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LookingHard wrote:
az – in reading your post I was thinking, “wow- meeting with the family and having such a good discussion. This guy is doing it right.
Thank you for your kind words. My wife wasn’t coming to church with us, so if we were all going to get any kind of spiritual development together, that was the only way it was going to happen. I felt like we all got more out of that 10 minute discussion than we did of a three hour block.Hi everyone, I wanted to follow up and give you some more information on this situation. If you’ve been following my other thread, you will have noticed that we just moved into a new ward. I took the opportunity to go meet with my new bishop last night. I opened up to him a bit about my thoughts and feelings. I told him I have lots of doubts, but that I am doing my best to stay in the church. He did a lot of listening, which was really nice. He really seems like a decent human being, and it was really nice to be able to just open up to him. One of the things that I brought up with him was this Sunday School lesson. I mentioned that the teacher had made some statements that could be construed as suggesting that the Orlando shooting happened because God was punishing Gay people. He shared with me some details that helped me to understand that this is very likely not what the instructor was actually trying to say at all.
It made me think a bit, and realize that many of us will often project our own thoughts, feelings and emotions on to a situation, or ambiguous statement. It helped me realize that I am sometimes judgmental of other people, and that I have been projecting my own insecurities on to various situations and ideas.
I love the Job analogy! I’ll have to keep that one in my back pocket for future reference. The difficult part in this particular case was trying to find the right timing to interject a comment, while simultaneously trying to figure out exactly what the ambiguous statements she was making meant.
I have another update here. Our new bishopric came by to visit us tonight. It was a very pleasant social visit. My wife conveniently stepped had some ‘errands’ to run while they came over. (just to be clear, this means she just left because she didn’t want to meet with them) While the bishopric was in our house, the EQ president knocked on the door and gave us a plate of cookies. My wife also said that the RS presidency was trying to set up a time to come and visit her. So much for flying under the radar. 😯 During the visit (which lasted about 45 minutes), the bishop did ask about previous callings and stated that he wanted to ‘put us to work’. I know many here have recommended trying to ‘lie low’, but that just isn’t working. The biggest problem I have is that I just love to talk to everyone. I fly under the radar about as well as a 747 on a clear day. I did set up a one-on-one meeting with the bishop. I am planning on giving him a very small dose of where our family is at and letting him know the activity level that we are comfortable with right now. That meeting is supposed to take place next week.
I’ll post an update next week on how it goes.
Ray, thanks so much for your comments. What made it so challenging was that it was so ambiguous. I AM putting words in her mouth here on this board, but I don’t feel too bad because no one knows here and this is (psuedo) anonymous. In reality she was tiptoeing around it, and didn’t come out and say anything directly, but the fact that my wife and I both came to the same conclusion means that others were likely thinking the same thing. I like both your answers. The trouble I was having was that the statements were so veiled that I am not completely confident that this was what she was really getting at. So, at the same time, I was trying to decide what she was actually trying to say, and trying to think of something halfway intelligent to comment. SilentDawning wrote:One thing I am every interested in is whether I will be able to teach with the spirit again. I have two strikes against me. One, my commitment and faith is very weak right now, as well as my personal righteousness since I do not hold a TR. Second, I will not be set apart in the calling. Traditional believers would say I would not have the priesthood blessing associated with being set apart.
You’ve got the Gift of the Holy Ghost and the Light of Christ. You’ll be fine!
Next update – My wife came to church on Father’s day with me. This was our second time attending the new ward. For those who don’t know, I am the more ‘believing’ spouse in our marriage. Sacrament meeting was OK. We had some pretty good talks about how men can, and need, to be roll models for children. A sister that is part of a blended family spoke about how her husband really bonded with her sons after they were married. Then we went to SS. It was atrocious. In the two weeks we have been there, we have heard two of the three gospel doctrine teachers. Both of them have basically given hell-fire and damnation sermons. I am not sure if it’s them, or if it’s the material. We’ve covered the first ~10 chapters of Alma. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to get my wife to come to SS with me again as long as this lady is teaching. The bishop cam in about halfway through the lesson. He attempted to temper the hardcore lesson a little, but the SS teacher didn’t miss a beat, thanked him for his comment, then jumped right back into her theme of, “It’s the Mormons vs. the whole world, and they’re all going to hell-in-a-hand-basket.”
The silver lining here is that it was a really great Father’s day. We spent a lot of time with family, I ate WAY too much food, and I got two quality naps in.
Old Timer wrote:Seriously, most members I know would rather interact with a nice less-/inactive member than a fully active, self-righteous prick – even if they won’t admit it in church.
I’ll admit that I am biased, but I do think my wife is a pretty awesome person to be around.
Well, I’m from Arizona, but then again, I do make that pretty obvious. For the most part, I am OK with anyone knowing what I write here, even my family (i.e. mom, dad, siblings…), but I won’t advertise it. Unsure, PM me if you are interested in getting together in person.
hawkgrrrl wrote:I envy your wife. Are you still in AZ? It’s insanely hot right now.
Yes, we moved all the way from Gilbert to Queen Creek.Meanwhile, I sit in an air conditioned office at work where I have to wear a winter coat because the AC is blasting all the time.
#firstworldproblems
I have a new update! So it turns out the Primary President came by my house to see my wife today. She had tried to call before she came by, but my wife took her number off LDS tools, so she called me instead. I didn’t answer since I was at work. When they showed up, my wife was wearing a tank top, and her cross necklace. She also has three piercings in one ear and two in the other. The primary president was there to introduce herself and her counselor and let my wife know about various upcoming activities. My wife has held numerous primary callings and been a member her whole life, but the PP and her counselor seemed confuses because of my wife’s apparent non-mormon dress and attire. She said they kept explaining what a primary spotlight was and how cub scouts worked.
My wife and I are mostly chuckling about this together. I kind of feel bad for the PP and her counselor. I wish it was OK for someone in my wife’s position to just tell them, “Oh, I’m just a semi-active non-believing cultural mormon, don’t mind the tank top and piercings. I still want my kids to come and participate and am fully aware of how everything works!” and say all of that with a big smile on her face. Instead we have this passive aggressive dance that everyone participates in.
Our first day at church was June 5th. My daughter’s birthday was two days later (she turned 13). The beehives showed up to ‘heart attack’ our front door. This ward appears to be very ‘on top’ of things. My daughters really love church, so this is probably a good thing. I looked up our ward in the lds map tool. 33% of the houses in the ward boundaries are member households. The ward is only 1/4 mile square (1/2 mile x 1/2 mile).
And I got a call from the primary president today. She probably would have called my wife, but she took all of her contact information off LDS tools.
