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Forgotten charity, I had to be amused that you found English and Scottish people nice…if it was in the US they will have been on best behaviour…! However, it is a well known fact that the Scots do not like the English. The English do not dislike the Scots….for instance if Scotland plays France at football world cup….England will support Scotland….but! if Engand played France in the football Scotland would support France…they have a saying ‘AOBE’ ( anyone but England).
🙄 I agree that it takes two to make something work…the relationship with my ward is toxic. There is no other way to describe it. We are at stalemate. I have gone back so many times….and nothing changes each time it just gets worse…and of course if you disappear for a while ( even for a vacation), they hold it against you.
I cannot win and it is not worth my health. I am very strong willed. I do not suffer fools. I am not the person I was when I began attending this ward. Working in education as I do these days, held you find yourself, and so I am less tolerant of the behaviours.I also am very informed about legislation, and have in no uncertain terms made it clear to leaders that some of their behaviours are actually in breech of UK law…if I chose to ( and I don’t) I could take the to court, for discrimination under the new Equality act 2010. Stake president did not like that after all his ‘discrimination’ was from God
:crazy: So I said he might care if he got a law suit in his lap! Yes. It is toxic. There are no local wards I can attend. Edinburgh is a different stake but its difficult to get to and I could not do the travel and stay 3 hrs. Besides, all of the angst has now caused me to have some doubts about the church…and I am not sure where I stand. My family in Australia are angry and have said that the leaders have placed a spiritual stumbling block in my path.
Welcome! I am new to the site to . We all come with many questions some of us have different queries from others.If you want to look at alternative science I can recommend this magazine either online or subscription. I am a life scientist and a creationist…there is plenty of evidence for many of the theories scientists like to claim are fact. It is enlightening to see an alternative viewpoint.Any way below is the web address you may enjoy some of the articles. I know I have 
Keepswimmin, I understand what you are saying about the keeping of certain tenets of the church and forgetting the others…I call this ‘ dotting the I s and crossing the T s’ because they do all the scripture study family study FHE WOW tithe sabbath keeping and have not charity. They judge and condemn often for things outwith the control of the victims themselves.
My own ward was no exception and I began to give then a name too ‘ the all is well in Zion Brigade’…however all was very definitely not well in zion.
Thankyou Mike. I acknowledge anger is poison. I busy my life with lots of things other than church…if we lived in another country i.e. Australia with my son I would likely be active regardless of issues I have with church doctrine etc. I have already discovered that down under they have a lot of respect for my son, who is very much active a successful RM and now married and has a stake calling aged 25 yrs old ( that would never have happened in Scotland). When I visited his ward last year I felt how much they loved him and consequently I was also treated in the most wonderful way that I was alarmed by it! As it is I cannot, will not be active as long as I live in Scotland and hope one day I may be able to emigrate though at president it is not possible. I keep myself apart from all but two members in the current ward and one is English and has also encountered racism. I think I would like to have a picture of the volatile sister’s background…is she married to a member /non member…is she a single mum or a divorced mum..all this can have bearing on her behaviour to some extent, depending on how your ward treats its members by marital status… she may have gotten passed herself and now be plain defensive and volatile with everyone if her experiences have not been good…on the other hand she might well have mental health issues…i At present I am still to plain angry with them…and insensed that a stake president to could literally scream falls accusations at me and since he had allegedly been a good friend ( one of very few) I was in disbelief…he knew he was lying, knew fine well…it was at this point I said ‘by their fruits they shall be known’ this cannot be the true church…my born again Christian extended family are concerned I cannot let go and cannot forgive and am becoming bitter…my answer is simply…i am aware of it..but I cannot let go…and I am angry and I am bitter…it is what it is….and at present I enjoy taking pops at them and laughing at they ignorance at their expense…the harsh reality for them is…in my expertise…as my mother said ‘they will need you before you need them’…and with all the mental health issues that ward has…in addition to illnesses in general and social problems…my mother is probably right….and the dumb thing is I am likely to help….because service is what I do in our out of the church…charity is the pure love of Christ….having said that if my dog was drowning in the same pool as the stake president I know which one I would save! Thankyou to everyones kind replies. I always felt that my own talents were either abused, or not used to their full potential. I was not challenged. I did help produced musicals and train voices…as a classically trained singer. But I am professionally from a nursing background and work as a lecturer in health and social care. SO I have teaching skills, leadership skills and skills in working with those who need problem solving skills . Unofficially I often solved social problems that welfare meetings had tossed around for years but did nothing about…nurses are good at that!But I was not officially good enough to them . I think working for six years in tertiary and higher education helped me find myself…I am of course a life sciences professional so it was going to happen! When I saw the light I fought back..they did not like it…mind you when I left….I said I would not go quietly and I haven’t I have my ways of having digs at them. hawkgrrrl wrote:Glad to have you aboard.
Quote:we are terrified of the culture that we have had to resist, which is sometimes quite damaging to ambitious women and the men that support them
FWIW, my own experience has been that as a female executive (20+ years at it), I find that I am respected and listened to. I’m not generally given time-consuming callings because I have always traveled a lot for work. What I did find, though, was that when we lived in lower educated wards, I simply couldn’t relate to any of the women. So anti-intellectualism has been harder (for me) than whether women had ambitions outside the home or not. It was more about whether they picked up a book and actually had interesting thoughts.”
I understand this. I am a feminist and a scientist and I work in further and higher education of life sciences ( health and social care in the main)…and I find if I made comment in Sunday School, it went over heads and I was looked at like I was nuts…or teaching said nothing and went on to someone else…or…my raised hand was ignored ( more often than not). Yet we had our fair share of school teachers male and female and other academics but they only seems expert in the one field no articulation. I found this puzzling.
I admire Johns openness. I share some of his concerns, others I am not sure about, and then I have my own issues regarding the stereotyping that goes on. I loved the survey he was involved in and the lecture he gave on why people leave, I sent it to my son who thought it was fantastic.I tend to speak my mind regarding my doubts and I am not afraid of what people I know in church think..they made it clear they did not want my family from the beginning.And after all people can change their minds as many times as the please…it really isn’t anyone else’s concerns and many members will judge you regardless so hey ho…. I love one of Oprahs sayings…you only do what you know..and when you know better you do better…so when we get some transparency ( and it is begging- at least I think)…we can deal with it far better in the open.
