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Growing up I was taught- ~Gender would only apply to those in the CK, so no need for marriage if you didn’t make it there
~To be in the CK you must be married
~Women who were unmarried, or married to someone who couldn’t take them to the CK would married a worthy man. (Probably polygamous)
~We would welcome the new wife(wives) with open arms because it is part of the plan, and will be part of our plan when we create worlds.
I find it humorous that I’m having a hard time finding lds materials to back these teachings up, because I was raised in a less active home so everything I was taught was at church or seminary. So materials have been either altered or removed, or some Sunday School teachers were taking some teaching liberties.
The very logical, skeptical person I am leans toward there being no vision at all. Many sources say he doesn’t share his experience with family and it was 12 years before his story comes about. He was a grand manipulator that created this story that gave people chills, out of necessity to cause people to believe, this was necessary for his power and church to grow. The part of my spirit that wants so badly to believe says, number 2. He didn’t share his, to date, most spiritual experience with anyone because it was special and sacred. Just as we don’t share all of our spiritual experiences with others. Just as it took me 2+ years to even address with my husband my spiritually altered path.
My testimony didn’t fall apart with the first vision, but it was added to the list of things to question once it disintegrated in so many other areas dealing with JS.
I wanted to post a thank you to you all. I have read and reread your comments several times over the last weeks, and cried each and every time. I appreciate knowing there are others who have been down this road and made it, and it is a comfort to know that it will get better. I have taken much of your advise and although still a rocky road I feel progress is being made. I my faith crisis started several years ago but as long as I was “faking it” I managed to smile and hold it together. Letting my husband in on my little secret caused a whole new kind of panic and guilt as he feels I have just kissed our eternal marriage good-bye. He too is processing and to his credit has really made an attempt to not judge or argue with me. My next step it to try to figure out how to be authentic with my kids and family without my husband feeling like I’m “leading them astray.”
Once again, I wanted to thank you all. I have often found myself in tears, consumed in fear and loneliness and turned to you to remind myself I can do it.
I love coffee. I would be a coffee drinker if it were not for the church. I have convinced my husband that Pero (a non coffee alternative—made from barley) is not the same (it is not, it barely has a similar taste) and he has come to terms with it. However, when we are staying at a hotel I do give in and will put a shot of it in some hot chocolate or sneak a cup with my breakfast. But those cups are few and far between. Sam, I’m sorry you are going through this experience. I wish I had some tidbit of wisdom that will make you feel better (I have found so much comfort spending hours reading this forum), but I simply do not have any more than what you have already shared. I have watched as good friends have fallen away from the church as they have attempted to go through this same process. It breaks my heart to see them lose something that once brought them so much joy. The process is far from perfect as are the men administering it. But it sounds like you have a great partner willing to stick with you through it.
Best of luck.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Here is a link to KSL where Elder Holland responds to similar questions. I’m not sure the answer will satisfy your daughter but it is what we have. I think if nothing else it gives hope that the door was left open for future changes. Thank you all for the warm welcome. I’m so excited I found somewhere to share thoughts and feelings where there is no judgement. Just in reading your responses, I was brought to tears with an overwhelming feeling of understanding. I didn’t think anyone would ever understand my questions. I have a father-in-law who had devoted his life to the church (teaching seminary and institute), 3 of his children have fallen away from the church and every time they come up in his home I hear how they sinned and refuse to repent so they have taken the easy road. Until 3 or 4 years ago I had agreed with him, it seemed like a reasonable conclusion knowing their history, but I know that is not my case. If anything this is the harder road and I have often thought about just closing my eyes and ignoring the questions. But that logical part of my brain won’t let me sit through a Sunday School lesson without looking for answers. Tim, I have wondered the same question about JS and fear going down that road will walk me right out of the church, so for now I avoid it.
