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MayB you just summed up my church existence for the last 3 1/2 years. I serve as the president right now. Love,love the kids…but the training, Ward Council, extra BS is very draining. I will take active children anytime. Once in WC going out to eat as a group after a high pressure monthly ward temple trip was a commandment.
Wearing nylons…commandment.
Sitting in the chapel, not the overflow…commandment.
I could go on and on, but I am finding it irritating to remember all the added commandments. Completely frustrating.
Origami is my husband. I am the more believing side of our marriage. I haven’t analyzed everything that has been said. People are so articulate with their wording and I see things a little rosier than some. Living in this right now though but my first thoughts to you DarkJedi are: 1. She has been married to you for at least 10 years through your faith crisis. She probably has resolved many of her concerns about how things will go. For instance raising kids, what happens at tithing settlement, will you support her calling/belief. I would actually encourage you to ask her if she would like to know. Chances are that she would like to support you and help you. It has to be an elephant in the room sometimes.
2. The advice that has been given about respecting her beliefs is huge. She doesn’t need you to change her mind. Share your belief but also allow her the agency to choose her way regardless if it is different. You would probably want to gauge her knowledge on some topics as well. Don’t burst unnecessary bubble.
My husband mentioned that I am a freethinker, but we really don’t have issues about the same things. I have made it work for myself and have never experienced the anger that some do. I respect my spouses anger, but I don’t have to agree with him to listen and say “I still love you even if we are different”.
3. We, as a couple were in a really good place when this crisis started for my husband. I can think back on a few times in our 20 year marriage that it would have been rough or even catastophic. We are committed to each other and really are best friends. We haven’t always been and the results of timing are probably huge. Mostly I just needed to know that because of his change of belief, that commitment and love did not change. He loves my kids, he loves me and is doing the best to follow his heart with his own personal integrity staying intact.
4. StayLDS has been a gift! I don’t know how open her thinking is but this is a place where I have been more able to understand my spouse. I have looked at other places, and for me this is somewhere that problems can be solved and respect is given to those posters. The negativity in other places oozes out of their words.I still don’t know of anyone personally that has gone through this but it has helped to not feel alone.
Long, but I hope this helps you. Best of luck!
Ha ha ha, I got your joke Sheldon. This was actually front page news and several days of articles. The editorials were my favorite. I haven’t seen the new movie yet but I can’t say I am sad that Michale Ballam isn’t starring again. I bet he is sad though.
Thanks for the laugh.
Thank you for taking the time to write these out. I read your lesson weekly and refer back to them often. You have such a calming voice. Sincerely, thank you! Wuwei….ha, ha, ha. Your post had me laughing. Sounds memorable at least.I wasn’t all those things but I was some. Maybe why we had so much fun, we weren’t looking to manipulate kids, just wanted them to feel loved and enjoy some part of the experience. At night we did some debriefing on all the stories kind of like we have to do after church. An added bonus I didn’t expect wase the best part of the entire thing was to spend time working with my spouse. I feel we would have been awesome pioneers. Husband even kept his cool in the midst of his faith crisis, may be one of the only places.
I loved being Ma during a Trek. I cannot believe the organizers you have with that information. Not sure where you are going but where we went the owners of the land insisted on water for the kids. I took a full bucket of extra food and handed it out liberally. Whether you search or not, you can tell if phones, ect. are brought. This may be the only time I think our stake got something right. My husband had a harder time than I did with the stories along the way, but as a “family” we talked about how we could apply the lesson or whatever happened in life today. We also made it a point to be respectful of pioneer heritage as well as anyone’s journey. There are pioneers everywhere.
I would say to make it whatever you want when you are with your kids. We both truly loved our kids and that was the memorable part, not all the “stuff”. The women’s pull was really cool for us to work through. I know my husband does not feel that way from the men’s side.
I am currently the Primary Pres in our ward, not in Utah but close enough. We have Stake baptisms on a Saturday monthly. Like Ray said, it is extra work from an organizational standpoint to have them each individually. There are roughly 150 kids baptized in our stake yearly. I know when my parents were baptized 50 years ago that they just went to the church and the Priest Quorum baptized whoever was there. No family was there for either one. Until the last handbook came out our stake was insisting that the confirmation be done in Sacrament Meeting the following day. I am so happy they decided to lay off on that pressure/coerce and
allowthe kids to have that done when they wanted. I have often felt the stake leaders have a picture of closeness within the stake that is unrealistic. Bottom line is that it is just one more meeting for them to attend. Regarding Primary songs…..entirely different thread. I have strong opinions on that one and wonder how much experience you have serving in Primary. That about sums it up. The ‘historic meeting’ netted out with:
– more time on social media
– less time tracting
– guided tours of the chapel
I’d have to say that the call I’d want the least right now is WML…..[/quote]
I wonder how much trouble they will have with bored missionaries or ones who find a way to chat with their friends on Facebook. I worry that the WML may become a babysitter.
cwald wrote:GodisLove wrote:I just sent you the same message 15 times or not at all.
Optimism is nice. I am probably due to read Pollyanna again. Hope is one of those things I have had to learn to strive for.. I do love my version of the gospel and try to mix it in with the church part.
Not at all. Do you have a question on how to use the PM feature, or is it a technical glich
Try clicking on my name, and look for the prompt to “send private message” Make sure to hit “submit” and not save.
I noticed you deleted most of your post, so I deleted it out of my post where I quoted you. I suspect you are not wanting to risk getting outed…and I don’t blame you.
I believe a glitch. You really would have received 20 of the same message. I think it just went through for real.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness. Sometimes I get in the frame of mind we all believe this way and remember we don’t. Sorry to get off topic everyone.
Reflexzero wrote:mackay11 wrote:GodisLove wrote:I do love my version of the gospel and try to mix it in with the church part.
I suppNice approach. I’m struggling a little with that. I feel like the gospel in my head is fine. Then I spend 3 hours at church on Sunday.
I no longer attend church on Sunday, instead I attend 3 hours of meetings, and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
I love Primary. Maybe that is where it is at? I attend meetings-crazy long Ward Councils, Stake Leadership, Sacrament Meeting. Primary never feels like that for me. I also don’t feel like I am indoctrinating. We (awesome level headed counselors) try hard to make sure we are not, when they go home that is another story.
I just sent you the same message 15 times or not at all. Optimism is nice. I am probably due to read Pollyanna again. Hope is one of those things I have had to learn to strive for.. I do love my version of the gospel and try to mix it in with the church part.
I was trying to be optimistic. Cwald you sound like my husband. I heard some positive, but not sure if the information was “unprecedented”.
I too was dissappointed with the lack of any new announcement. I did enjoy watching all those missionaried wiggle while the cameras scanned them. Kind of reninded me of my Primary kids. I do feel concern for all those kids with the mental image they have of conquering the world. I too like Ray was hoping to hear they would be doing more service. I do have hopes that they will have direction to do so coming from their area seventy. They seemed to make a point about following the seventy, which could be great or super scary. Nervous for our area. I believe the guilt and coercion will be laid on thick. I am so hoping people heard the part about “invititing out of love”.
I should have commented before but like Ray said, I read these topics and use them as my support and don’t often say much. I feel like my brain is not as articulate as some of you giants. However, I would just like to say how great that you are able to share these talks in your current calling. I serve in leadership right now and WISH leaders whom I know feel and think this way would have the guts to say their feelings. I speak my mind plenty in Ward Councils and stake meetings but the comments are not as far reaching as a sacrament meeting talk. For the person who was upset and tattled there had to have been way more who appreciated it. If it were in my ward I would have had to do a “amen brother” from the congregation.So for all of us who wish they could say what you do-THANK YOU! :clap:
