[findingmyownfooting]

hawkgrrrl wrote:

I had asked in the late 80s what the question about associating with other groups meant, and I was told it specifically referred to polygamous sects (even though the question doesn’t state that), and that it had been added because there were several active splinter groups at that time.

That’s interesting

[findingmyownfooting]

I think learning the history of things like this topic are interesting. It’s our history and we should know it. I also think it provides hope that here can be changes in the future and leverage for people to either agree of disagree with the questions asked. IMO they always have been, and always will be, made-up questions by people who feel they are doing what Christ would want even if there are others who strongly disagree.

Seeing the evolution of the church is entertaining though.

[findingmyownfooting]

canadiangirl wrote:

Sometimes our church has weird rules.

+1

[findingmyownfooting]

According to my husband who used to serve in a Bishopric it is highly recommended to avoid calling Bishops who have been divorced but if it seem necessary (like there not being another choice) they will do it. Our last ward had a bishop for over 10yrs until they finally just desolved it because there was not enough priesthood and no one to replace him. There was an active hight priest that had been divorced though.

[findingmyownfooting]

OK even though I didn’t necessarily agree with the divorce and bishop issue I had no idea seminary teachers had the same rules. The holding sins against people when there is no danger to others is just wrong. This is not common knowledge and many have been hurt when old sins are brought up again that they thought where water under the bridge. Also with divorce I’m sure members aren’t handed a list of all the places they will not be allowed to serve in. This is just on of those, shake my head and remind myself of why I believe this is a man made church then move on and remind myself why I stay.

[findingmyownfooting]

If I were Bishop it would mean that women had the priesthood (outside the temple) 😯

There was some mention about women being involved with baby blessings. It is perfectly acceptable for a mother to hold a young child while “Dad” or who ever else gives a blessing so I don’t see why baby blessings should be different. I’ve also heard someone use the words “those of us in the circle with authority” or something like that when a less active father was involved. I have administered a blessing before when my DH was out of town. My brothers were invited into the circle when my Dad was ordained a high priest even thought they were only elders which I don’t think is generally done. I think there’s a lot one can get away with if given the position to do so.

[findingmyownfooting]

I was also uplifted by Pres. Monson’s talk but wished he had focused more on the non-visible differences. Thanks for pointing out that part of his talk flowerdrops.

[findingmyownfooting]

Wow. Regardless of the “reasons” it seemed to be a special experience and I think that’s what’s important. I always loved doing baptisms but have never done them since my endowment. Barriers kept standing in my way and I kind of gave up on the idea of doing them again until a little while ago. Then a barrier came to prevent me again and I still haven’t. Your experience has inspired me to try again

[findingmyownfooting]

That conversation will hopefully enhance her temple experience and lead to it being a positive one. Thanks for sharing.

[findingmyownfooting]

Old-Timer wrote:

Solicit suggestions for sacrament meeting talks and discretionary lessons from the membership. Focus Sacrament Meeting talks on worship topics and confine non-worship discretionary topics to the 3rd hour.

I can’t stand it when Sacrament meeting is used for “lessons” on cleaning the chapel, genealogy or the preach my gospel book. It’s soooo boring and inappropriate during a time that should be dedicated to a worship or call to Jesus.

[findingmyownfooting]

SilentDawning wrote:

So, I think one needs to guard and enforce that “family first, Church second philosophy”.

I hope we can do this. I think this is really what DH wants. I guess I still have some issues with braking away from what I think I “should” do (when it comes to my family as a whole)and moving onto what I want to do and think is best for my family.

[findingmyownfooting]

This sort of surfaced when DH said he wasn’t interested in GC. I just feel bad about missing it. For the last few years I’ve put together packets for the kids where they will check off words they hear or “colour the tie”. We then follow up with a FHE lesson review. I think the discussion have been positive for our children. I still believe in the value of prayer and reading scriptures as a family. DH does agree but his heart isn’t into it so I was feeling like I was pulling that one on my own. After our discussion, which started by having him read this post, he seemed to be more supportive. I don’t feel negative about NOM; I’m a member as well and would concider myself, by it’s offical definiton, one. However I don’t think that it’s been quite as helpful to my DH in working on a positive relationship with the church. It has really helped him through some rough spots though and it can be quite entertaining at times . It’s sort of a middle ground for people who want to be open to staying as well as open to leaving. I think he likes the “no pressure what ever you decide” approach and feels he is getting it there. I find being on the net very time consumming so I don’t often get on here. I drift between the two sites; I find they each serve different purposes for me.

I think I’m realizing that working with someone who may have different ideas about their level of involvment in the church takes comprimise. I need to be understanding of my DH and where he is coming from just as much as he is trying to do the same for me.

I knew that coming on here would help me work throught this (we’ll I guess it’s a work in progress really)

[findingmyownfooting]

We were away a lot during the summer, often visiting other wards. Also I talked to some one once many months ago about polyandry who is now questioning the church (she married into a very prominent [in the church] family). It doesn’t seem like we are being made a project. I’m not sure if anyone really knows what to do with us. We’re not wavering (leaders were coming to us not us to them), in fact we are very confident and I think that caused others to feel uncomfortable with us. I was told to be patient to those who are having a difficult time who have noticed changes in me (I went out on a date with DH wearing a “non-garment” worthy dress and posted the pic of us on facebook). They are used to “fixing people” but we since we don’t think we are “broken” they are a bit at a loss. It seems like we are just being left alone which is fine. I’m trying more to focus on how I view myself. I quite enjoy spending some one on one time with DH during SS walking around the outside of the building and DH loves the discussions he get the high council engaged in.

Sorry that was a bit off topic from my original question. I just thought it might be helpful to see where I’m coming from a bit.

There are definitely “clicks” or “groups'” in our ward. I’m moving out of the one I was in and entering a new one, one that I don’t know has even been present before. The youth in our ward do notice differences among each other that do depend on their parents and the group they are seen as being in. I’m the activity days leader and I see this already. My DD doesn’t completely fit with the others girls so I do worry about YW’s. I want to make this work and knowing that DH wants to be united on this is encouraging. I don’t know how it will be until I’m there so maybe I need to just relax and cross that bridge when it comes.

[findingmyownfooting]

I know that getting over what others think is important. It’s just easier said then done. I have a real great Bishop and that is helpful. He has given me the space I need. DH and he corresponded for a bit. The Bishop has basically said that he accepts us on what ever level we are on and he is not going to make a fuss about it. I work indirectly with some people who I have been told have “discussed” me. It’s just hard being comfortable with that. Not knowing what assuptions they are making is difficult.

SilentDawning you talk about how your wife lets you serve in what capacity you want. I’ve realized having my DH make decisions about his involvement based mainly on me is unfair to him. I did have a conversation with him last night that went quite well. He is an active member on NOM and is quite comfortable there. I’ve suggested this site but he’s not very interested. If it wasn’t for my family ties or our children I don’t thing he would stay. One thing he said was that we are in this together. He will not be the Dad that stays at home watching tennis while his wife takes the kids to church. The church’s influence and our practise of it’s teachings, has built our relationship strong and for that I am very grateful.

I struggle with not

SilentDawning wrote:

expecting your kids to adopt your own orientation toward the Church

But you’re right if they do embrace the Gospel

Quote:

the worst they will become is non-drinking, non-smoking, non-drug using, chaste, and faithful-to-spouse adults

However they may also become adults to are obsessed with perfection, use guilt, and other unhealthy methods to teach lessons and feel they can never measure up.

[findingmyownfooting]

SilentDawning wrote:

What concerns me is that you don’t have anything to replace the LDS faith with at this point, and the dislocation that will ensue by saying “We used to believe [insert Mormon theology here] but now we don’t believe it anymore.” That would rock a kids world, in my view….stay involved for the stability, and the continued perception of your children that their parents have truth and knowledge and can be relied upon for answers. I’m concerned that a sudden or gradual break may lessen their belief in their parents as effective guides and mentors – on religious and other issues if you make a sudden change like this….

I think that each child and each parent are different. I have actually used this approach with my daughter and it was received very well. I think it’s OK to tell your children that you used to believe something because of what you were taught but now you have learn new things that have change how you see things. I think it is an example to your kids that they too have the right to allow their beliefs to evolve.

Take it slowly and deal with the here and now. I know that’s not very comforting but I think it’s the best approach. Like I said before I am also struggling with this. The youth years are my concern but I have about 1 1/2 yrs still and who knows maybe it won’t become a problem like my mind has conjured up. It’s hard not focusing on all the concerns/contradictions we have but like mentioned already if we do that we overlook the benefits and positives the church has to offer.

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