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So…. Another year goes by. I had to psychologically leave the church in order to stay. Now I can go back and do it completely on my own terms. I am becoming pretty comfortable in my own skin. I am not afraid that my friends and family know that I am a cultural “cafeteria” Mormon. I continue to go every once in a while because this is my community church. I am not afraid to just say no. No to anything that would seek to control me or keep me from exercising my free agency. Home Teachers? Maybe if they come by about once a quarter and it’s somebody that knows me from way back and is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. Me Home Teach? As long as you are OK with me coming by once a quarter. I’ll tell you about that up front. You can call me anytime that you need anything. I’ll be there for you.
Tithing settlement – No thank you.
Call me into your office to interview me? No thank you. I’ll talk to your second councilor who I have a pretty good relationship with. He knows better than to make me a “project”. In fact I would appreciate that you keep this confidential, you can tell the bishop but I’d prefer that my name not even be brought up in ward correlation meeting.
Please don’t interview any of my daughters without their mother being present.
Somebody is moving or is need of help? Please keep me on your speed dial.
If I happen to show up to Elders Quorum (you won’t see me in Sunday School.) Just know that when I hear any unfounded rhetoric or dogma being taught from anywhere in the room I won’t be afraid to calmly speak up (with my smart phone in hand) in a non confrontational way.
The church is a pretty good safety net for my kids and a place that they can practice their spirituality. But I will from time to time deprogram them when needed. I will teach them about the importance of non-exclusivity and to think for themselves. I will teach them that the church is a pretty good vehicle that can take you to heaven. But feel free to get out and walk when you feel like getting some exercise. Just be sure to keep your road map and ask people you trust for directions.
All the above is subject to change without notice. And this offer is only available because I live in Utah.
These days I feel like I’m doing good. The church correlation committee might disagree – but oh well. I haven’t said much lately because I don’t have much to say that is faith promoting.
My personal opinion is that the more somebody honestly looks into this stuff – the more disappointed he or she is likely to become.
My “looking in to matters” can be characterized as an obsession. — its not a path I would recommend if you want to remain a believer.
Could it possibly be all be a scam and still be of worth?
I often choose to have faith. But I also choose to not be deceived. And I get pretty weary of the “Jedi mind tricks” and misdirection.
I’m also staying for now. But I don’t know if that will change in the future.
I sometimes kinda of feel like my integrity is being comprised — but for the possible greater good for my family.
Some days gathering up the courage to be stay positive with “church issues” is like lacing up your running shows for that 3 mile run. ( or walk in my case. 🙂 )@Mckay11- Thanks for asking me the source of that quote. Upon further review when you put the quote in context with the rest of what he said it might lose some of its luster. At first glance ( not fully researched ) he appears to have used those words a few different times. One time may have been in his love letter to Nancy Rigdon. 
I am still here spinning my wheels. Like I said before I have my good days and my bad days. Lately it seems like it is about half and half. This is a good quote that helps me to see the bigger picture.
“Our heavenly Father is more liberal in His views, and boundless in His mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive.” — Joseph Smith
