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GBSmith, You ask a very important question. I tend to think that our society has taught us that we don’t have the answers. Think of how many self-help books there are and how many experts are out there. Just today between tv and radio I heard or surfed past many experts; Dr. Phil, Oprah, Doctor Oz, The Doctors and The John Tesh Radio Show called “Intelligence for life”. We are bombarded with experts opinions so much that we don’t listen to our own inner voice telling us what is right or wrong.
I read most of the OP on MM and I was well shocked by many of the comments. Those are questions I would never take to a Bishop or in most cases even a close friend. I believe in my marriage’s ability to figure it out. I’ve changed in my thinking though. 5 years ago I didn’t trust myself quite so much. What brought on the change was that I began thinking for myself in small ways and finding out that my world didn’t blow up and infact I could make very good decisions that led to good things in my life. Experimenting upon the word is a true principle. I also had to shut out the expert voices and that included church and general conference for awhile. I had to learn how to hear my own voice again. I have spent too many years looking for approval from others. It is a horrible way to live.
I’m not sure if my obsession with approval from others comes from being raised in the church, my family or if it is just part of my personality. Probably a combination of all three and more factors. I’m trying to teach my children differently. They need to know how to listen to their own inner voice. This is getting more and more difficult with the outer noise kids these days have in their ears.
I do wish more people would trust themselves. I think that if we would listen to ourselves more our lives would be more fulfilling.
I didn’t properly reference the book I mentioned. The proper title is “Toward a True Kinship of Faiths: How the World’s Religions Can Come Together” by His Holiness The Dalai Lama. Sorry about that. Wow!! Excellent quote and so timely for me. I have just finished reading, A Kinship of Faith by The Dalai Llama. Excellent book that addresses the need for religious people all over the world to live their common doctrine of compassion and the golden rule. He advocates religious literacy. He advocates living your personal faith tradition to the best of your ability and this will promote peace in the world. Less wars where religion is the catalyst and more harmony among the religions of the world. As I read the quote I was about to pounce on you when he said, “defend our religion” because of the images that statement brought to my mind. I was so glad to continue reading and understand his explanation. I love the last 3 sentences. Thanks so much for sharing.
I don’t have any advice, but I wanted you to know that I get what you are saying. I am experiencing similar feelings in regards to callings at this time. Just when I think I might be ready to try a calling again I start to feel resentful and irritated. I really don’t have an explanation for it, it just happens and I see that as a sign that I’m not ready. I need more time to heal or get to Fowlers Stage 5. I’m interested in what others have to say about this. Talking to my bishop doesn’t feel right for me. You bishop might be better suited to help you though. I also think that Tom’s questions are good ones to ask yourself. I was surprised at my own answers to those questions after I read them. I totally agree with Old Timer. Here is an example from my own life. In June our community received a large amount of rain. Many of the homes on my block flooded when the sewers backed up. Ours didn’t. Our neighbor said, “well, I guess you escaped the damage because you pay your tithing!!” I didn’t correct him but we are monthly payers and haven’t been paying for 3 months now for a variety of reasons. So, I think sometimes we as human beings need to find a reason for things that just don’t make sense and look to God for those reasons. We make God act as some parents would, punishing our children for their every move. I don’t think God works that way, but I use to. I have one that I used consistently for about a month. It was a place where I could write my innermost feelings without fear of someone close to me reading them. It felt safe to me anyway and I like the idea of not loosing it when a harddrive fails. I hope that the third party wouldn’t abuse their priviledge. I found it very healing for the time I used it. Great Question!! I like the 2 hour idea. This 3 hour business is really getting old. I would keep the sacrament and I would keep the young men performing their priesthood duties. I know it can be embarrassing when a mistake is made but the learning they receive from doing it far outweights any con. (My oldest is 14 and I have been so impressed by his desire to fulfill his priesthood responsibilities. It is so good for him, I’d hate to see them remove that.) I would keep all the music and add more. I would like to see more musical numbers as well. My ward has 2 professional violinists and 4 very accomplished pianists as well as a number of guitarists and vocalists. But, we are always singing a congregational hymn. What a waste. As a musician myself, I’m a bit bored with the hymnal, especially because we are not allowed to use other spiritual music in our meetings. There are only so many arrangements we can perform. I would also love to see more classical music by the greats like Bach and Handel. I realize that there are people who will stretch the idea of appropriate but man I would love to see a trumpet here and there or a guitar. Why are flutes and violins more holy than those other instruments? Strange how these decisions are made. I’d like to see how having the Bishop speak every week would go. I think I would like that, but only if the Bishop wasn’t feeling pressure from the top to get better numbers and he felt the need to preach each week on how we’re not doing enough. I would also keep one member speaker because the variety would be nice. I’d keep the youth speaker. What a fantastic opportunity for young people to have the experience of public speaking in a relatively safe environment. I would do away with High Council monthly visits and make them quarterly perhaps. One hour of Primary would be plenty for my 7 and 9 year old boys. And of course more meat in the 2nd hour classes. Wow, it seems I like a bunch of stuff about our Sunday Worship. Who knew? LOL
I’m so happy. This discussion is what I needed actually. I wanted to see how different people saw things and so I for one am finding this very supportive. There is never an easy answer is there. This fact is something I am beginning to really understand and accept. Thanks so much for helping me understand the great apostasy more. I’m also getting an understanding of how mormonism differs from general Christianity as well. I guess I’m a baby when it comes to these doctrinal topics and I’m so happy to be learning. This forum is so helpful because it feels like we are all free to express our views without fear of rejection or moral judgement. It is such an effective way of learning. Mormonheretic, Thank you so much for taking the time to help me understand. I read the term Gnosticism in Karen Armstrong’s book but you have really helped me understand that term much better.
I find this all very fascinating. I still don’t understand why the need for the priesthood to be restored. Any takers on that one? If the apostasy was beginning while Paul was alive and had more to do with competing sects of Christianity, my mind has a difficult time following the logic that says that the priesthood was taken from the earth. Did Paul hold the priesthood?
I hope I am not showing my ignorance by asking these questions. Thanks again for spending the time needed to answer me.
Canadiangirl
Welcome!! I understand the loneliness you are feeling. I am having similar struggles. I ask myself, how do I live my authentic life and stay active in a church that may not be healthy for me. It’s tough. I just don’t know what I believe anymore. It is a strange place to be but I still feel hopeful. Here I have read many posts that help me see that these feelings are the experience of many others and that we can move past them into even a greater understanding of God and his love for us. I am trying to focus on that. Peace to you,
Canadiangirl
Quote:I don’t expect to see HF or Jesus any time soon, but I believe I’ve seen God more than once – and I am certain (no doubts whatsoever) I have heard God’s voice.
As for the broader question of certainty at large, I would love certainty about some things – while the very idea of certainty about other things is enough to give me nightmares. Certainly of principle I can desire; certainty of detail or dogma I can do without. Conviction, however, I admire – as long as it is coupled with humility, love and compassion.
Me too!!!
My husband and I are currently in negotiations as to how to approach tithing. I have all sorts of ideas on how to approach it. I’m not sure what would be best for our family. My husband feels that we usually get every penny we pay in tithing back in our tax return so it is worthwhile paying 10% of our net income (income after government deductions). I’m wondering if we can get ourselves out of debt if we pay on our increase, meaning deducting the cost of living ie mortgage, food, insurances etc from our net income and then paying 10%. Whatever we decide, I want it to feel right to us and for us to be very conscious of the decision, making sure we don’t “forget” to pay tithing every other month or so. I believe in the principle of tithing but I’m not sure how exactly to carry it out.
