[BJE]

To apologize admits a wrongdoing. So I guess no apologies means no wrongdoing.

What if I were to tell my bishop that some of the things I have done (sins I have committed) have been counterproductive to what I want to accomplish but I look foreword not backwards?

[BJE]

For me the gospel topic essay Race and the Priesthood really got me thinking. If something that was preached from the pulpit as doctrine for more than a hundred years can suddenly be called opinions of men based on the culture of the day and not doctrine, what taught now as doctrine will in the future be called opinions of men based on the culture of the day?

The children of gay parents policy was “revelation” when it came out a few years ago. Now the reversal of the policy is “revelation”.

Mistakes are never made and the church doesn’t apologize.

To quote an article from the Salt Lake Tribune in regards to a statement from Dallin H Oaks;

“I know that the history of the church is not to seek apologies or to give them,” Oaks said in an interview Tuesday. “We sometimes look back on issues and say, ‘Maybe that was counterproductive for what we wish to achieve,’ but we look forward and not backward.”

The church doesn’t “seek apologies,” he said, “and we don’t give them.”

[BJE]

Minyan Man wrote:

BJE wrote:

…I could have refused to answer the question and ended the interview but then I wouldn’t have been ordained a high priest either. However I’d like to confront him on the topic of asking that question.

What are we doing as a Church when we know leadership is by passing policy & guidelines and the membership is left with the choice of lying, rationalizing or walking out of an interview? Personally I would rather not be ordained than live with the lie. I wonder if they ask a perspective

Apostle, 70 or SP about masterbation? And if they did, what would their response be? Silly, I know.

Well, I didn’t lie to the stake president. I had already discussed the issue with my bishop. I brought it up not him, and after we had discussed it he told me there was no need to discuss it again with the stake president. However since the SP brought it up I took the opportunity to ask his definition of M. He said it was doing anything that was self stimulating. I asked whether or not it was okay to do during relations with a spouse. He thought for a minute and said “I guess that would be up to you”.

I believe members should call out leaders who deviate from the guidelines but since the guidelines are essentially a secret most members would never know what the guidelines are and likely wouldn’t question any inappropriate line of questioning.

I am an assistant stake clerk and I get invited to meetings with the stake presidency and the visiting general authority. I’ve been tempted to ask the GA during one of these meetings how the church leadership feels about M but I haven’t had the nerve.

[BJE]

DarkJedi wrote:

BJE wrote:

If he will interrogate a 52 year old married man about masturbation I can imagine how he must grill young men about masturbation who are preparing for missions. I can also imagine how he would advise bishops in our stake to handle the issue.

Regardless of how it may be handled in other areas I can say that in my stake asking specifically about masturbation is alive and well.

I’m just curious if you know this to be the case for youngsters (teens and/or those being interviewed for missions). Just like there are rogues with the TR questions, I’m sure there are rogues with the missionary interview questions. The missionary interview questions do leave an opening for masturbation if the answer to the question “What do you understand about the law of chastity?” includes masturbation or if the interviewer does not get the answer he expects about masturbation being included. Personally I think the best answer to the question is “That I have no sexual relations with anyone to whom I am not legally and lawfully wedded,” but of course most being interviewed for missionary service have likely not heard that exact wording (although Elder Bednar affirms we can certainly teach that to our kids).

As far as my stake president is concerned, if he won’t allow a middle aged man to be ordained a high priest if they masturbate it seems highly likely that he wouldn’t allow a young man to be ordained an elder or go on a mission without “overcoming” it first.

Your definition of the law of chastity is what I covenanted to obey and I can say I’ve never had a sexual relation with anyone besides my wife. I’m curious where I might find what you refer to that Elder Bednar said?

[BJE]

Minyan Man wrote:

I am curious. I didn’t grow up in the Church. As an adult, no one ever as me, in an official church capacity, about masturbation.

Or, anything remotely this personal. Has anyone on this forum ever said:

Quote:

this topic is between me and God.

Then said:

Quote:

this interview is over.

Is there nothing sacred in a church interview? I know there are policies & guidelines for interviews. My personal opinion is:

when a deviation like this occurs we not only have the right but the obligation & responsibility to say, this isn’t right or you’re wrong

& I am not going to answer your question. (My blood pressure just went up. Sorry.) This should be taught to our children too.

I’m curious if anyone has ever done this?

I could have refused to answer the question and ended the interview but then I wouldn’t have been ordained a high priest either. However I’d like to confront him on the topic of asking that question.

[BJE]

amateurparent wrote:

I never had a bishop or church leader ask me anything beyond “Do you keep the LoC”. I was never asked if I had touched myself. I was never asked about mastrubation.

I know this is an old thread but I wanted to say that as a youth in the 1970’s it was drilled into us that masturbation is a sexual sin and sexual sins are next to murder. We were also given the To Young Men Only pamphlet and asked about masturbation. If I remember right I lied about it until I was preparing for my mission when I came clean about it. I was wracked with guilt over my infrequent masturbation all through my teen years.

Fast forward to the end of 2016. I was 52 years old and was interviewed to be ordained a high priest. My stake president asked me right out if I masturbate. I told him that I hadn’t been asked that since I was a teenager. He said that in a temple recommend interview he wouldn’t ask but since he is the president of the high priest quorum it was his “duty” to see that no man who masturbates is ordained a high priest.

I’ll mention that the questions for Melchizedek priesthood ordination are essentially the same as those for a temple recommend. Therefore he deviated from the standard questions by asking specifically about masturbation and also about whether I view pornography.

If he will interrogate a 52 year old married man about masturbation I can imagine how he must grill young men about masturbation who are preparing for missions. I can also imagine how he would advise bishops in our stake to handle the issue.

Regardless of how it may be handled in other areas I can say that in my stake asking specifically about masturbation is alive and well.

[Author]

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