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bc_pg that was a long intro, but it was good. I can understand someone being a cultural mormon, I don’t know if you can ever get it all out of your system. I will resign as soon as my wife will do the same. Of course I know all the lgm’s at star command! Just this forum Brian, there are several here to whom I owe my padawan training! A year and a half has past since I wrote this introduction post. I sit and consider what I wrote then and what I’ve learned since that time and how my life has changed. I’m sure some of you have or could perform this same exercise. Rarely does a day pass that I don’t read a book on church history, or listen to a podcast. The ramifications of my decisions have penetrated the lives of friends and family causing a ripple or a tsunami that cannot be recalled. One thing that remains the same I try to “do what is right and let the consequences follow” IMO my worst fear is that my children could become the ubber, seminary, missionary, institute, temple marrage, come hell or high water mormon that dives in hook line and sinker just to one day learn that they have only been taught the “useful truths of mormon doctrine and history” and go through what I have, risking marrage, family, friends etc. How long has it been since she became aware of your changed belief? My wife although she still claims to be TBM has really come around as she has seen me trying hard to do my best and be a better father than ever. Also as she has met many good people in our MS Dallas fb support group she has given me increased credability but it has been painful at times and the progress has been slow. Its been a while but I saw and read the article, made me think of old times as I read your comments. I don’t use a pseudonym anymore my name is Shane Toone if anyone cares you can fb friend me. Much has changed in my life and mormon journey over the past year and a half. I just want to thank you all for your good advice (mostly good) and for being there for others that need help as they pass through perhaps the most difficult time of their life! I just finished insider’s view yesterday, for me its about the “whole truth”, not just the stuff some leaders think I should know. I really liked the book, it helps me get the whole family up to speed on what they won’t hear in SS and Primary. The mormon stories podcast with Grant Palmer added to my understanding of his motivation for writting the book. Quote:CandleLight25 wrote…
It was then that an Ad on the side bar caught my attention. It read: “I’m an Exmormon”(perhaps you’ve seen these).
I have seen these, they are very well done, especially the one you mention!
Quote:Last but not least, I want to leave you guys with a final problem I’m currently facing. As I mentioned above, I decided to postpone my mission a year so that I could get my Associates Degree. Now that I’ve completed my degree, I’ve started the process on filling out my mission papers. I’m planning on submitting them in early June. I really want to go, but now I am unsure if I should. Can I still serve a mission as a middle Mormon, or the better question, should I? I’m interested to hear your thoughts and opinions. As I am still relatively new to all of this, I’m open to any advice you have to offer.
Candlelight25 People go on missions for different reasons, and have varying attitudes regarding the gospel that sometimes change during their mission(mostly improve). So that you will know my attitude toward what I believed was the one and only true church at that time, I tell you that I was a very dedicated, hard working and completely orthodox missionary. I was a District Leader twice and a Zone Leader 3 times. I trained 3 new elders (my mission president must have trusted me). After my mission I went to BYU for the most part to teach at the MTC which I dearly loved. I loved and cherished my mission. It was without a doubt the most incredible 2 years of my life! I would not trade that experience for anything I am so glad I went!
However, if I would have known what I know now about the LDS church I would have never went! I cannot sell a product that I believe is not what it claims to be. Candlelight25 If you go, go all the way. Don’t be a middle way missionary- there is no way in my opinion to muster the iron clad determination or the unwavering zeal that you will need, especially if your in a 3rd world country, to have the most powerful spiritual experience many young men will ever have. I wish you the best no matter what you decide. Let us know how it works out, I truly seek further light and knowledge on this subject, I can’t in good conscience let my boys go on missions without knowing the part that they didn’t learn in primary, Sunday School, young mens program, and seminary but the risk is that they will never know or have the out-of-this-world amazing experience of serving a mission with all their heart, might, mind and strength!
f4h1
Quote:Crooked_Sky wrote…Long story short. 4th,5th generation LDS. Married/sealed 20+ years, teaching EQ on JS, was disturbed by validating the destruction of the expositor printing press. Dug deeper, couldn’t stop. Eyes were opened (polyandry…. really ?). Kept it to myself, finally broke down with my wife.
So good to have you! Your story is a lot like mine, except I have only been married for 18.5 yrs. It is so hard when you realize that there is a lot of Church History left out of the “approved” version. I find comfort in that you value truth more than tradition. It still hurts, going on 3 years out of the box. Isn’t it amazing how much there is to learn after all these years. Welcome.
f4h1
Quote:SD wrote…
Don’t know why, but these personal insights, and this sense of independence has been a long time coming. I honestly believe there is a foundation forming for better and unique relationship with the Church as I go forward as I work on these Personal Articles of Faith.
Nice, and I see that you once were SD “the grey” but now SD “THE WHITE”
My3GirlsDad wrote:Silent Dawning-
Quote:And its too bad, because in its most basic format, our Church encourages a healthy, clean life.They do encourage that. But they are like a controlling father figure who rousts you every day at 5:30am and demands that you get your exercise. Then he monitors what you eat/drink and follows up in a series of interviews. Its a bit silly. But they set the rules for membership and we need to follow the rules while we “live under their roof”. I just think most people will eventually find “their own place” because although they are in great physical shape- the emotional/psychological toll is too high. That is why a lot of us have found community in web communities- because we need real, true, loving connection.
The members of your ward are the reason you suffer through it all. They are the bright spot, the community- they are suffering right along with you against the (oftentimes unseen) oppressive nature of the leadership. And this leadership style was inherited- it’s not really the current leadership’s fault at all. They believe that they are acting in accordance with God’s will- in His only true church. The problem lies much deeper- and we inherited it…along with all the good stuff that came with it.
The problems, frustration, emotional distress, and unbelief will all continue as long as the core is faulty. And the bright spots will continue as well- but won’t be able to outweigh the distress in the long run. Why the distress? Because we all want to be a part of something that we can REALLY believe in. Something that inspires us and is honest. Something that doesn’t require mental gymnastics to get through or the “lowering of expectations” to appreciate. Or making a pro-con list. This is not an arranged marriage. We GET to love it- if we want to.
Sorry to go off topic- I just hurt for the pain that people have, are and will go through because of this religion- in spite of its good intentions. I am still lds by record only but find little peace in their brand of “Good News”. I just hope that people can separate a loving, kind, true God from this organization that claims to be His only bride. Faith in Christ saves us and the Grace offered through Him is the easy yoke that we seek. A church can offer neither of these- even if they claim to be the conduit to them.
M3GD
M3GD I respect that others may feel differently, however, I agree with you 100%
Holly Cow Man! I leave home for a few days, finnally get back to the site here and I see a Cwald post with 113 Replies and 2857 Views %&*^@#???? I havn’t had time to read all the others comments, but I did read all of yours. I agree with every positive thing that has been said about you cwald. I admire your courage and determination in defending the truth the way you see it. Perhaps a part of the issue is “how much you are loved”. I have only known you for a few short months yet your the great guy who says alot of things that realy help me and has a great, alien avitar. I can ony imagine how much your family really cares for you. Its funny how only now that I have a “view from out of the box” can I see how I really was when I was inside. If I were still a TBM and you were my brother, I would probably cry myself to sleep at night and do anything to get you back! f4h1
edit—-great letter cwald and especially the last paragraph–
“I think you’d be as aware as I am that that we have many people who are members of the church who do not have some burning conviction as to its origins, who have some other feeling about it that is not as committed to foundational statements and the premises of Mormonism. But we’re not going to invite somebody out of the church over that any more than we would anything else about degrees of belief or steps of hope or steps of conviction. … We would say: “This is the way I see it, and this is the faith I have; this is the foundation on which I’m going forward. If I can help you work toward that I’d be glad to, but I don’t love you less; I don’t distance you more; I don’t say you’re unacceptable to me as a person or even as a Latter-day Saint if you can’t make that step or move to the beat of that drum.” … We really don’t want to sound smug. We don’t want to seem uncompromising and insensitive”. –Jeffrey Holland
