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The Rules wrote:
The List of Don’tsNo profanity – including derogatory words associated with racism, sexual orientation, etc.
No explicit sexual discussions.No specific descriptions of the signs and tokens from the temple ceremony. General discussion about the content and nature of the ceremonies are fine.
Please do not start discussions that lead to a debate with the results of finding the one correct answer to a problem. Topics like this will probably be moderated.
Topics and comments should not portray the beliefs of others (traditional Mormon, non-believers or those of other religions) in a disrespectful manner. This violates the mission and spirit of our community, and content like that will probably be moderated or removed.
Very well then.
The original intention of this particular thread was really just to introduce myself. It later became a means to have a road map. I do welcome other discussions and tangents as my life at times feels like one large tangent.
I enjoy reading your posts as they are very well written and well thought out. I also enjoy your personal insights of what you thought back when VS. what you think or feel now. I enjoy being able to see a life’s journey written in a condensed form.SilentDawining wrote:In my view, it is there to cement the growth of the church. JS, BY and subsequent leaders realized that one key to internal growth in the church is stable families. So, the faster they can get you married (young) having children immediately, and committing to a high stakes relationship on which your salvation depends, the better it is for this internal growth. The one-year penalty is another unfeeling case in point that puts the church’s priorities higher than the personal happiness and even spiritual well-being/salvation of the individual.
What is the one-year penalty. Are there multiple one-year penalty’s? What exactly are you referring to in this statement.I know that your example was just an example to make a point. However I felt the need to go into more detail for the sake of distancing myself from what was listed within the example. I respect and appreciate your thoughts and insights. I also appreciate your willingness to take a break from your day to help moderate and maintain this website.For now though I’m into project lose weight for the NAVY. I’ve been trying to exercise a bit everyday. Some days are better than others. I’ve also been switching up my diet. I’ve been taking green tea pills and will also drink green tea from time to time. My Bishop knows of this. I hope to measure up at the friendly requiting office within a week or two. Hopefully I will be down to the Navy requirements by then.
Thanks for the support thus far.
😈 GREEN
APPLES:angel: SilentDawning wrote:GREENAPPLES wrote:I also feel that a couple really needs to be sexually compatible with each other. It is probably better to find that out before marriage rather than after.
Sure waiting until marriage to have sex is honorable. It sure would be unfortunate to find out that my wife and I aren’t sexually compatible at all.
You know, when I was in my early twenties and even as a teenager, I would’ve reacted violently to this statement. But having married someone who was incapable of physical intimacy for over a decade, and how it really altered my personality and life the way I guess I let it affect me, I see the wisdom in what greenapples has to say here. As counter-intuitive it is to LDS thought.
I’m not sure what the answer is, although at one time I thought a medical test or something might be in order for both couples to make sure they are at least capable of intercourse. That way chastity is preserved, while protecting the couples from a lifetime of celebacy and hardship, as it did to myself.
Sure, the law allows anulments — but can you get a temple marriage anulled? I’ve never heard it and doubt it exists. And if it did, it would not exist without major hassle.
To be honest probably in my teens and early 20’s my thought process on such things was much different on this matter as well. I find it very much inspiring that you were able to find away to make your relationship work those many years.Old-Timer wrote:SilentDawning wrote:Can you get a temple marriage anulled?
Yes, but it’s not easy – and, frankly, I’m not sure if it would be granted with a request from only one spouse on the grounds that the other spouse can’t have sex. I’m not saying it should or shouldn’t be, but I’m not sure it would be – and, intellectually, I can understand why leaders would shy away from it.
Think of the implications about allowing sexual incompatibility to be grounds for temple divorce:
I wouldn’t want anyone asking for details about exactly why my wife and I were sexually incompatible, but I also wouldn’t want to be granting temple divorces simply because, for example, a man wanted anal sex or bondage but his wife didn’t want it. At the very least, I would want them to get counseling and a civil divorce first – and then I wouldn’t oppose a temple annulment.
This one is tricky for me, and I’m not sure there is an easy, clear answer. I think any solution is going to be messy with unwanted affects – just like about everything else in life.
Your Example was quite the jump from where I was coming from Ray. Maybe I should have been a little more specific in my original post on this matter. There are women who really don’t like sex. There are women who are A sexual but get married because they feel it is the right thing to do. There are women who physically can’t have sex. There are women who are highly allergic to natural fluids from a man. There are women who feel that sex should only be used for baring children and once the agreed limit is complete she goes into refrigerator mode for the rest of her life. I am well aware that there is more to a relationship than sex. With that said a good healthy relationship should also involve some intimacy. 50% of marriages will fail. It’s not always because of money. Men aren’t always the only ones who are unfaithful. If there was good communication about what is desired with intimacy there wouldn’t have been a desire to cheat because the needs could have been met and fulfilled.Once again I shall say that this is coming from a guy who is single. I have also seen plenty of divorces take place within my own family. Some of these were caused by their spouse not being faithful.When it comes to temple Cancellations they do have to go through the process of getting a civil divorce before the temple cancellation can occur.
I guess that’s all I really have to say about that.GREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] If one has no emotion that is actually a sign of depression. The bit of emotion felt could be caused by anxiety. I don’t know exactly what I would say. I think my talk would be on personal scripture study, which includes that quotes and talks from the prophets of the past. It is important to have a personal intellect and to decide for yourself what God’s plan is. Thomas S. Monson has a Tendency to speak in metaphors, poetic anecdotes and often talks about his past self in the third person. Perhaps he has spoken in the voice of God but had it hidden away in his labyrinth of story telling. I don’t mind Verbal prayer if I’m out in the wilderness. A prayer in my heart I gave up on a long time ago.
That was really cool of you to post this. Thanks for clearing some things up for me.
GREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] Heber13 wrote:I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.Â
Was this a quote from the breakfast club? Where does this saying originate?Oh and for the sake of keeping the cheesy jokes going:
MAY Flowers. What do May Flowers Bring?MAY Flowers brings . . . Pilgrims!
GREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] GREEN APPLES A.K.A. RED CROWN. Feel free to delete the invisible writing MOD but dont’ delete my NOTEGREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] [
Moderator note: Not everyone is technologically savvy who comes here to participate or lurk. Don’t use tricks to say things here. Don’t hide wording by changing color. Don’t play those types of games. No moderator here would delete your note. Invisible lettering will not be changed to a different color from now on. It will be deleted next time.] Welcome to the site :0) A little piece of advice with this site: If you take a break from your typing and come back to finish a post it is a good idea to go ahead and highlight and copy all of what you just wrote. Sometimes when you go idle the site likes to boot you off and it would be a shame to lose such wonderful thoughts that you had written. I make it a habit to go ahead and copy all of my posts before I send just in case.
This site seems like the right place for you. You have the desire to stay within the church.
Realistically I find it very inspiring for a member of a bishopric to have doubts and still remain. Just because you don’t fully believe in the things that you once did doesn’t make you a liar for choosing to fulfill your duties.
As mentioned since many of your friends and family are LDS it would be hard to fully leave this church. It seems like you had and still have good experiences in the church. There is nothing wrong with you remaining still. Perhaps in time you will find your own middle ground where you can feel comfortable within the church even with lack of true belief. Perhaps you will have a more figurative or appreciative belief in the overall teachings and morals of the church.
Feel free to post and participate in the forum. It seems that you have many thoughts and stories to share.
Welcome
GREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] Nephite wrote:I used to get bothered sometimes when someone would say “I know” when giving a testimony, but then I realized I can’t determine what someone knows or does not know. Spiritual knowledge is difference from scientific knowledge.
I think small children know better than any of us because they don’t complicate things. Maybe that is one way in which we need to become like children, for of such is the kingdom of God. As a child, I felt God’s love, so I knew He was real. I felt good in church, so I knew it is the true church.
I suppose a child might feel they know. Then again a child is very much in Fowler Stage 1 & 2.
I feel that an adult should say that they have faith or believe.
Roy wrote:Fair enough. I guess I was talking about living my life in preparation for the partner I would hope to someday marry. However, I said upfront that your life experience seems to have been very different than mine. You are the only person in a position to determine what (if anything) that works in my life has any applicability to your life. I can accept that.
Don’t get me wrong Roy I do appreciate your comments and thoughtfulness. I understand where you are coming from.
Now that I’m in my late 20s I see 21 year old girls as children without frontal brain lobes.
Many of the girls my age have been married and divorced or had a kid earlier in life with a boyfriend. They aren’t exactly the ideal Molly Mormon mold so I don’t feel bad that I’ve been tainted. I don’t feel bad if I end up being more tainted. I don’t fit the mold for the dream guy.
I am not an RM, I’ve done my share of drinking alcohol. I’ve been to casinos before.
As mentioned the girls closer to my age have had their share of personal fun outside the church as well. I feel that in general when a Mormon has chosen to do their own thing they go all out and get themselves into trouble.
I’m sure you are all aware of this and have probably seen this. Maybe the caution is to help prevent this.
I will have you know though that I have very strict rules to keep myself from going too crazy.
[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-angelic008.gif [/img] When I choose to go to the casino I only bring the money that I am willing to spend for entertainment. If that money is gone then I don’t get more. I usually play on the machines that have little cost with betting. I can usually play for a couple hours with just $10 for reasons that they have a tendency to let you win after awhile. Each time I win anything a point is put on my card. Those points can be used to buy food so I usually eat there as well. I don’t drink alcohol at the casino only water and soda.
[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-cool21.gif [/img] When I get home I change my clothes and take a shower. I wash my smokey smelling casino clothes ASAP
[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-merv/beerfunnel.gif [/img] When it comes to drinking thus far I only drink at home. I only drink at night when I’ve decided that I am done for the evening. I already know what it feels like to get drunk and I already know what a hangover feels like. I only drink enough to make me feel a little more than buzzed and I call it good. I hang out in my room. listen to music and sometimes doze off to sleep for a bit. It has been awhile since I’ve had a drink probably well over a month. I don’t need it but it helps smooth things over.
[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-hug010.gif [/img] If I did ever choose to drink at a bar I would make sure that it was either a short walk away or I would just have a taxi take me home.
I am opposed to meaningless sex and I insist on using safe sex.
[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex005.gif [/img] I’ve turned down plenty of sexual opportunities either because it would be meaningless or the girl for whatever reason didn’t want the use of a condom condom
[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-hug014.gif [/img] (This next part isn’t really a rule but more why I feel comfortable with the last rule)
If it’s a girl that I’ve know for a bit and she is cool with practicing safe sex I see nothing wrong with that.I also feel that a couple really needs to be sexually compatible with each other. It is probably better to find that out before marriage rather than after.
Sure weighting until marriage to have sex is honorable. It sure would be unfortunate to find out that my wife and I aren’t sexually compatible at all. Aside from that as mentioned earlier most girls my age even within the church would not truly be a virgin on the night of marriage.
These rules that I’ve set for myself ARE NOT just guidelines.
[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-green/greensmilies-030.gif [/img] I very much hold myself accountable and follow my own codes.GREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] (I’m typing the first few sentences in a scottish accent) I had a near death experience years ago when I was just an 11 year old Boy Scout a wee lad more wee than I am now. During me first outing for scouting I hit me noggin on on a beached log just after I fell off a cliff. Me noggin split the log in two pieces so I did some logging with me noggin but the wood would be no good use to me nor you.
(okay back to normal accent)
When I fell off a cliff and landed on the beach with my head smashing a log in two pieces everything went black. I heard one of my fellow scouts scream in a girly voice “He’s Dead!”
😆 I laugh at that part now.The next thing I knew I saw a birds eye view of my own body laying on the beach. The sun was out but it appeared quite dim at least dim compared to the glowing rings and orbs floating around me. I felt a little scared that I was clearly dead but at the same time I felt some what calm looking at the glowing rings and orbs around me. I was not sure what they were. Were these supposed to take me to my next destination? I saw no other spirits around me nor did I see any messenger to speak to me. I didn’t see a bright light to welcome me just bright glowing rings and orbs. There seemed to me far more rings than there were orbs.
As I floated about I noticed that I didn’t have any control as to where I floated. I seemed to just roam about high up in the sky like a seagull would do. I began to spin calming in circles counter clockwise. The spinning went faster and faster and FASTER! I spun I found that I went much lower to the ground closer to my body.
All the sudden I saw black. I heard one of the other boys calling my name. I eventually came too. my eyes were full of sand and my head really hurt bad. I eventually got up though.
We walked back to camp my Dad was furiously anger and wanted to know what happened.
I quickly shouted ” I FELL DOWN and HIT MY HEAD ON A LOG!”
A local EMT looked at me and did a first aid perception check. He asked me who the president was. He had me count backwards by a certain number sequence. He asked me if I knew what day it was. He asked me if I knew what year it was. I got all of these answers right. With the information I gave them they didn’t know that I hit my head falling off a cliff. I passed the test but I don’t think I was quite right. I probably should have gone to the hospital but I was not taken there.
I think I wasn’t sure if my spiritual experience of seeing my own body, glowing rings or orbs was real or not.
I was okay though I guess.
To be honest I’ve never felt pain quite the same after that. I’ve been hit in the head a number of times and got back up like it was nothing.
I never bothered telling the spiritual side of my near death experience until maybe a year or two ago. I guess I was afraid that too many would not believe me. Perhaps I feared that my experience wasn’t nearly as real or cool as those who claim to have seen the spirit world or what they felt might have been heaven.
My experience is my experience.
I once told this story to a man who lived a good portion of his life as an Atheist and then became a christian later in life. He told me ” You need to decide for yourself if this was a real enough experience for it to be real. Even if it was a dream there is probably a great significance behind the orbs and rings. Perhaps you should ponder about what those orbs and rings mean and what they could represent in your current life.”
I’ve thought of this for a time. I thought that perhaps the rings are incomplete orbs or light. Perhaps the orbs of light represents the rich and fulfilled things in my life. I suppose the rings were things that I had yet to fulfill as I was only in 5th grade at that point in time. Perhaps if I pondered further I could find other conclusions as to what they could mean.
Until then I am still alive and kicking.
GREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] I’m on good friendly terms with my current Bishop. Personally for me I would just go to him for spiritual advice. He pretty much knows how I believe and many of my thought processes.
I only go and talk to him when I feel the need to. Sometimes he pulls me aside and has the desire to chat for a minute.
In the past I kind of felt like I had a mild form of scrupulosity. Part of this was due to the fact that a previous Bishop wanted to speak to me almost every single week. I did this while also being treated for depression and anxiety.
Looking back now I would say that the anxiety and depression was linked to the scrupulosity. Most of my symptoms went away after I stopped having literal belief in the religious texts.
Realistically speaking to a Bishop weekly made the situation worse not better. It only fed the desire to have a weekly confession. The littlest thing that I might have considered sin in between the confessions caused me great amounts of anxiety. I looked down on myself. I only felt good just a few minutes before the meeting between myself and the bishop was over.
As mentioned only see the Bishop on a necessary basis.
GREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] I think it is in God’s nature to let us figure things our for ourselves. The Kid who get abused and goes to church may have to go through some counseling. If he takes the high road he will move on this his life after the counseling is complete. If he chooses the low road he will wait until he is strong enough to put his abuser in his or her place and then move on.
Christ tells us to turn the other cheek. I have chosen to turn the other fist and hit the abusers cheek. That’s just me though. God allows me to do this because I have the agency to do so.
Life is a journey. My journey is different than your own. My leahona might be pointing in a different direction than yours. Sometimes I don’t even bother looking at where it is pointing and set out my own course. Some will end up in the same place and others won’t.
GREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] SilentDawning wrote:I can, however, confirm that I was on the same end of the revelatory and relationship “stick” as your ex-girlfriend. A girl had waited for me for two years on my mission, having dated me for two years previous to my leaving on a mission. We got along famously.
But I had concerns about her personality and an aspect of her appearance.That describes how I felt, and when I finished the prayer, I knew I had to break up with her. Afterwards, I felt happy and at peace about it, although I missed her at times because she did meet some non-romantic needs.
Did you ever think that perhaps this whole experience was just a self fulfilled prophecy on your part? Psychologically and subconsciously you no longer felt that your personalities could mesh and her physical appearance was no longer good enough for someone with the title of RM.
Granted this was many years ago but did you ever really look back and think that it might have been you wanting to break up with your old girlfriend who took the time to wait for you?
@InquiringMind”>Personally I feel like that is a very lame excuse that is used in religious circles. Your Ex girlfriend is hiding
:angel: behind God and dogma. She didn’t give you a good reason as to why she broke up with you.I had a girlfriend who’s father was very Anti Military. I’ve always kept the military as an option and I’ve always respected the military most especially since I have plenty of cousins, uncles and grandparents who had served in the military.
This girlfriend of mine broke up with me. She claimed that there wasn’t much of a spark and that she prayed about it and felt that I shouldn’t be her boyfriend anymore.
Years later I wrote for my school paper. I interviewed one of the head instructors for a certain department of the school. My Ex girlfriends Father was an assistant to the head instructor. After my article was published in the school newspaper my Ex girlfriend’s dad saw it and read it. He then looked up at the head instructor and said ” This is a very well written article. Oh I remember the young man who wrote this. He dated my daughter once. Had I known he had such talent I wouldn’t have encouraged my daughter to break up with him. I thought for sure he was just going to be one of those overly macho military types.”
LAMEFor Your Information I know this because the head instructor I interviewed let me in on the conversation.
There could be a number of reasons why she chose to end the relationship. One of them could have been that she just didn’t feel ready for a relationship. Maybe she had some growing up to do before she met her current husband.
Sacrament meeting talks and testimony is all about pretending to be humble while still tooting your own horn at the same time. She would love to tell the story of how humble she was to have to break up with a boyfriend only to find Peter
:sick: Perfect.:thumbdown: I wouldn’t worry about trying to find that perfect girl. Just enjoy dating for the sake of dating. It doesn’t have to be a long term relationship. Be open to blind dates. Be open to set ups. Just have fun.
GREEN[/color] “> [/color] [/size] Well I am currently single and have purposefully remained single for the past little bit. There are few girls that I feel I could have a relationship with and others that I would gladly get to know a little better. I’ve had these strong inner feelings that I would not be sticking around my local town.
There is also an inner decision if I really want to stick around in the church or not.
Do I really want to raise a family in the church?
I didn’t always have the greatest experiences within the church. Unfortunately I trusted certain people to be honest in the church and trusted that certain work positions would have been good for me just because the person giving me the application was Mormon. Things happened that I’m not in the mood to talk about right now but maybe later.
I think youth can have good experiences at a Boys and Girls club or YMCA. There might be a slight hint of religion within organizations like this but they aren’t over baring and kids won’t be raised with false trust of Just because someone belongs to an origination doesn’t mean that they are good people.
All these thoughts are in mind and I remain single.
Outside the realm of strict religion going to a strip club or even just a casino with some show girls on stage isn’t a big deal.
I am currently Single so my mind set is that of a single man with plenty of options. I have not committed myself to a woman nor has a woman committed herself to me.
If I was married my situation might be a little different.
I always promised myself that I would not be living in my parent’s house or in-law’s house after marriage. I also wanted a place to call our own.
The military defiantly has some options for married couples.
Again as a single man I have options.
:thumbup: GREEN“> APPLES[/size]
