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I think you should try to be an example to the kids. Even if you have doubts, it doesn’t mean that you can’t teach them about being kind, values of service, valuing family. And have fun. Don’t go over-the-top with it, have fun. I think it sets a bad example to do too much with it and ignore your family. Teach them healthy time limits on a calling. In RS, we had a pres. who worked full time and had 7 kids. She was the best RS pres., because she was sweet, humble, and did all that she could. She was not overbearing and excessive like some women in leadership callings can be. She did not laminate magnets for every lesson or make crazy centerpieces for RS or nag people. She was just simple and sweet. I had a favorite gospel doctrine teacher who cheated on his wife and embezzled from his company, and was subsequently excommunicated. It did not affect my testimony. He still was the best GD teacher. At the time, I was shocked and couldn’t believe he was excommunicated. Now, I still think what he did was inexcusable, but I view him with a different light. Maybe if he had just left the church, he wouldn’t have felt so trapped and gone as far as he did. I honestly think he was a decent guy, who knows what pushed him over the edge.
by creating a personal focus of my own that I pursue as my primary spiritual objective independent of what I gain individually from church meetings.Thank you for posting that. Great. Maybe I would enjoy church more if I had spiritual goals. When I was in the singles ward, I had a goal of making church about my relationship with Christ, and doing what Christ would have me really do, and not worry about what anyone in the congregation was thinking of me.
I am going to really try to refocus on that. Other things to work on: humility, not focusing on the negative (which is a double negative!), trying to find humor and joy, not letting things get me upset.
