Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Quote:
“There really are some uniquely Mormon concepts that I think the world is better for having, even if there are more that are shared to varying degrees and some that I hope are pruned from our vineyard”.
I fully agree with this statement. I love the teachings, in most aspects, but I struggle immensely with the way that the church teaches it’s youth, especially in the Idaho/Utah area. It’s part of the reason that I try so hard not to live in that area ever again.
Well I knew they weren’t the same, but I guess I’ve always been taught that you can’t have one with out the other, probably why I feel like a horrible Mormon I now that this post was a month or so ago and I might be a little late, but I’m glad that it was posted because frankly thats a huge struggle for me, feeling like you can’t speak to anyone but your dining to scream about something, anything. The truth is that I found out my loneliness is very much linked to 1: Being stagnant in life (as was previously mentioned) When my life gets monotonous and nothing new happens, I’m mopey, I get great sleep during these times. Right now in my life my highs are when I move to another city, to a new project. I love that first week, but then I realize it’s just another project, and the flare is gone. I’ve tried things like exploring the area. You know “tourism”. I learn what the culture there is all about, eat like the locals do. but eventually despite all my efforts, I get very depressed. Which allows some pretty scary thoughts to take over.
2: Being LDS in a group of non-LDS guys, and being an ex partier. That’s my hardest part, because I hear all these wonderful talks given about someone who rose above the challenge of everyday life, and chose the mormon way despite the pressure. Blah! I love those stories, I really do. but not everyone gets the feel goods from all that. There have been multiple times the phrase “nah man, I don’t smoke, drink, etc” has come out of my mouth, even a few times I’ve broken up with a pretty little girl cause she needed something I wasn’t willing to give, but despite all that, I never got the feel goods from it, I know I was strong, but I never felt rewarded for my efforts, I just felt really alone, and depression took control, and event one drink got me accepted…
I dont know thats my rant on the issue, All I know is that I gained a really bad habit of blaming my depression on other things, Ive spent years blaming it on my divorce, and I can say that Prayer helped me in that case. When I sincerely prayed about what I was feeling during my divorce, prayed about my worries, my fears, i mean just really put my whole heart into it, It helped a lot, It helped keep me on the edge some nights. and now I stop blaming things on her, I just stop, search through my current life, see whats missing and focus on fixing it. Progress in any aspect of life is a good cure for this I truly believe, whether it’s work, church, or family it will help
I really do like hearing things like this because it shows how much the church as a whole believes in repentance and to forgive and forget. It’s one of the things that I have loved a lot about the church is that, repent and move on. Some processes might take a little bit longer, some not so long, but in the end, we just move on, learn and move on. thanks for sharing this story. I really do enjoy being transient, I do. I just fear that with the lifestyle I have I can”t be as active in the church as I feel I should be. I mean I have started doing my personal studies, but I never feel like thats enough. I feel like in order to be a “good” active mormon I need a calling or something. Other than that haha traveling is awesome! I love seeing all the different cultures and stuff. Even in the United States it’s diverse. See I’m not anyway looking to date, I have my own personal things I’m working through. Moving to Seattle and not traveling anymore being the biggest one. But friends help make it a lot easier to be comfortable in the church, unfortunately friends also make it easier to stop going to church, I just had a lack of friends in one area, and an abundance in the other. Thats why I’m trying to change that, but its really hard to make friends in person, when you move all the time, eventually I just gave up trying Friends, no. I’ve lost all my friends since I began to travel. And its been awhile since I’ve attended. Once I started drinking I didn’t really feel I belonged Back then I had a good friend to support me, and keep me focused on what’s right. But we don’t speak anymore, practically estranged from one another at this point Young, single, LDS and divorced, and I didn’t serve a mission, so my chances in the mormon dating pool are either sink, or just get out it feels like. I fell away from the church around 16, and began taking the wrong roads. I started going back to church shortly after my divorce, and stayed pretty good, even got my priesthood reestablished. However I didn’t take an account that with my new job, and brewing dark thoughts, my loneliness would take me to new rock bottoms. So I’m trying to at least conquer the loneliness part someone.
