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Welcome Columbo. I’ll give you some pointers as a former athiest leaning agnostic but I’m not really sure of what to tell you that might not offend an atheist or leaning agnostic.
I’m sure you’ll find plenty of athiests on the mormon internet or agnostics. Most athiests I have ever met say they never believed but that’s a crock, nine times out of ten you’ll catch them in an angry moment and they spill out that a, b, c, or d happened and why would a loving god let bad things happen to a, b, c, or d. Then we hear “Oh when something good happens it’s a miracle and you give God credit.”
I’m saying this because StayLDS is a friendly crowd. There are other “recomended” sites full of p— and vinegar and will give you all the backing you’ll ever want. They’ll tell you whatever you want to hear and commiserate with enough tears to fill an ocean. They can’t see they have become the dogmatic, hypocritical, blind, and negative force they claim the LDS church to be, or faith of any kind for that matter. They basically create thier own religion of anti-mormonism/religion and don’t realize it.
Basically do whatever it takes to be true to yourself. If athiesm is truely your path and makes you happy follow it. However remember that just because someone tells you what you may want to hear at any given moment, they don’t always have a pure intent. Many times they just want to drag you down to thier level of misery and dispair.
I have a smart phone I read scripture from, I take notes. Sometimes I draw. Sometimes I entertain the kids around me so long as it doesn’t bother the parents that thier kids aren’t 100% reverent. I enjoy SM generally and DW and I rarely go for more. Sometimes I fall asleep but not regularly. I just don’t let others bug me or tick me off the way some others do. This was talked about on NOM and I swear half of the people over there are going to give themselves a freakin stroke. “IT IS JUST FREAKIN CHURCH PEOPLE!” “LEARN TO SAY NO!” seriously if you can’t handle more than SM just say no and go home. It’s a free country, It’s not work. If you really don’t believe anymore take a nap, the secular humanist non-existant nothing won’t mind or your napping.
Another thought is keep a journal write down litterally what you’re feeling there in that moment. There are so many times where I’ve literally used SM to surf the internet on my Droid. You can frankly use the time to just play with your baby if you have one. I guess it depends on your ward but church is quite a valuable piece of time for me to multi-task when things get boring.
Brian Johnston wrote:In some form or another, we are divine beings, of the same substance and nature as the force that organized and creates further organization in the universe (aka “God).
By that, I think Pure Mormonism contains this idea that takes people’s thought in a different direction than the rest of Christianity. We are not creatures that God created for some whim of a purpose (like just to worship this being, or as some form of pets). We are a part of God, co-existent with whatever God is.
This took on more specific definition through theological speculation — kingdoms, a pre-existence story, etc.
If there were a sole issue for why I stay in the church this would be it. This is one thing I love about the church.
I’m really cautious about giving credence to the statement bishops are prophets of a ward. Quickly, w/o too many details, I have seen this phrase go VERY bad when put to practice. I’ve seen even a very cosmopolitan ward go badly even to this day the entire stake has had more than one GA have to come down and whoop some on this particular stake. BTW this is not a MorCor stake either and has had some very weird dynastic BS, and frankly apostatsy that it’s Northern sister city, which is very liberal I might add, kind of smirks when this stake is mentioned by those who know. So yes the idea when looked upon in a certain light it can be a good thing. With as many disagreements I have with much of the church as a whole, I do see a need for the bretheren to take care of business when things get too far.
For me no. For others maybe. Honestly I just rely on faith. I’ve given up on trying to prove anything after years of combating myself. I believe I know x,y,z, but as far as proof nope can’t prove it. It works for me, maybe not others, but it’s not my job. 
I think maybe you may want to incorporate that the eternal family is both a mother and father or husband and wife and that with that goal in mind. I never make any big decision without talking about it with my wife and frankly I don’t think most LDS men really do make biggies without talking about it. You may also, assuming you do, talk about decisions made between you and your other half and or good examples of loved ones making cooperative, well informed decisions. 
I don’t agree with the supposition of much of the Mormon dissentent is control. To say that the church is this big bad boogie man is false. Mormonism despite all the rhetoric and cynisim IS NOT a cult. Anyone can leave at any time. So then comes the speech about divorce and family, etc. If it is so controlling then why not get your family out? I think control is present on the part of many in the church but to blow it out of purportion as SOME do is rediculous. Especially on the part of those who are out of the church but seemingly come back for more, just to stir the proverbial crap for those of us who are truely struggling because we care about our faith and church. Cadence my statement isn’t directed to or at you. On the contrary I would suggest that many like all of us here get bombarded with BS from people with agenda further complicating matters of the heart, spirit and mind.
I won’t go on and on about my testimony of scripture. It just makes no sense to me that God would give an answer booklet to you if life is to be a test. It also does nothing to progress ones eternal knoledge. Scripture is a learning aid and guide but not an instruction manual. Scriptoral debate on what something says gives me a headache sometimes but maybe that’s the point. The unspecificity gives scripture a timeless relavence that enables it to trancend time, people, and culture. cwald wrote:Gentlemen – I appreciate every post on this thread. I could quote everyone of them and say “yep, that’s what I think…”
I can relate to the guilt and the joy of being a cafeteria mormon. I’ve been in that place where members and and family have accused me of being “apostate” for being a cafeteria mormon – and I’ve felt real pain and guilt for it, and I have also had some brief moments where I’ve felt great joy and relief going to church knowing that I don’t have to swallow the whole hook and sinker – and just bask in the spirit and do what I have to do to keep god alive in my own home. The days of feeling “good” rather than “bitter” are getting more and more — thanks folks for your help navigating this stage 4!
CWald I like your post. I think the toughest thing about being at the buffet is sometimes you have to sit alone. Sometimes you have to let others think that the crab in the salad is isn’t imitation. The hardest part of being at the buffet is that you may have to wait for a seat. It makes me scream sometimes when I’m in between NOMs and TBMs at the buffet and one says mozzrella sticks are Itallian, the other says they’re not, when the truth is they’re food and they taste good with or without sauce.
I would say take things slow. Really take time to research the stuff you hear and read. One thing I have really, really noticed in “outside” Mormonism is that there are a lot of axes to grind. There is big tendency to replace old idols with new. Make sure that you don’t convert to “NOMism” a lot of people give certain sites and authors too much credibility. IMO staylds.com is the best site to discuss and explore in relatively calm waters. You will also find that support is fleeting if you don’t tow a certain political or social lines. The most importiant thing to remeber is the people, places, and things you love and bring you joy. Thanks Sam. Yep that about sums up what I heard on C2CAM. Same guy too.It is interesting. Thanks Heber!
Sam If you really look at it, the CoC is the original church. I’m speaking of protestanesque in reference to let’s say Bushman or Dehlin (just hypothetical examples for my analogy) were to go “Martin Luther” or Uchtdorf broke away and started a branch of Mormonism. As far as the moon landings go I’ve heard plenty, and it is good stuff, but I still think we went. I’m a Coasty, my first-born might end up being named Art or George
😆 perhaps Nighthawk.I can’t remember which prophet said it, but one said we’d never go to the moon. So in a manner of speaking that may actually have been prophetic.
The struggle between conservative and liberal faith will always exist with the ebb and flow of time. The thought that as we progress technologically speaking will never replace religion. It may modify it but never replace it as there will always be unexplained phenomenea regardless of scientific discovery. If you look at science itself it’s like a religion the old replaces the new constantly with few absolutes. There is always some form or reaction to any major change in any given faith. It has happened even in our own church I saw a factoid that said there were 400 divisions in Mormonism of it’s period in history. Maybe a century from now there will be protestantesque brands of Mormonism. Who really knows. I think however that as long as there is some form of mainstream faith there will be some form of fundamentalism. In fact there still is a Flat Earth Society, and a newer but more known theory that the moon landing is a hoax. All it takes is for one person to call BS and get enough people to listen to create a fundamentalist movement. Hmmm that reminds me look at the Jedi religion in Austrailia. I think most claim it as a snub to religion or government establishment to call themselves Jedi but there is a small group that claims the Star Wars movies are a sort of prophetic vision of George lucas but he doesn’t know it himself and that it is not simply an awesome story. I wish I knew the link when I heard about it it was like a blurb or something I heard on Coast to Coast AM.
LOL yes! I whole-heartedly agree. The only thing I dissagree with was the NOM reference. I like a lot of NOMs and maybe it’s just me, but it’s just gotten too negative. I find myself more and more posting here than there. I’ve almost considered cancelling my membership there as I feel I’ve totally outgrown it spiritually. It’s kind of like hanging out at a bar when you don’t drink anymore. 
I’ve said this many times, on many boards, and on many threads. I think the beauty and real purpose of scripture is that it is a multi-tool if we use it properly. I don’t think anyone can decypher the meaning with just words or just the spirit. The scriptures I believe are written by design to make you ponder them and think about them by reading and studying them over and over. The same passage can and may give multiple answers to multiple questions. I simply don’t believe they were written this way by accident. I think this is another good reason for a scripture journal and writing notes in the margins as we study. One day a scripture might mean this another day that yet still be true in both instances.
