[AYdUbYA]

Hi GTB, your post really struck a chord with me.

I too have gone through a similar experience in the last 1-2 years. It began when Mitt Romney was running for president and the whole country was having a “national discussion about Mormonism”. I began to read and hear things I had never heard before regarding our history. Many of the subjects were deeply troubling to me. I was determined to defend the church from what I viewed as baseless attacks.

I read Richard Bushman’s Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling because I saw it as a trusted source of information. Bushman has no axe to grind, and if he was biased at all he would be in favor of the church. Initially I only had one or two topics I was troubled about, but after reading the book I was overwhelmed with so many things I had issues with. I read lots of papers from apologists in FARMS articles and FAIR LDS, but like you said, the facts speak for themselves.

About your wife.

The most tragic thing about this process is how it can tear families apart. I was listening to a Christian radio station recently and a Catholic father was calling in to ask the show host for advice about how to maintain good relations with his Protestant son. He said they couldn’t agree on anything and their relationship was suffering. I thought how stupid to allow religion to come between the most important relationships in our lives.

I really hope you can work through this with your wife. Your marriage and your children are more important than anything in this world. Have you tried to read through a book like Rough Stone Rolling with your wife? That may help. If anything, perhaps she can come to understand where your doubts are coming from. She may not agree, and may continue to believe as she does now, but she may be able to understand you at least. Have you shared your feelings with her like you have in this forum? Whatever you do, do not give up!

In the end, this may be a matter of compromise. You cannot live a traditional LDS lifestyle any longer. Your wife may not be able to live without the church, but together you may be able to agree on a middle ground. Maybe her feelings have to do with letting go of a set of values more than the church itself. If you agree to reinforce those values in your home maybe she won’t feel so worried.

Also, what of your friend James? Have you told him how you feel about your friendship? Have you apologized to him? Maybe you could ask him for help.

Best of luck to you.

AW

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