[ElCid]

When you mention in your post, “maybe I’m really not so different than ‘everyone else’ after all”, you are very right. Before I came upon the Internet community of members that feel this way it seemed like the only approach was either accept it all, hit the road or just stay silent.

When I read John Dehlin’s crisis of faith and listened to the podcast it was extremely helpful to know that others that are still LDS can find a path that can work. I’m holding out hope/faith that there is something out there for me.

Some things however, I just can’t take anymore. Just to list one…I no longer attend F/T meetings. I would joke with my wife that it is the modern version of the BOM Rameumptom – … “every man did go forth and offer up these same prayers. Now the place was called by them Rameumptom, which, being interpreted, is the holy stand. Now, from this stand they did offer up, every man, the selfsame prayer…

We taught our kids growing up to talk about how the gospel has influenced their lives and if they wanted to bear a testimony to think about what they wanted to say and not just repeat what they hear. We were never going to go up with them, it was their choice.

Once my teenage son just before going on his mission got up and said he knew God lived and answered prayer and he “believed” that BOM was the word of God and he “believed” that JS had seen a vision but he was still searching for more knowledge. After the meeting a member politely scolded him and said “it is ok to say “I know”, you need to say I know”. I told this member “no, it is ok to say I believe”. You could almost see the look in her face of what an awful parent I was for not teaching my kids how to bear testimony properly.

I remember when I was the ward mission leader and the missionaries brought an investigator to F/T meeting. The lady walked out of the middle of the meeting and after we met with her she said it sounded like all of you are just trying to re-assure yourselves over and over again. Everyone is saying the same thing.

Anyway, I seem to recall the analogy you mentioned about tearing down the whole house and starting from scratch. It is an interesting concept. I would be interested in others that have done that and would be willing to share how they approached it? What they went through? I consider myself to be at the beginning of this whole thing and I can see that there are many others that are further down this road.

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