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Thank you all so very much for your advice and relating your personal experience with this. I’ve been under A LOT of stress about this but decided to begin the process. While we were driving we were having a discussion about scripture study with our children. Despite what I may think, I still want to raise my kids in the Church, have them go on missions, and live the Gospel. True or not it does bring happiness and helps you become a better person. I told her that my doubts were getting worse and scripture study may do me some good as well. I then went into it a ‘little’ bit and it didn’t even phase her. She has been realizing where I’m at (probably due to my increasing cynicism) and said she would support me. I’ll tell more later cause she just got home. This is great. It’s so nice to see that others are in my same position and are experiencing similar problems as I am. You guys are offering a great service here. I looked around a little more on the site and have found comments from doubters that echoes how I feel. There is a common theme. Confusion. When you’re grounded in something it is easy to make decisions because we know what is right and the consequences for our actions as well as the enormous rewards that await the faithful. But when that foundation is gone we’ve got to re evaluate our thoughts and actions. Why refrain from temptations if it is not a sin?I’m not talking about obvious wrongs like murder out robbery, but sins not crime like drinking. I’m trying to hold onto what little faith I have but if there is no God them why wouldn’t I occasionally drink?
What are your thoughts on paschals wager?I relied on that for a while but doubts seem to be winning and I ask myself why bother?
I’m still trying to live the gospel the best I can but most of my black and whites have become grays now. I am living it mostly for my wife’s sake because I don’t want to hurt her.
I also have just heard from an acquaintance that as he was going through major trials in his life that God left him on his own and he was alone for the biggest trials off his life but he endured and now feels closer to God than ever. What if we just dropped the ball in our test and passed the opportunity to get stronger? The not knowing is driving me Crazy. If I had just a tiny bit of instruction from God I’d be set. It’s he silent because this is my test that I’m failing and looking for signs or is he silent because there is no one there?
Thanks for listening to my rants
Yeah it’s a constant train wreck in my head, I know. But thanks for giving me an outlet for my nonsense. New light, you bring up a good point. There are several instances in most people’s lives that are unexplained like the ones you describe. Perhaps there is a power of sorts guiding is occasionally which would help me with the TR question. But, it is difficult to focus on the anomaly as being truth when so many other factors say the opposite. I’m sorry I’m such a naysayer but this is what goes through my head daily. As soon as I find something for me to grasp onto that would help me have faith, the counter evidence comes rolling in and I realize that I’m focusing on only the10%off the info and not the 90%. But I guess that its what faith is, right? Then what does faith in God look so similar to faith in Santa Claus?
Ugh… So much back and forth, its making me crazy. I guess this is what cognitive dissonance feels like.
Why couldn’t there just be -some- evidence of God? Either Satan is doing an excellent job or I’m fishing my way through a fairy tale that I want to be true. I wish God would have given me something when I begged him to let me know he was real.
You guys are awesome!I wasn’t sure what to expect when I came here and have actually only heard negative things about this forum, but now I know that those rumours are wrong. Just FINALLY telling someone instead of keeping it all bottled up inside is such a relief! I’ve heard so much good advice that I will take. I love the comment that quoted the new testament. I believe Lord, help thou mine unbelief. I’ve prayed this many times in tears before getting tired of what I feel is just talking to myself.I’ve started asking God for this again. I hope he hears me this time. ..
In answer to a question that was asked, I’m having a problem with the existence of any higher power, so it its difficult to answer with my own definition of God. If they asked me about science that would be an easy answer, but so far, after taking a step back from trying to force God into my life I’ve been able to rationally explain most if not all off spiritual experiences. This is my biggest problem. lack of actual, unique spiritual experiences in the LDS church. Most every belief system, whether it’s religious or not, has an almost identical experiences if the people choose to believe it. I’ve seen a lady year up and bear her testimony of MLM scheme, along with all the good feelings LDS claim are the Spirit. I don’t buy the justification that the spirit is universal and bearing witness to truth. It’s a multi level marketing trap for heaven’s sake!
If my doubts were purely doctrinal I don’t think I’d have much of a problem, but my doubts are about the center of religion and how God speaks to us. They day to read your s scriptures and pray to have faith but if you dedicate time, study and prayer to anything in an attempt to believe it odds are you’re going to believe it x no matter what it is. So I’m kinda stuck. Do I try self deception, our try to find truth?I understand its a loaded question but that is how I see it right now.
In all my doubts I feel like I either am a doubting Thomas our have the greatest faith ever. Despite all I know and understand I still am trying to choose to believe.
You guys are doing a great work and keeping us doubters a place to vent and associate with others like us. Love you guys!
