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Tacenda wrote:
Hi Bill,
I feel your pain and respect all you are doing to ease the pain of others through your Mormondiscussions podcasts to your words here. It’s an honor to have known you through the discussion boards and podcasts you speak on. I’d say more but am on my phone, and having trouble typing my post.
Thank you Tacenda!!!!Daeruin wrote:😯 😮 It’s not actually that big of a deal. They just asked me to share my favorite hymn and take 2 minutes to talk about it. But it’s kind of a big step for me. What are some hymns that are doubter-friendly?
I would so pick Come Thou Fount and talk about my faith transition!!!!
LookingHard wrote:Bill,
I feel for ya man, but you are doing the right thing. If you honestly feel even after praying that taking the calling is going to lead to more burnout, you do owe it not to your Family only, but to YOURSELF. There is a difference between losing yourself in service (you feel GREAT and want to do more) and being stretched too thin (you just feel like you want it to all end).
We should all be working to become like Christ, which includes serving for sure (in many ways, not just in church). But we can’t be perfect in that in a matter of one moral lifetime.
I just don’t want to always be at burn-out stage. I hope for a new day sometime ahead.
Heber13 wrote:Bill…I respect you as I’ve listened to your thoughts over the years. Glad you take time to share what you do.
I do think church can be a different experience in different areas. If you lived in Arizona, California, Colorado or Idaho or any area that has multiple large wards in a small geographic area…you could probably more easily take a break and there are other resources the leadership can look at for stepping up, next saint in line kinda thing.
When I lived back east…they were always needing help, and looking for people who could fill one or two callings…because they didn’t know what else to do.
I think you’re pretty good to learn to hold your ground and do what is best for you and your family.
Whether they understand the Dark Night of the Soul or not…they just have to respect a father’s wishes to help keep family first, not sacrifice all for the church.
I agree. though I don’t think a “only if it blesses me” approach should be a lifelong one. I am hoping this is only a phase or a stage, and I can get back to serving wherever needed.
cwald wrote:Peace friend.
If you still want to do a podcast, I’m probably at the state to do so.
I have no fame like mamy of your latest guests, nor am i a “stayLDS” champion, so it may not work for your pod and I’ll understand.
I do, IF (big IF) we can find some way to keep it leaning positive. You can still talk about frustration and doubt, but is there any aspect that would build faith (how you have maintained friendships, family relationships, supported others still active)?
Also Thanks for your kind words!!!
Ilovechrist77 wrote:Bill, I’m grateful for all the things you are doing for others that have faith crises.
Thank You
Shades of Grey wrote:The question I would ask you DB, is part of your apprehension here that these time consuming callings (one after another) have potential to effect the wonderful work your doing with the podcast? If so, I think it’s a very legitimate fear in that the individual “minisrty ” you seem to have been called to in this digital age gets stretched thin. Trying to balance ones individual divine calling in life with what the organization has in mind is very conflicting. I have found it to be so in my life too. I love your work on the internet and I’m so grateful for the podcast you did with Mormon Stories, it came at a very critical time in my life
No. I do the podcast on Tuesdays during my day off when the rest of the family is at work/school. I also put out so many episodes that I can take the summer off almost completely.
My issues is this – I am simply burnt out from serving in the Church. Our Bishop was my 1st councelor when I was Bishop. After Bishop I was called as WML and in Ward Council he would still look to me and specifically at me for suggestions and advice, which felt uncomfortable as it was obvious he was giving deference to me over others opinions. I get why he did it and he is a great man but it seemed to not fit. So combining that with being burned out, I asked for a release. I would not turn any calling away. I would happily accept a calling as a teacher to adults (sunday School or PH) I would happily accept a calling to teach older youth. I happily accepted my calling as 1st C in Sunday School. There are others I would happily accept. But I would not accept anything. It at this time in my life has to be a good fit. It has to be something I can swim in and enjoy. It has to feel right. Not only do I have to assume the Bishopric was inspired, but I have to feel it was inspired. I hope to not be in this place forever and I am not recommending that others take this same approach as “this is the ideal way to serve in the Church” as it is not.
But for me right this moment, it is the only way I will maintain my positive edge. My service in the Church while enjoyable has always been about serving others from day one as at least a equal factor. Right now it is 100% about my having peace and enjoying church…. that is the main drive and I wish it weren’t so but for my sanity, it must be so right now.
SilentDawning wrote:I am the Grand Sheba of Burnout in the church. Welcome to my shrine!
I read over the Dark Night of My Soul — I found the stages you presented helpful. Which stage are you in? I related particularly to this stage:
Quote:
The fifth stage I call the journey outward. At this stage, we go back into the world and do thekinds of things we did in the success stage, but with different, more selfless motives. People will
often change ministries at this stage and become willing to go smaller, humbler, and riskier.
They are now living God’s purpose rather than that of an institution or others.
As I said to you in a private message, I think this phase can take you outside of religion, into service that not only allows you to live God’s purpose, but that also allows you to pursue your own character development. That’s where I am right now. I don’t consider it selfish — perhaps a blend of Maslow and one of the other theories where service to mankind is not only service for its own sake, it’s a green house of self-actualization.
I would like to add, that this refocusing of efforts into new arenas can be very refreshing and spawn spiritual renewal. I find I am working every bit as hard as I did as a Bishopric member, Stake Executive Secretary or High Priest Group leader. So, it wasn’t necessarily the hard work that threw me into burnout when I held those callings — it was the monotony, the sameness, the constant trying to change other people — that many of those callings demanded of me.
I like how you asserted yourself to the Bishop, in a kind way. I have been doing the same thing. I did so with a primary pianist calling and I believe it was absolutely the right thing to say “no”.
I find many traits of 4 and 5 to be relative to my position. Some of 4 is behind me and some of 5 sounds foreign to me still and I grasp intellectually what I need to get to, I don’t emotionally grasp how to get there
Mike wrote:Bill, I’m curious. With all of your leadership experience in the Church, do you notice a correlation in inactivity with the increase
in the hours required by members serving within the church? I hope this question is clear.
So much is required as you serve. When you do a decent job & you’re willing to serve, more is expected & you move through the various organizations & calls. It sounds like a vicious circle.
Yes the better mormon you are, the more work and responsibility you will be given. I do not though, see a coorelation between inactivity and workload. I do though see a correlation between faith crisis and drawing lines in the sand in regards to over sacrificing yourself to the Church
mom3 wrote:bill – I can barely type through my medication haze, but I want you to know I offered a prayer for you. I lean on your work so much. Thank you for reminding me that you are walking the same road we are. Please take a break from what ever you need to.
All of you…. thank you each for your kind words. This last response struck me. Thank you for your prayers. I am pulled a lot of directions. I felt your prayers as I read this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!
Roy wrote:
Perhaps in a way – we are starting to implement this framework in the LDS church. The Bushman’s and Givens’ (and DBMormon and StayLDS) being the mentors that have “made it through.” They have enough credibility that people in crisis can take them seriously but are not in such an official capacity as to rock the boat for TBM’s.I am not stage 5…. I am still at least one foot cpompletely stuck in 4…. so never set me as your example or guide. I am simply trying to light the way for you and me and so those who don’t understand us can’t ignore us… but I am as unclear what stands at the other end of the tunnel as you are. lol
For me this quote points to the major issue in faith crisis which is the angst of transition shifting from my authority for my beliefs and thoughts being extrinsic to their becoming intrinsic. DarkJedi wrote::thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: I agree, absolutely nailed it for me. I think I know some people I would like to share this with. Is there a link?You read fast!!!
http://www.thebattleofarmageddon.com/stages_of_faith.html ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.thebattleofarmageddon.com/stages_of_faith.html This one also made some good perceptions
http://www.faithformationlearningexchange.net/uploads/5/2/4/6/5246709/faith_development__faith_formation_-_keeley.pdf ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.faithformationlearningexchange.net/uploads/5/2/4/6/5246709/faith_development__faith_formation_-_keeley.pdf I can 2nd what Ray has said. The Brethren are very aware of the Bushmans and Givens and what they are saying and doing and while the Church is not behind the faith crisis firesides and other public appearances directly, they also are not separate from it nor opposed to them. I will say no more than that.
