[doug]

Apparently I wasn’t paying attention as a teenager. I’ve been rediscovering some stuff I used to listen to and was struck by the song “La Sagrada Familia” by the Alan Parsons Project. The title refers to the cathedral by that name designed and constructed by Antoni Gaudi in the 19th century though it is still incomplete (though I guess there are plans to ‘remedy’ that). The last verse:

Quote:

Who knows where the road may lead us, only a fool would say

Who knows what’s been lost along the way

Look for the promised land in all of the dreams we share

How will we know when we are there? how will we know?

Only a fool would say

The unfinished cathedral as a symbol of a person’s journey through life struck me as profound.

Almost anything by Switchfoot gets me thinking.

[doug]

SamBee wrote:

Well, I was an agnostic for many years, but I don’t know that I am one now.

In my view, we’re all agnostics. We can neither ‘know’ that God exists nor that He doesn’t. We can choose to believe that He does, or to believe that He does not, and both choices involve a leap of faith.

[doug]

Gorilla-

I’d like to say ‘welcome’, but since this is my first post, that might be somewhat presumptuous. Nevertheless, I think coming here was an excellent move for you. Good on ya!

There is a one-size-fits-all mentality toward teaching children, and that thinking seems to pervade the whole culture. This is a practical necessity, I suppose, but I think in many cases it can do a lot of damage, particularly to those with very sensitive personalities, or with a strong sense of wanting to please. While most of the 13-year-olds are rolling their eyes and flinging spit wads during their morality discussions, some are really paying attention, sometimes too carefully, especially when the dirtiness and guilt, and the punitive nature of God’s response are stressed.

In trying to help my own family members deal with guilt issues I have tried to stress that feelings of guilt can be healthy but more often seem to be the construct of our own imagination and the culture we grow up in. Obviously there are some things we probably should feel guilty about if it motivates us to fix them. I don’t know if a pornography addition is one of those things, but I think you are right in trying to make it no longer a part of your life. If your motivation for doing so is to please someone or something else, you’re on the wrong track. Concentrate on your own desire to improve, because of the reasons that make sense to you. If God loves you and wants you to be happy and successful, as I believe He does, then He will be right there you by your side through the painful process, not jeering from the sidelines.

You are receiving counseling, which in my own experience has been a mixed bag, but from what you say, it sounds like a good match. I have also heard of good results from the twelve-step program. I hate to sound trite, but is a regular exercise program part of your life? How about meditation? One of my favorites books on that topic is Everyday Zen by Charlotte Beck. Another book I’m in the middle of How God Changes Your Brain) might also be helpful. Just a thought. I could bore you with other self-help titles that may or may not help, but i will forebear.

Quote:

“I’m going to do what I want, believe how I want to believe, and not be scared into forcing myself down the rabbit hole.”

That’s something I heartily encourage, though it comes at a cost as you have discovered. This is your life. Is it what you want it to be? (to paraphrase a favorite song). If it isn’t, make changes as you see appropriate. There is good guidance to be found in church teachings and principles, and in a general sense, I think you would do well to follow them. But you will have to become responsible for determining when and how they relate to the life you are living.

-Doug

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