[deancatcat]

HI Aaron,

I am so sorry you are having such conflict. I understand. Have you thought about therapy and behavior modification rather than the church doctrine that is making you feel bad? I hate to see you give up your life in the church because of an emotional or behavioral issue that can be changed. Truly!!! My heart goes out to you. I hope you stay.

[deancatcat]

I just read your post, and am so glad you both have freedom to live life and be in church too, but not have it encompass your entire life. However, I read your post about Stage 5 and then read this quote below your post with some other quotes:

“Stage 5 is where you no longer believe the gospel as its literally or traditionally taught. Nonetheless, you find your own way to be active and at peace within it”.

Is this like applied research where qualitatively there is enough empirical research that this be true?? I am having such a hard time with learning the gospel and what our doctrine is as I am new to that part of the church. We joined 10 years ago but played the piano in Primary for a long time. Then finally got to go to Sunday School and RS. I think it’s a lot of church. Lots and lots of church. So, this is where I am at.

I loved your wife’s comment. I like you are having happy days and feeling free. I think it is wonderful not feeling “bad” because I’m not perfect. I never had a church that has made me feel so bad about who I am except this one. Have you always been members?

[deancatcat]

What happened to MST? Or BMW? I was told about the MST when we first went to church 10 years ago and everyone was late, including the bishops wife and kids. Then when I was told everyone had BMW’s I was like what is that? Big Mormon Wagon. So all three of our cars: small commuter toyota echo with license plates SMW4LDS – small mormon wagon 4 LDS, our medium size car has MMW4 LDS and the SUV BMW4LDS. Yep, my husband loves it. LOL.

[deancatcat]

Hi Everyone. I started my Stats classes so I haven’t been able to get on here much, or anywhere else for that matter! The meeting I didn’t go to, I did see one of the Presidency members, and I’m pretty much in trouble. I have been released as the ward choir pianist because I do not sustain the two new counselors. Well, one was 2nd and moved to 1st, now the new 2nd is just as bad. I am not sure what I’m learning in this ward. Perhaps there isn’t anything to learn anyway… *sigh*!! Thanks everyone.

[deancatcat]

Hi Everyone, I refused to meet with the Bishop or any one else for that matter. I did go to church today, and the last song was God be with you ’till we meet again, which is the song sung by a woman at church with a beautiful voice, to my BFF that died last year. I burst into tears and cried uncontrollably until the meeting was over. I realize how much she and I held each other up because we were so much the same. At Sunday School, the Bishop came over and sat with me and my husband. I had to leave early because one of my daughters came to visit today, and I don’t see her often as she lives farther away. I hugged the Bishop and wept. All of your voices were in my head today, and in my heart. Each one of the stories, the trials, the fears, the heart felt love and spirit came in a flood of emotion today, and I wept with joy to know you all. I don’t know if you realize how grateful I am to know you people. If I can make it through one more day knowing I am not alone, the day is a success and I am blessed. Thank you all…… so sincerely….

[deancatcat]

Thanks!

[deancatcat]

I am an advocate for equality and stopping discrimination. I love this one. I hope it comes out okay. I am grateful our church members are starting to understand same gender love. Because I did not grow up in the church, and grew up on the S.F. Peninsula I had no idea there was discrimination like I do today. I no longer live in the Bay Area, but only an hour or so away, but people’s views are different.

When my husband and I got married at our ward, we were living together before we got married and were baptized a week after our wedding at the ward building, we invited all our friends, this included many gay couples we knew. We are both in recovery for multiple years – me (I am a girl) with 21 and he with 19 years, so we were friends with many different walks of life. But the people we met at church as we learned about the gospel and decided to be baptized, came and sat at the same tables with our other friends. One of my gay friends caught the bouquet.

I hope this youtube can be seen. It’s neat that this is happening…. and I loved this other video you posted. Thank you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekoVGgn5sT0

Dean Hansen (I’m a woman)

[deancatcat]

Hi Doug, Thank you for your warm remarks. The Bishop Ric changed when they took the 1st counselor out to be in the Stake. The 2nd went to the 1st position. The 2nd is a man who sells Reliv and gets people into horrible debt by passive persuasion. I fell prey to that some years ago and took a long time to dig myself out of the hole. The Bishop RIC saw his actions as “trying to be helpful.” So, the 2nd position was given to a man that my husband and I helped with his wife joining the church while he became active 10 years ago. This man’s wife got severely mad at me last year when my BFF from church was dying and I could not figure out how to get to her house to buy her treadmill. She has been cold and silent since then no matter how I try. Her husband followed suit a few months ago when I tried to talk to him. Watching my Bishop Ric turn into a group with two men who are self-centered and selfish people was more than I could handle today. I left. I emailed the Presidency, and now I’m in trouble because they called and want to “talk” to me at 8:00pm tonight. I have always been the odd man out. I am liberal, I voted for Obama, I believe in equal rights, I detest discrimination in any form, but am a full tithe payer and hold a recommend. I am shunned by many women; they completely ignore me, and some of the men have told me to shut up in Sunday School. I ask questions. Lots of them. I was put behind a primary piano my first seven years. Now in the past three I have been in Sunday School for most of the time, and am learning all about the church. I didn’t know and don’t know so much, and am shocked at some of the beliefs. I have literally had to talk some of them into finally telling the truth about if it’s doctrine or opinion. I walk into Sunday School and the lady that ask people to do the opening prayer has never asked me in three years, even though on many occasions I have been the only one in the room. I am an outcast.

Cwald or Chad, I grew up on the Bible. The New Testament is where Jesus lives and all his teachings are, so is our salvation in Revelation. I went to church for a few years in a small store front where I met Jesus as a felt figurine a lady held in her hand as she explained this Lord of Love, this Lord of Life, this Redeemer. I felt a overwhelming warm feeling from my head to my toes – I was five, and right then I knew Jesus lived. We moved and I went to a Baptist Church for 12 years before I moved away, and searched for a church for many more years. I have studied many other religions as well, I have a Zen book on my desk, I follow some of Buddha’s teachings. I believe in Mother Earth and all things that are good from nature and God.

I don’t know what else to say, but I am not looking forward to 8:00 and what they have in store for me. I could hardly stand the past year with the previous 2nd counselor that is now the 1st counselor. Now it’s two of them. I suppose I just don’t like two faced people.

[deancatcat]

Hi ~ I am in a doctoral psychology program and we just finished studying bullying. The best way to take care of bullying is to confront the bully, the parents of the bully, the every body around the bully, everyone in the environment that is affected by the bully. Hiding bullying regardless of who’s high counsel kid it is, and I do not put a lot of precedence in the hierarchy anyway, must be opened to everyone that is affected. The bullied child or person is not the only people affected by the bully. A bully will pull in buddies while pushing others out. Bullies usually pick on people that are friendly because they are easy targets. They are easily moved into learned helplessness.

I was bullied once in a ward it was awful. I did not understand it back then. But we decided to move because it got so bad. The last day we were in church I stood at the pulpit and gave my testimony about loving people even if we don’t like them, and the reason we were moving was because of the treatment we received in the ward. I was chased out by the Bishops cane carrying wife. She swung that cane at me, and I ran in a hurry. What I realized that day, after eight months, I had finally found out that was the bishops wife. We had been ostracized almost immediately upon arrival, and it never got better. To not know the bishops wife in eight months is a sad commentary of how people can be alienated.

We are converts of 10 years. My husband has long hair in the back. I am a counter culture child. When we went to the Temple to be sealed, they took my husbands recommend and checked it out thoroughly to make sure he should be allowed in. My husband has been a faithful member, never complaining, never being negative, always there. Shame on our social structure that creates judgment and demeaning behaviors.

My heart goes out to anyone bullied because Jesus is all about love. And love is what should be the theme every single week. But especially for the youth, so young, so pure, so innocent that get bullied. So sad. Talk about. Talk about it to everyone involved until you cannot talk about it any more. Bullies exposed have no choice but to change their behavior.

Dean (I’m a woman not a guy…..this is my dad’s middle name)

[deancatcat]

Thank you cwald…I am sorry, I don’t know your real name, . What do you do to get through these times? I am so sad right now. Do you have people that help you? Do you have scriptures or stories that help?

Dean

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