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I just read this and thought it applied. http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/2335798-155/op-ed-think-seminary-teachers-before-acceding Wow. That’s quite the lesson. I couldn’t teach that, but I do like the idea of reading the essays, or at the very least giving them the assignment to read them with their parents is a good idea. The polygamy lesson in seminary is one of the few that I remember clearly. I think that is because it just didn’t feel right. It was confusing. I didn’t question it because I didn’t think I could question anything. When we were leaving the seminary building I remember overhearing another student asking our teacher if Joseph Smith practiced polygamy (of course this wasn’t mentioned in the lesson and was actually framed like Joseph received the revelation, but it was other people who practiced it after he died). My seminary teacher responded, “Yes. Where did hear that?” All of that combined with the fact that during the lesson my teacher had a rant against feminists and in support of patriarchy (eye opening, and perplexing as a teenage girl).
I didn’t think about it much until later when I started learning more about polygamy. It was actually helpful for me to have known about Joseph Smith being a polygamist. That incident was the only time I ever heard about Joseph being a polygamist. I already was feeling very betrayed by the church, but I think it would have been even worse had I not previously even known he practiced polygamy. It was also helpful to be able to recall the strong feeling that something was wrong from that seminary lesson as I was trying to sort it out later. It was like an added witness against it.
If it were me, I would feel the obligation to at least give the kids the facts. I would also probably say something to the effect that there are lots of good members who don’t believe in it and if it doesn’t sit well with them not to worry about it. It was messy and it was painful. At the same time, the people practicing it believed it was a commandment and I honor that sacrifice (because how horrendous!) I also might consider spending the class time teaching a lesson about recognizing the spirit and how it communicates truth and how to recognize if something isn’t truth. I would use Moroni’s promise, D&C 9, and the section about recognizing the spirit from Preach My Gospel (there is a great quiz where you can go through each of the ways the spirit communicates and write down your own experiences with each one)… and then after that uplifting lesson either going over the essays together or sending them home to read with their parents and letting them know that they’re welcome to discuss the next day in class or to talk to you about it.
Thanks Mom3, I love the story with your neighbor. This post was what I needed to hear today. Forgiveness is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I have been yearning to be able to forgive. I want peace again after this crazy faith crisis! I happened across a book lately that is giving me hope of getting there. It’s called Forgiveness: A Bold Choice for a Peaceful Heart by Robin Casarjian. I’m only about 30 pages in, but it has been insightful. I usually read a few pages at a time and then think over what I’ve read. I wanted to share a quote which has given me a new view of forgiveness. It says: “Forgiveness is a decision to see beyond the limits of another’s personality. It is the decision to see beyond fears, idiosyncrasies, neuroses, and mistakes- to see a pure essence, unconditioned by personal history, that has limitless potential and is always worthy of respect and love. Forgiveness is a choice to “see the light instead of the lampshade,” … Actually, when forgiving, you may indeed see the lampshade (fear-based or conditioned identities), but you see it in the context of the light that illuminates the inner core of each of us.”
I like this perspective. For me, I know I’m never going to be OK with polygamy or the ways it was practiced in the early church and it will probably always make my heart grieve a little (and if I’m perfectly honest, give me the urge to break someone’s nose
:problem: ). However, I think and have hope that I can get to the point at which I can look beyond the “lampshade” of some of the early leaders of the church and instead see the light/the spark of divine within. I love this view of forgiveness because I can get there without condoning their actions. I can get there without the unconditional trust I once held in church leaders. And by adopting that new view I can be a much more loving person. I’m clearly not there, but I’m working on it. Forgiveness is a process and I suspect I’ll have to choose it over and over and OVER again until it sticks.
I also recently listened to Chieko Okazaki’s talk entitled “Healing From Sexual Abuse” found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rs4XJURtSug . Near the end she says something to the effect of forgiving too quickly can keep you from working through what happened and fully healing. I thought that concept applies to a faith crisis as well. My faith crisis started about a year ago and I have needed and benefited from this time to process and grieve and I think I would have shortchanged my growth had I been able to put away my the feelings and pain earlier.
