Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I have been moving between these points myself. And I really like drawing the distinction between the intellect and the spirit. One of my biggest problem with any group with which a person may associate (religion, politics, gender preference, or sexual orientation) is when that is ALL they are. Example – I don’t have a problem supporting my gay friends. They are wonderful, kind people. But when a person is solely defined by his or her sexual preference, I have a problem. The same goes for church. It is possible to be LDS and also have thoughts/desires/feelings that are outside of that realm. If all you are is “Mormon,” we’re not going to get along. People are dynamic and complicated. They *SHOULD NOT* define themselves by using a small part of what makes them who they are (think of synecdoche).
It is, in my opinion, fine to accept doubt as a part of knowledge acquisition and personal growth.
And
DancingCarrot wrote:However, I can’t be fully either one of them since I am always both of them. The reason why agnosticism seems so cold and empty to me, and perhaps others, is because I am only paying attention to one side of me. It’s not that the two sides of me must be pitted against each other and one must win, but to incorporate and learn from both and use both. Yin and yang if you will. Both are necessary.
I would turn you to Robert Louis Stevenson (one of my favorite authors) and this passage from the end of
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: “I learned to recognise the thorough and primitive duality of man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said to be either, it was only because I was radically both” (Emphasis added by me). I’m new here, but here’s why I want to stay and why it’s hard. I was born and raised in the church. I served a Mission in Brazil, got home, and went less-active for a few years until I went full inactive. Even growing up I always felt some disconnect between who the church told me I had to be and who I felt like I was at heart. I left because I got sick of the Jekyll/Hyde feeling. I was never comfortable as a member. I left the church. After a few tattoos and living the life of a sinner, I had indulged my Hyde side and noticed that I was more at peace with myself. I didn’t feel the disconnect. I also considered myself an agnostic during this time. I wasn’t sure if there was a god, but I believed there could be. One day I woke up and said “I’m going to church in the morning.” I was going to go to church for me, not for anyone else. That is what made all the difference.
I came back, but I came back on my terms. It’s hard to explain what all that entails, but this site gets it. There are things I do not agree with, but I like believing there is a god and that He loves me. I put up with the things I do not agree with in order to feel fulfilled in the spiritual part of my life. I don’t know (nor can I know) that there is a god, but I believe there is.
As for why it’s hard: Because many members do not know or study their religion. They may read the scriptures, but they do not study the doctrine or gospel. They say and claim things as doctrine that are tradition but not true or right. It’s exhausting to hear people talking about things they do not know. Many of the “beliefs” I hear professed on Sunday are not doctrine and/or may perpetuate some of the problems I have with the people and commonly held beliefs of the “church.” I tend to think the teachings of the church is true, but the practice is where people fail. That makes it hard for me. That is not to mention the blind faith people have. I am an academic by profession and know the benefit in a healthy dose of skepticism. I believe people should study and find and learn, not hear from a pulpit and spew back as Truth. I StayLDS because I find it comforting to believe in a god and church helps me build a good relationship with him.
