Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi Beth, Thanks for sharing your story with us. This forum is fantastic!! I have found it a great place to speak honestly about my feelings and hear some great encouragement. I hope you enjoy your time here!!
CG
AMEN!!!! I feel like I could have written your post just a few weeks ago when I attended Stake Conference. I agree that truth will withstand all our questions and while we must live with uncertainty now, eventually we will understand. I tried going back into “the box” after Stake Conference and found myself in the depths of despair, seriously, and after a day or two of that I have come to the conclusion that going back just isn’t possible for me. I’m out and now I get to experience life with a new set of eyes. Limbo is challenging but I don’t think we are stagnant, we are just in the process of deconstructing our beliefs and rebuilding them into something stronger and more meaningful to us. It is an exciting process. Isn’t it nice to have a place like Staylds where we can share our experiences without feeling judged. CG
I miss him too. Wonder how things are going for him and jwald? Canadians don’t celebrate Memorial Day, we have Remembrance Day Nov. 11 so enjoy your long weekend. CG
Thanks for sharing this. You put words to my experience. I noticed the other day as I walked around my little town in the middle of the afternoon and spoke with a variety of people that I was starting to get how to “be” with each person and that the ability to talk each persons language was very important. Like you said, it is more difficult as a hidden immigrant because you can’t tell where a person is on the belief spectrum just by looking at them. I suppose that is why I start out guarded in a conversation and then slowly relax as I take in information and process just how open I can be with a person. In one instance I felt a little deceptive having to speak the language. It felt natural and yet also a bit dishonest. I think that the dishonest feeling puts me on the defense and more likely to experience the negative benefit of more prejudice. CG
Just walking around my little town yesterday afternoon, I was met with all sorts of little events like the ones you’ve described. It’s funny, but now instead of getting all worked up (Oh I still get worked up but ….) I seem to talk myself down a bit and try to understand where the people are coming from. It seems that most people are not “blessed” with this “trial”. You will always have a good place vent here. And doesn’t it feel great to know that there are others out there who feel similarly. Compassion and love are our biggest lessons to learn as we walk this journey. AND BOY DO WE GET LOTS OF CHANCES TO PRACTICE!! You could also try xanax. (I’m joking only a little….
😆 )Candlelight25, I want to welcome you to this site. There are some great threads you can read and some very wise people here to help. I don’t have any advice to give you other than to second the advice your father gave. Listen to your heart. You are on a grand learning journey, one that leads us to see more vibrant color and understand things with less clarity but more truth. I didn’t serve a mission but I do have a son who will be mission age in 4 years so I’m interested in what others have to say in regards to your question. My dh and I have discussed missions and our encouragement of them at length and we have come to the common conclusion that a mission or something like it, is an important part of learning to be an adult. If my sons choose to go and can jump the bar we will support them (I will be preparing them for what they might learn in regards to church history etc beforehand) if they can’t jump the bar we will encourage time far away doing some form of service etc so that they can experience the world in all of its diversity and paradox before they start families. That is where we stand now. I hope to hear a lot from you.
Canadian Girl
Brown, I sympathize. Today I played Anthropologist and that really helped. I marvelled at how our church does things and how people react etc. I actually enjoyed listening to the new primary presidency express their love for the children and bare testimony. I saw the stories of the aaronic priesthood restoration as great tribal stories. One thing that I found interesting today was that in SM the HC read a letter from our stake president asking the membership to refrain from wearing strong perfumes and lotions so that those who are sensitive to those things would be able to attend meetings and feel comfortable. I hoped that one day we might hear a similar letter expressing how important it was for members to allow “cafeteria mormons” to feel comfortable at church as well. Seems like your experience today shows us that this will be a long time coming.
The angst I feel at church ebbs and flows. Today not so bad next week…..?
CG
I’m very sad cwald 😥 but I respect you and understand why you are making this decision. I really do hope that you don’t become lost to us. I’ve really come to cherish your thoughts.May you, jwald and family be blessed in whatever thing you stand in need of,
CG
I’ve been following this thread and feeling a range of emotions. My strongest emotion is compassion and empathy for cwald, jwald and their family. My heart goes out to all of you. I really do hope there is a silver lining around this. I can’t express strongly enough how important this site has been to my faith journey. It has provided me with support when I didn’t have ANYONE I could share my thoughts, feelings and questions with. I live in a predominantly LDS community where I’m sure it is better to be an inactive cigarette smoking mormon than one who doubts or questions the church and holds 3 callings. I have especially appreciated cwalds comments and advice and because of his example and others in this community I work very hard at stayingLDS. I understand that most LDS that “know” the church is “true” and would defend it with their lives will have a very difficult time understanding where I’m at. (2 years ago I would have too) But I’m really hoping that Covey’s 5th habit will help them through. Seek to understand us. Most of us didn’t go looking for a change in our worldview, it just fell into our laps and now we are trying our very best to navigate a journey not very many LDS have ever admitted to or written about. I feel very blessed to live in a time where I can find this support on the internet and I really hope we will always feel free to be supported in this way.
CG
Welcome!!!! This is such a tough position to be in. (I know, I’m living it too) I just listened to an extremely helpful podcast on Mormonstories.org that might help you put things into perspective. Dr. David Christian speaks to the difference between validity (its true) and utility (its useful, it works). In your post you talk about how the church is useful in raising children who have good values etc. (I would argue that in some ways but I do understand what you are talking about) So you must weigh for yourself whether it is more important for the church to be valid or useful and can you be in the church on your own terms and have it work well for you. I highly recommend listening to the podcast. Well worth the 90 minutes. CG
That was lovely to read Ray. Thanks for sharing. I had 2 good moments at church today. The talks in Sacrament meeting were on service and the first speaker told about a little game they play as a family at the dinner table called “Apples and Onions”. The game asks each person to tell about the apples of their day (happy, joyful events) and the onions (sad, hurtful things) that happened. The speaker said that the game gave the family members ample opportunities to serve their family members because they became aware of their needs. Good idea I thought. The second moment came at the end of the second speakers talk. He had been quoting Henry B Erying a bunch and a lot of his quotes really bothered me because they emphasized not letting a feeling of being overwhelmed stop us from serving in the church but that aside he ended the talk with a story from his youth. He was a farm hand and on one particular day of harvesting his employer’s son was killed in a car accident and they asked him to go and identify the body. The body was really beat up from the accident and it was a very difficult thing for him to do. After this he went back to his work, driving the combine and harvesting the grain. The day seemed to drag on and it was after midnight when the darkness was really getting to him and the events of the day were weighing heavily on his mind but he knew he had to finish the field. He decided to say a prayer and within minutes he saw bright lights begin to come across the field. He was disoriented at first but realized that he was seeing 6 combines coming to help him finish the harvesting. The neighboring farmers were coming to the rescue and he felt extremely grateful and loved. I choked up during that story. I think I actually felt the spirit of love, compassion, and kindness as he told that story. That was delightful. I love the story about the high priest grabbing the little girl and passing the sacrament. Priceless and so Christlike. And yes Fontaine….. we can learn so much from that story.
CG
Welcome Bomcara, I look forward to hearing your perspective on many issues here. Yes, liberating and scary and lonely at times. You are lucky to have your dw on your side. My dh is on my side but not totally in line with my thinking which gives us the opportunity for passionate discussions:) It seems to be good so far though. I hope you enjoy your stay here.
CG
