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Personally, I am not a fan of the SLT. I have not read a single article from the SLT which I felt was uplifting or inspiring. I believe strongly that Heaven is not at the mercy of hell. The old that must be left behind, will be replaced by something far more beautiful and grand… and all that was lost will be forgotten. There will be no more sorrow, no more pain, no more sadness. All that is wrong and unfair in this life can be made up through the Atonement of Christ.
I also believe that God watches over each one of His children in this life, as if they were His only one. There is no judgement we can make on the eternal destiny of any of His children; He will provide every opportunity and experience necessary for our salvation.
My favorite allegory for the atonement is the story of “Beauty and the Beast”. Once upon a time, there was a prince. He was a mean, spiteful, selfish, concieted, littly boy. You shouldn’t judge him too harshly, though. He was born into royalty, always given what he wanted (spoiled), and some might even say he was simply born that way. He was a prince by birth; but that was really all that was prince-like about him.
One rainy night, an old woman came to his door. She asked him for a bit of food to eat, and shelter from the storm. The bratty prince turned her away. Suddenly, she stripped off her disguise, and revealed herself to be a powerful sorceress. She told the prince that she would make him as ugly and monsterous on the outside, as his was on the inside. She turned the prince into the form of the terrible monster he really was. She then explained to the boy, that he would always remain this way UNLESS, somehow, he could become a good-natured, virtuous, loveable sort of fellow. He had to learn to care about others, outside his own selfish world. Only then, could he become the prince he was always meant to be.
But the prince was an awful monster, both inside and out. And for many years he stayed that way.
Then, one day, a girl came along. At first, she hated the beast. He was selfish, brutish, and ugly. But being wise, she also tried to look for the good in him. Deep down, she knew he was born to be a prince. And so she began to treat him like one. And the beast, not wanting to remain a beast forever, decided he would try to be as prince-like as he could.Though he was short-tempered, he tried to be more forgiving. Though he was selfish, he tried to be more kind. While at first, it was fruitless efforts and a lot of pretending, little by little, he started to develop those qualities a true prince would have.
BUT he was still and awful, ugly monster. There is no way he could change his form and turn back into a prince on his own; no matter how hard he tried. Until, one day a power outside himself was able to transform him, and he was at last able to become the prince he was always meant to be.
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Commentary: We are all children of our Heavenly Father, and all have a divine birthright. But deep down, each of us nothing more than an awful monster. We are selfish, prideful, lustful, envious, lazy, prone to anger, and have little self control. Who knows how we got this way? It may be because of our our environment, or the influence of those around us, and sometimes maybe it’s just the way we were born. There is very little that is divine within us.
Fortunately for us, we don’t have to stay that way forever. Jesus Christ provided the magic we need to turn us into the prince or princess we were always meant to be. It is a free gift, never earned. And we can never hope to change our monsterous natures without it. It’d be easier for you to turn a tin soldier into a human being, than to turn a human being into a god.
But Christ can do it all, whenever he liked. What he asks of us first is that we try. We pretend to be a decent sort of person. We try to keep the commandments, to follow his example. And we fail. And we try. And we fail. And we try… and eventually we get better at failing. We pick ourselves up again, and we keep going. And eventually, we start to develop those qualities we truly desire. We become a little better. But deep down, we are still just an awful monster, just a little better than before.
That’s where the grace of Christ comes in. He bestows the strength and power of the atonment, which physically and spiritually transforms us. It’s more miraculous than the beast turning back into a prince, and a more complete transformation. It makes, and will make us into the Children of God we were always meant to be.
The customary questions I ask are: 1. Are you healthy?
2. Are you happy?
3. Do you have the Spirit?
Inducing shame, whatever the reason, is never very effective.
Personally, I am a big believer in writing letters I will never send. I agree this should be one of them. I understand, in part, what you are going through. Some wards are absolutely wonderful, full of love, with everybody willing to help. Some are not. And some are simply full of introverted, Christ-like people who would help if only they knew what was going on. My current ward was one of the latter, plus had a ward council with terrible communication skills. As frustrating as it is, I hope you understand that your experience and your hurt isn’t coming from malice; only weakness.
I am so sorry to hear about what happened. I cannot imagine all you have been through. I hope you find solace and peace. Church leaders are often thought as representatives of Christ, who are in tune enough with the Spirit to speak for Him, and thereby provide the wisdrom Christ would give if He were here. That’s not always the case.
The truth is, we’re all struggling around in the dark, trying to make the best of the messy, complicated, and often painful experience we call life. At best, some of us occasionally will catch a glimpse of light, and hopefully gain a little guidance and a little wisdom. Bishops are faced with the strange and unfortunate task of being our “shepherds”; those whom we often trust with absolute confidence, but who are of themselves, filled with biases, worries, fears, prejudices, and foolishness (just like the rest of us). No one is constantly under the influence of the Spirit, because no one is worthy of it.
Bishops can and often do make mistakes. But I hope you will take comfort in the fact that most all of them will truly love you and have your best interests at heart.
I’ve heavily struggled with anxiety and depression, until recently. Meds didn’t do it for me. Priesthood blessings didn’t do it for me. But after decades of exhausting every possible solution, do you know what finally did?
Cold showers.
I kid not. I have as strong of a testimony of taking ice cold showers. It was painful the first couple of days, but now I crave them. They have made me more energetic, vibrant, level headed… Golly, I feel wonderful! It’s better than anything I’ve ever tried. It really helped me regain a clear head, and now I feel I am FINALLY able to tackle this faith crisis head on!
For me, I believe priestcraft to be preaching the word of God for personal gain and advancement. Modern day GAs don’t seem to have this issue, in my eyes. Many of them come from high-class backgrounds, and were very renouned in their field. I’m sure any money they recieve from the church is supplimented with their own retirement. Just like with a mission president, I believe it is reasonable to give them housing along with a stipend for food, clothing, and other necessities. They aren’t building up mansionsor buying sports cars.
I do have an issue with Brigham Young, when it comes to priestcraft. When he died he had an estate of $1,600,000, although John Taylor claimed he owed the church $1,000,000 of it. In the court case against his ex-wife Ann Eliza Webb, she claimed he had a net worth of $8,000,000, with an income of $40,000 a month. Brigham Young refuited, stating his net worth was only $600,000 and that he only made $6,000 a month. Keep in mind that $1 in the year 1870 was equivalent to $17.56 in our time. That was a LOT of money. And I’m sure Brigham Young earned some of that by his own hard work. But I can guarantee his position and income within the early Utah theocracy was heavily linked to being the prophet. I have a hard time beliving that Brigham Young’s own work was worth by today’s standards, an annual salary of $1,264,000.
Welcome to the forum! This small, wonderful group has personally been a great help to me. I’m glad you’ve decided to join. We hope you find peace with the gospel, and the happiness you’re looking for.
There was this book I recently read, called “Influence”, by Dr. Robert Cialdini. The book covers the psychological principles behind how people are influenced in lieu of concrete evidence It’s not anti-mormon or anti-religious in any way. A lot of the psychological principles he brings up aren’t necessarily bad, in and of them selves. Some of them are good, and oftentimes essential. But they can be used in a negative way. -The principle of commitment and consistancy: I’ve believed or acted this way in the past. I must continue to act or believe in this way.
-The principle of sacrifice: The more I have given up or devoted to a cause, the more it must be true.
-The principle of social proof: Everyone else believes/acts in this way. Therefore, I should act/believe in this way.
-The principle of reciprocation: This person, organization, belief has done something for me. I owe it my loyalty.
-The principle of liking: We tend to agree and support with those we like, or those who share similar interests and have similar backgrounds.
-The principle of authority: Anyone with authority, or the appearance of authority, must be correct.
-The principle of scarcity: If there is very little of it, it is probably a good thing to have.
It really helped me to analyze my own actions, and figure out the reasons behind what I do and what I believe. I was one of those who claimed “I know”. I said “I know” because so many others, especially those I respected, said they “knew” (ergo, testimony meeting). I had made commitments and sacrifices (mission, tithing, etc). Therefore, how can it not be true? The thought would be unbarable! I associated my positive feelings, with feelings of the Spirit. What the Spirit testifies of, is true (so I am told). Therefore, I knew!
But, so many times those positive feelings I have felt have been wrong. Not always, not often, but they have been wrong. I’ve recieved priesthood blessings with full faith from some of the best men I’ve ever known. They contained exact promises with exact dates… and they did not come true. I’m not discounting anyone else’s “knowing”. We all are blessed with our own unique experiences, and must strive to do our best with the hand we are delt. But for me, I have had to re-evaluate a lot of my own beliefs (even the ones I “knew” were true). For myself, I can’t base my beliefs on feelings, or what I believed was the Spirit. God forgive me, but I know I am too weak and prone to error.
Now, I’ve decided to take in gospel principles based on what is most “effective” in bringing me peace and happiness, and encouraging me to reach out to others. Some of them I have found to be wonderful! The word of wisdom, sexual self-control, service, charity, humility, patience… I could go on and on. Others, not so much.
As sort of a thought experiment, I’ve been trying to come up with a more effective church meeting structure. I am not criticizing Church leaders, or trying to reorganize the Church. The goal is just to be as effective as possible in developing lasting, positive change. Here is what I’ve come up with so far: The main focuses of the Church will be:
-Developing a lasting sense of peace, in this life, regardless of what circumstances we find ourselves in
-Developing a greater self-control over our thoughts, attitudes, and actions
-Developing a greater sense of community
-Developing humility; realizing how much we must depend on others, and how little we merit
-Developing greater empathy for our fellow men; valuing other’s happiness and success as much as our own
Church meetings.
Whenever possible, if two or more wards meet in the same building, combine them. If you have to set out a ton of chairs in the overflow, so be it.
11:30-12:00. Prelude music. Anyone who likes can come in, sit, pray, and listen to the hymns. If you need to talk, please whisper. Come and feel the Spirit. Shuffle in and out as you please.
12:00-12:30. Sing a hymn, and partake of the sacrament. It will take longer, with more people. But this will allow us some extra time to pray, meditate, and feel the spirit.
12:30-12:40. Bishop conducts ward business. He covers upcoming moves, meals that might be needed in the ward, people who need visits, etc.
12:40-1:00. Light refreshments; cheese, crackers, celery sticks. Everyone mingles in the back. Sign up sheets for the wards needs, as discussed by the bishop, are available. Everyone can see who is signing up for what; it is encouraged to do what you can. No pressure.
1:00-2:30. Classes. Classes are based on particular needs. No more “Gospel Doctrine”, “Gospel Essentials”, “Priesthood”, or “Relief Society” (Keep Primary pretty much the same).
Here will be some available classes:
-Overcoming Addiction
(whether Porn, chemical, gambling, gossiping, too much TV, junkfood. Any aspect of your life you want to change, but have a hard time changing)
-Finding a Greater Sense of Peace
-Family Relationships
-Self-Reliance
-Forgiveness
-Empathy and Rhetoric: How to Influence for the Better
-Compassion
-Gratitude
These are just some ideas. My basic thought is, Church should be tailored towards the needs of the individual. There should be more time to reflect, and less teaching. Classes should be focused on individual needs, according to what the individual feels they need. Instead of obligatory assignments, we could rely on volunteers by instilling in the members a greater sense of community. Lessons and classes should be geared towards developing specific positive behaviors, instead of a focus on specific books of scripture and doctrine. All the doctrine and scriptures can STILL be worked into lessons, but they are used as “means” rather than “ends”. Larger congregations will encourage a greater sense of community, and allow for more classes. More classes will allow members to learn and grow in areas where they feel they need the most growth.
Do you know the scripture, “For it shall be given you in the very hour, yea, in the very moment, what ye shall say”? I don’t think that refers to every moment in all situations, as some members and leaders believe. Sometimes, I really wish the church would emphasize the importance of tact, rhetoric, and empathy. It’s really important, whenever possible, to think before you speak.
I think certain behaviors and psychological principles in the church are generalized, and then taught as gosepel. Sometimes the generalization comes from not wanting to face the reality within ourselves. There are many people who feel they are entitled, despite being very distant from the giver. There are also many who do not. In terms of the LDS faith, many believe that if they pray, read scriptures, go to church, pay tithing, they feel entitled to the blessings. I know I’ve felt entitled for that very reason; and I’ve felt very upset when the blessings I needed didn’t come. Only when I was able to take a step back, learn that “virtue is it’s own reward”, and stop feeling entitled because of my efforts, was I able to have peace. There are three options: 1. The Book of Mormon is 100% true. There really was a Nephi, Lehi, Captian Moroni, etc. The events that took place in the Book of Mormon are 100% accurate.
2. The Book of Mormon is partially true. Those who wrote in the Book of Mormon were still allowed to color their writings with bias, and sometimes had misinformation. When revealing to Joseph Smith the translation of the Book of Mormon, God allowed misinformation to get through uncorrected.
3. The Book of Mormon is historical fiction. It takes scriptures from the bible, and combines them with stories of a fictional people in order to convey by allegory the keys to happy living.
In any case, the Book of Mormon was used to increase other’s faith in Jesus Christ, provide novelty to the ancient teachings of Judeo-Christianity, solidify Joseph Smith’s reputation as a prophet, increase his power and authority amongst men. The real difference is whether this was God’s intent in revealing the Book of Mormon to Joseph Smith, or Joseph Smith’s in coming up with the Book of Mormon.
What is certain to all of us, is that Jesus Christ set up a church, but that mankind changed that church. Beliving in something religiously, even if it isn’t true, is a very strong motivator. Beliving in a prophet, that speaks for God with absolute truth and authority, is a strong motivator for making many positive decisions which can bring peace and happiness. Trusting in the absolute wisdom of another, if it is good wisdom, will bring about positive change.
“In truth, there never was any remarkable lawgiver amongst any
people who did not resort to divine authority, as otherwise his laws
would not have been accepted by the people; for there are many good
laws, the importance of which is known to be the sagacious lawgiver,
but the reasons for which are not sufficiently evident to enable him to
persuade others to submit to them; and therefore do wise men, for the
purpose of removing this difficulty, resort to divine authority.”
— Niccolo Machiavelli
I have a couple of theories as to why this is the case: 1. The Church leaders are deemed as prophets and speak for God.
2. The Church leaders place a strong emphasis on education, hard work, the avoidance of debt, and self-reliance. They also discourage against certain activities which can be a drain on time and finances, especially ones that cause psyiological dependence and addiction (smoking, drinking, gambling, pornography).
3. Tithing and fast offerings. I have read several studies that those who give away a portion of their income to a charitable cause, become more financially conscious, and better managers of their money. Despite the expense, they often wind up saving more and spending less.
4. The Church leaders also promise, in essence, that if you keep the commandments, God will watch over you, take care of you, and cause you to prosper. Believing in this, many members are more likely to take risks, and stay optimistic even when things go wrong. Optimistic risk taking is a HUGE factor in wealth creation, and has been the huge reason why so many members I know have been able to make it rich as entrepreneurs.
Also, the rich members are more obvious than the poor members. Because of the focus in the Book of Mormon on the pride cycle (where the poor become rich because they keep the commandments, and the rich become poor because they forget their God), most of the rich LDS will attribute their wealth to the fact that they “kept the commandments”. They are more vocal about the blessings of the gospel, firstly because they don’t want to lose it (because of the pride cycle), and second because they are proud. Because of their capacity, testimony, etc, they are more likely to be given prestigous callings, which further vocalizes their “success”.
Poorer members oftentimes are forced to work multiple low-wage jobs, which hinders their ability to serve in high capacity callings, perform their home teaching assignments, etc. Because of the “Pride Cycle” so often taught, this makes the poor ashamed of being poor. “I am poor because I don’t have enough faith. I am poor because I am a sinner. I am poor because I am unable to serve in these callings”. And when you are ashamed, when you have the idea reinforced that you are poor because of sin and lack of faith, you are much less likely to vocalize your faith.
