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I can see it isn’t just me. I think maybe it is a combination of worrying if the topics are going to be painful to me, or if I’m going to get lots of questions about where the rest of my family is, or if I’m going to disagree with what is spoken from the pulpit. I went into it today and tried to be positive, and it actually ended up being a very positive Christ centered meeting. I can listen to the words of Christ and about love, service and charity in complete agreement. I wish those were the topics every week. Dark Jedi, I too used to think it was a refuge. Often it is not, but today it was.
Thanks for your responses.
Thanks for posting this. The book sounds really good. I am really excited about reading wisdom from many different sources. I will have to give this one a look. I am reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now,” and feel like I am learning so much from it. I heard about him from people on Stay LDS. So thanks for those references too, to those who posted about him. To me it also seems like a website created by women, for women primarily, to help us have healthier attitudes towards our bodies. I found it an interesting idea, and was interested in the stories of these women. It seems healthy to be able to look at a regular naked body and be okay with that. It sounds like a liberating event for these women. Having been to a few clothing optional beaches years ago (I did wear swimwear) it was really not a sexual environment. Being okay with our bodies is a good thing IMHO. I didn’t find the pictures to be offensive or inappropriate. That said, not a workplace environment website. I remember my mom, who was from a small town, telling me that growing up in their ward it was totally normal for women to breastfeed during church, and no one made a fuss. I found that surprising, but it is a natural event, and maybe the attitude was a bit healthier in a small country town many years ago.
Quote:I have found this faith crisis/transition very unfair. I really wasn’t a discord creator, I wasn’t a kick against the pricks, or challenge person. My obedience and effort were from a huge hope and trust that I was participating in a plan that had an authentic outcome. I felt horribly betrayed, broadsided, and robbed.
It is so amazing to see how many of us have the same feelings. It seems to me that the more sincere and trusting we are, the harder that makes all of this. I hope that there is a reason out there somewhere, that it is a stepping stone to more growth, because for now it just feels bad to me. And this is just with my husband and I in the loop, with no one else really knowing how we are feeling. There are just so many sides to this faith crisis, and I certainly do have some resentments.
Thanks for the quote. I will try to remember that and try to leave the resentment behind.
In order: Reformed Judaism 100%
Orthodox Judaism 92%
Unitarian 90%
Liberal Quaker 84%
Mormon 84%
Interesting results. Didn’t even know there were Liberal Quakers.
I was living in SLC at the time the ban was lifted. I was so happy. This had been a big problem for me. What thoroughly surprised me was how many people were really upset by the news, and said they would leave the church because of it. I’m not sure if that amounted to a large percentage or not, but it really took me by surprise. This is kind of a sore subject for me, and it became a big source of contention with my kids. My last kid is in seminary. The teacher is a great person but doesn’t relate well to kids, so it isn’t a great atmosphere. My youngest was excited to start, and after one month was begging me to stop. It was tiring, it was a negative environment, they had stomachaches every day, and they lasted all day. I mentioned the BYU requirement, which they didn’t believe, so I let them look it up. My child and I decided they would attend 1/2 time, and they have until high school graduation to make up the days that they miss. I’m hoping the teacher next year will be more in tune with the kids, and it won’t be an issue, but this way they still have their foot in the door in case BYU is where they decide to go. This has helped alleviate the overall tiredness factor, as they aren’t doing it every day.
The most positive aspect of early morning seminary, IMHO, is that they get to spend a little time with their church friends in the morning and all head off to school together. That is a plus as long as they get along with their church peers. It does give them a little sense of camaraderie in that they are all in this early morning club together. The tiredness factor is a huge negative.
I think it is really hard for anyone to really focus and learn much that early in the morning.
Just want to welcome you to the site. I’m fairly new too, but this site has been such a help to me. I hope it is to you too. I know the rollercoaster feeling all too well. I hope you find some answers here. You will definitely find some good people. Angel, Thank you for sharing your trials. I am so sorry you are going through them. Our children can bring us so much joy, and so much pain. As a mother I think we take our childrens’ behavior, good or bad, and feel we are responsible.
It sounds very much like what your son is going through probably has little to do with how you raised him, and mental illness can arise unexpectedly at any time in our lives.
I understand the frustration with God being there to help the car start, or keys be found, but not help you or your son in your time of trial.
I have a friend in the church who has had several children go astray, and one who had serious mental health problems. Hearing voices, paranoia, delusions, etc. He self medicated with alcohol and was a very destructive force in their home. It took years but he finally realized he needed medication. Now he is functioning well on his own. I have had several family members struggle with substance abuse and mental health issues, and I can say that although it took many years, things did get better (with medication, AA, etc.). One returned to church after 35 years of inactivity.
I can only hope something similar will happen for you and your family. Please know that you have support here, and no judgment. Our hearts are with you.
I’m glad you shared that. It is important, I think, to be happy for those who have families that are doing well. Share joy with those who have joy, mourn with those that mourn. On the other hand my family growing up had much turmoil. Divorce, word of wisdom problems, lots of stress, no FHE, but strict church attendance, and I was a tried and true member for all of my growing up years. So go figure. I think there is no real rhyme or reason sometimes, that maybe it does depend a lot on the personality and needs and desires of each individual child. I have tried to be a loving and good mother, and my husband and I have had a happy home with our children. Our first child was a very devoted church member. Our second was somewhat reluctant. Our third is sort of in between. Our first child ended up having SSA, and slowly stopped attending. It was a painful experience for our family. Our second child has stopped attending, and our third child still attends.
We have tried to listen to our children’s concerns and also not force them to attend church, but as a pretty tried and true member I worried about their salvation and our eternal family, and they didn’t really have a choice when they were young. I think my own faith crisis has been made harder because two of my children no longer attend. They don’t know about my current doubts and feelings about church.
I often wonder why my kids, who I tried to encourage but not force, were not the ones who ended up being devoted to the gospel. It is a painful topic for me. I don’t think we can necessarily take credit for or blame for our kids’ decisions. My only thought is that as a liberal minded family perhaps the church just seems “too conservative” for them. (My oldest’s words).
Seminary is a whole other topic, but it definitely became a big source of stress for our family, and there was no help from those in authority when we tried and tried to get them allow home study.
So why do some kids go along with the program, even when they have a parent that is not active, and doesn’t have callings, etc.? I don’t know. Why do some kids leave as soon as they are 18? Is it because the parents may have been too rigid? In some instances, probably. Or maybe it is just rebellion that comes naturally at a certain age, and that doesn’t mean they won’t return.
With my faith crisis my other dilemma is do I want them to be active members, only to eventually suffer the same crisis I now face? Which is less harmful? Would I want them to serve missions when the information they give is only partially correct? Is it crucial for them to attend church when I have the misgivings I have, and church is difficult even for me?
I don’t know. I’d appreciate your thoughts.
