[eni12]

Carburettor wrote:

Hi. I have reached a precarious position, and the future looks bleak.

I am a product of zealous adherence to Church principles, policies, and programmes (warning: non-US spellings, sorry). My entire life has been centred on the Church and anchored to it. I consider myself to have a deep-rooted testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that has been forged through six decades of determination and endurance, and I have served in priesthood leadership pretty much my entire adult life — with the past four years being spent in stake leadership.

All that being said, my world view began to change a few years ago on account of some things I was instructed only to believe and never question — but which the Church by its own actions caused me to question in my mid-fifties. With increasing concern, I feel I have no choice but to step away when Oaks replaces Nelson (sadly, he won’t live forever — so to speak) because I now realise I will become a hypocrite if I remain. Whether I will return at some point will depend on what happens in due course.

For the record, I’m a dyed-in-the-wool, second-generation member in the UK. Seminary graduate. Served a full-time mission to Canada. University graduate. My patriarchal blessing assured me that a wife was waiting — and that we would have children. So I’ve now been married and sealed for 27 years to my returned-missionary wife, and we have four adult children — each of whom has pretty-much rejected our example. My patriarchal blessing also tells me I will serve a lengthy mission with my wife at a time when people recognise the close return of the Saviour.

So what’s the problem? Well, I’m technically part of the LGBTQIA+ cohort — and the paradigm in which I put my trust has turned out to be a disturbing mirage with a toxic back-story. I’m now trying figure out what lies ahead.

Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, I have remained covenant keeping from the get-go. I have no interest in liberalisation, same-sex marriage, or anything like that. I am simply troubled by what I perceive as duplicitous behaviour by senior priesthood leaders that continues to produce victims.

Worse yet, I seem to have ended up in a camp all by myself. I no longer believe what the Church OR secular society has to say in respect of gender and identity. As far as I can tell, neither offers anything more than the philosophies of men mingled with scripture.

welcome mate , I am also new here.. thanks for introduction. Navigating the intersection of faith, identity, and societal changes can be incredibly challenging, especially when it feels like you’re in a unique position or a camp of your own. I hope you find the peace and clarity you seek as you navigate this complex terrain:)

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