follow your gut… hawkgrrrl wrote:
What I’m excited about is the potential for budget parity, which is something our local ward tries hard to achieve anyway, but it’s nearly impossible with the scout fees today. It’s a racket. Girls should be able to do high adventure stuff, too. There’s really not a good reason they can’t, except that it’s so doggone expensive to keep paying the dues in scouting. Just going on it without those dues is much more affordable.
Totally agree on this one. Hopefully there is now room to give the same attention to activities for both YW/YM
For a ward to be so bothered by the age of men in attendance to an activity is bothersome. Especially if they know he already might feel excluded to some degree. This situation sucks and sorry you and your husband has to deal with it! update: we met with our Bishop today and it went as planned. He seemed exhausted like always and seeing him in that large chair behind his desk looking like he could use a nap, I became grateful that will never be my husband now. we told him that we no longer believe all that is taught at church but will continue to attend and participate as we see fit. He didn’t ask and again said he didn’t want to know, but said if we had any questions he would try and help us. He must know that we have been opening up to people in the ward, because at the end of the meeting he asked if we knew anyone else in the ward that was having doubts. Even if we did he must have known we were going to say no.
