[Harmony]

I feel the same way. Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for this site and for all of you.

[Harmony]

I did have anxiety and depression a number of years ago when many people I knew were battling cancer. I also suffered from anxiety in dealing with very difficult family members. In those instances talking with a counselor helped me immensely, and gave me tools to deal with my issues and with the people who were creating stress. I then went about 10 years not needing my counselor, but this year with stresses regarding church and my children I had to get back to my counselor and talk things out again. My anxiety was over the top. I was projecting way down the road worse case scenarios on about everything dealing with kids and church. The counseling helped again. I have also been taking a mild anti-depressant for several years. That seems to have done the trick for me at this time.

I recommend finding a good counselor if you have anxiety or depression. I also recommend following the WOW, because if I happened to be a drinker, this year could have gotten very ugly for me. It would be very easy for me to want to self medicate when in a high stress situation.

[Harmony]

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As far as our children, I’ve supported and loved them in their choices, both in and out of the church. I will continue to do that. When 2 of them started leaving the church and living a different way, I was devastated at first and felt like a failure. Then I realized how crazy that was. They’re great kids who have found a way that works for them. They both seem as happy as the 2 who are active.

Two of my children are no longer involved in church, and I was also devastated and felt like a failure. I wondered why other people’s children seemed so right on the mark as far as church goes, but not mine, but there are reasons they aren’t going that I have no control over, and I am learning to be accepting of those choices and no longer feel like I have failed them. They are their own people. In fact, they seem happier outside of church. When I felt like our eternal salvation was on the line as a family, previously, it was scary and crushing to me, but I no longer have the same rigid believes about that and am much more at peace. So it seems we have had a few of the same experiences.

Welcome to the group and I look forward to reading more about your experiences.

: ) Harmony

[Harmony]

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But I wonder…

Would legalizing their lifestyle make that any better?

Would “accepting” them make it any better?

To relate this to something else…I am so very glad that the civil rights movement took place. I truly am. But I also see how even now (again, remember that I am in the deep south), those who live around me are still “angry” about their past…and their perceived future…and their present state. It’s like they can’t win.

Actually I think legalizing their lifestyle would, in fact, make things better. And accepting them would make it better.

If we relate this issue to the civil rights movement, I think one reason why some people are still angry about their past, future and present state is that prejudice and discrimination is alive and well. Is has improved over time, but it is still something that is felt very keenly by minorities of many races. It is all around you. It is found in the current restriction of voting rights, racial slurs regarding our president, stop and frisk, etc.

I have good friends who are LGBT, however this is not the main focus of our conversations. I also have a child who is LGBT, and it is not the focus of our conversations. It is a big focus of mine because I love my child and I am worried about the consequences and attitudes she will have to deal with when others find out about her orientation. In church or out of church. It is also a big deal because the suicide rates are much higher for youth who are LGBT. We have lost many wonderful loving children of our Heavenly Father because of our lack of understanding and acceptance.

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I am very concerned that the continued emphasis on a siege mentality surrounding gay issues is harming LGBT people in the church and out of the church, and is preventing us from becoming a Zion people.

Turintumbar, I agree with you that gay marriage/rights are being touted as a major threat to our church/country. In reality, since we are interested in families and strengthening the family, since LGBT couples will be together and have children in many cases anyway, wouldn’t it be good if they could have a marriage situation which would provide more stability in their relationships and wouldn’t that in turn be better for our country? Personally, I feel that if the church wants to attack something that is harming our society I think focusing on reducing pride, selfishness, greed, judgment, etc. would serve it better. Focus on loving one another and following Christs’ example. I think that is one reason why I have a great appreciation for Pope Francis. He seems to be more focused on being a disciple of Christ.

I do think the current dialogue from some of our church authorities is harming our LGBT brothers and sisters and their families. It is very difficult to go and feel a part of church given the current rhetoric.

I know to many who do not have a LGBT family member or close friend it seems like this topic is being overly discussed. But from those in this minority equal rights is a very big deal, akin to the civil rights movement. When you can be fired from your job simply because of your sexual orientation, which is still the case in many states, prejudice towards our LGBT brothers and sisters is a subject that definitely needs to be talked about.

Turintumbar, I have great respect for you and your devotion to the gospel and your desire to remain faithful.

I do take hope in some of the changes that have been taking place and the attitudes of many that are changing for the better. Mormons Building Bridges also seems to be a step in right direction. The many Mormon based groups advocating for the LGBT community is very uplifting. LGBT members need to feel supported and loved, especially if they are to remain in church.

[Harmony]

Dear Brokenfaith:

I feel like I understand very much of what you are feeling. It was a sickening feeling for me, kind of like a death, and I am so glad to have found this site, and the people here who understand what I am going through. I am slowly rebuilding my spiritual life, and trying to learn what I need to do next.

Mom3 said:

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… if your angry, it’s okay. We’ve all been there and have many more days of it to come. It’s part of the awesome growth package you’ve just been handed. You’ll do great. We believe in you.

Please know you are not alone in this. I hope that you can get through this and find out what you can believe and how to stay, if that is what you decide to do. That is what I am trying to do too. I am trying to think of this as a spiritual rebirth, and gain a stronger understanding than what I had before.

[Harmony]

Question Abound says:

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Why is the gospel so hard to find?

I wish I had the answer to that question. I feel much the way you do, and sometimes I wonder why we have to struggle so much to find the right path. This is such a difficult time for me, and all the rules and checklists we are given seem very unimportant most of the time, but then I feel guilty if I don’t feel like I am doing my best at following them. Having more knowledge than I used to is both a burden and a blessing.

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Surely the gospel isn’t as complicated as maybe we make it out to be. Surely He wants us to understand what He has authored and is offering. Since we are missing the mark, how must He feel?

I guess when I was a TBM I had the way laid out for me, and now I feel that doesn’t hold true anymore. Since I disagree with some of the doctrine we are taught I feel like I am going through the motions oftentimes at church, but not being there makes me feel bad also, like I’m being a slacker.

Blehhhhhhhh! None of it feels good right now. And since my kids are involved too, I have that added burden that if I do things wrong I can be affecting their lives forever also. I feel I’m dragging my child to church because it is important, but then I get there and I wonder why I am there.

One positive though is having this website to go to, so I know I’m not alone and that other people are struggling with similar issues. I do find much that is positive here.

[Harmony]

REGARDING THE ARTICLE by Joni Hilton: I found this response from Meridian Magazine posted by John Dehlin.

Posted by John Dehlin

Apparently this article has been (at least temporarily) removed from Meridian Magazine’s web site, so I am re-posting it here for those who still want to read it (Click here for PDF Version with comments, Hat tip to Josh Smith).

*Update* An email response from the Meridian Editorial Team:

“XXX (name withheld here for privacy reasons),

The team in charge of editorial today was not on the top of things and we agree that this article is extremely offensive and it will be taken down.

It has been removed from the homepage and will be completely deleted from the site before long. There may still be a cached copy if you don’t clear your cache, but it will be removed in the next few hours. God loves everyone, regardless of whether they are liberal or conservative. James E. Faust was a liberal Mormon too.

We are embarrassed that it slipped through somehow.”

[Harmony]

That article was so wrong on so many levels. Condescending, judgmental, kinda mean spirited.

The only good thing about that article is the number of people who responded to it that we need a more inclusive church and that her definition was so off base. Very few agreed with her description. I’m thinking about now she is wishing she didn’t write that article at all. Uchtdorf was mentioned many many times in the responses.

[Harmony]

What kinds of things do you really enjoy doing? I’m wondering if you think back to younger days what hobbies or interests you had. Maybe there are things that can feed your soul from other sources besides just church. If you could imagine the way you want to feel and the life you want to have, what would it be?

You don’t need to answer those questions except to yourself. Sometimes it is easy to get mired down in sadness and worry. If you can find outside interests other than church, then church doesn’t need to be the only place to go to try to find comfort and peace and joy.

I’m sorry you are feeling so down. Hang in there. I’m praying for you tonite.

Thanks,

Harmony

[Harmony]

Wow, I’m kind of at a loss then. Other then telling the woman to not answer her door. That is really just harrassment. It is a sure way to drive someone away from the church. And I am not surprised you are left shaking your head. 6 visits in two months is just kinda crazy.

[Harmony]

It is such an awkward thing to have to go and have a “Rescue Misson.” First of all, if someone has been involved in the church for a while they know when they are being “rescued.” I’m sorry your Bishop wouldn’t listen to you that it was awkward last time and realize that you may have insights that he does not have. Maybe a blanket decision was made to go and visit those less active, and instead of paying attention to the individual he is just barreling right ahead with the “plan.”

Do you think the person being visited would have the ability to say that they don’t want a visit right now? It is a tough position for you to be put in. I’m not sure if your Bishop knows how to back off.

Is the Y.W. president someone who might be understanding? If so, maybe you could explain the situation with her and agree to make it a quick visit and get out.

It shouldn’t be about statistics or checking a name off of the list, but about what really benefits the individual. I feel your frustration.

[Harmony]

It is difficult to talk to people who give you one word answers. Kind of annoying too, if you are trying to be friendly and start converstaion. I’d chalk it up to lack of social skills on their part, or preoccupation with themselves, and move on. They can be lonely places to be if people aren’t friendly. I’m glad you got one person who actually spent some time talking with you.

I went to ours last night. I mostly went to see the little kids’ costumes and hand out candy. Then I usually spend time with people that look a little left out, and then visit with the few more liberal people from the ward. That way I feel like I am staying involved, and helping someone else who might feel like the odd person out. The food is a good thing too.

[Harmony]

So funny. I liked:

Dawn of the Dead: Early Morning Seminary

So I Was Sealed to an Ax Murderer

[Harmony]

I like the way you looked at that talk. Inspiring way to think about it. Thanks.

[Harmony]

Thanks for posting this Ann, I liked it too.

[Author]

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