Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Thank you every one for your responces. After reading them this is what i came up with for me. I like the idea of God being very loving and compationate. I like the idea that we are more critical of ourselves and others than God is. I think of His words and they are kind. At the same time i like the idea that we will all be prepared for the final Judgement. I like the idea that we all need time to make things right. There are things that need to be taught still. I want to believe that in Gods own way he will beable to do that with out robibing justice.
Im trying to to learn to be respectful of other peples opiniins more. For a while i couldnt even talk about things. I have found many outside sources to be uplifting and sometimes more helpful than church. I dont know what i will choose in the long run. I cant remember where i red this but it talked about taking things slow. That is what i am trying to do.
As i mentioned before i work with a few LDS members who talk about it about it quite a bit. I hate that they talk about all the new changes coming up. But i guess there is going to be alot of the changes going to happen. I have a teenage daughter who has gone inactive in the church and i have benn inviting her to come with me at times but chooses not too. I respect her for that. I guess it wouldnt hurt to know some of that stuff.
Anyways some weeks i feel like going to church others other weeks i dont.
I really am trying to be respectful of others opinions cause i would want the same for me.
I thought about what i said to my co worker the other day and came up with a better answer if i ever needed it again. I could have said. When she asked if i had heard of any special stake confrence ” not that i know of “. And thats it. I get so tired of feeling guilty for not gioing to church.
Some times its hard because my siblings growing up went inactive as teenages and at the time i couldnt believe they would go inactive at the time. Now i am feeling maybe the way they were. But it feels harder to go inactive because i have been so faithful for so long. I feel sad that i judged them back in the day. Dont want anyone to do that to me. I almost feel like a fool for not learning why my siblimgs left the church and being at leaste less judgemental in my thoughts. Its not like i was rude to them ever. I just didnt under stand why they left and thought they were being rebelious. Thay did get into bad things like drugs and alcohal. But I’m nnot so sure thst is the reason they left the church though. I know they didnt like some of the culture.
Im just sad that I tried so hard my way before with the chuch and that wasnt the amswer to my problems and now its hard to fit in with the inactives becauss i have been known as the active one for so long. Im afraid all those that know me wont acept me as an inactive member and inturn judge me. Its so sad that people do assume that inactivity means they are bad and or rebeliuos. Not the case at all.
Most of the few people i work with are pretty ortadox mormon i woyld say. There is one that isnt so much though and im glad and like what she has to say sometimes. She was telling us all that she took offence to something and didnt as she was telling us i could tell that she was okay with how she felt about the particular thing. Some people in the curch think taking offence is a sin but really its not. Thats how my co worker felt and she made changes because os it. She just knows what she is doing with her life and doesnt let others or the church dictate what she chooses.
Like i said though im trying to tske things slowly For me that is what has been working. I do want to do whats right for me.
I have been thinking about this satan idea. So there was an experience on my mission that involved our whole zone. So we had, what some may say, a sucsesful month during this time. Its been a long time but if i remembee right we had 30 baptisms iin that month. It was an exciting time for our zone. After the month was over i remember getting together as a zone and the zone leaders telling us that the missiin president told us that satain is going to work on us very hard now because he doesnt like that we weee so sucessful. Well we had very few baptisms that next month. I cant remember the mumber but our baptism numbers were about a third of the previous month.
Was that really satan that caused the numbers to be lower. Im thinking there had to be at least other factors. Maybe people just were not as receptive that month. Maybe the sucsessful month was a lot of hard work from previous months. So at the end of that sucsessful month we were all stating over with nothing in our teaching pool. Honestly i can remembeer if that happened in my conpanionship. But im thinking its possible. I dont know if this happened either but maybe missionaries in my zone became prideful and didnt try as hard or maybe they were just tired.
Ive been think about this quite a bit. At this time I’m seeing God in many different situations. Non LDS situations too. I cant and dont feel i will ever get rid of the concept of God. Maybe thats what i have learned. God can be in other situations other than LDS ones. Maybe my belief system before my faith crisis was that Our “LDS” God is the only true God. Because our Church is the only thue church I also thought that any one else that believed in God didnt believe in the right God. So there experiences werent real. Boy i dont believe that know. I have heard too many other people say things about God or religion that are true in my eyes. So maybe since i found things that havent worked for me about the church. Like some of the so called doctrines. I assumed or at least considered God or Jesus wasnt true either.
I dont know if this is comming across the way i want it to. Maybe God and Jesus are avalible decpite what religion a person belongs to. I would hate to think that if i decided to join another religion i would have to change my belifs about God or Jesus.
So i guess my point is its some of the teachings taught in the church that i dont believe in. God or Jesus had or have nothing to do with it. God was never wrong about the teachings i currently believe. It was the church that Got it wrong. Maybe Im saying the people who taught it.
So one day God will make it all right in the church and we will all be on one page finallly.
So God could very likely have answered my prayer but because there were so many peole who have taught me wrong, my prayer took longer to be answered ( God doesnt interfer with agency right). I had to turn to other sourses that God agrees with too to finally get it.
I hope that makes sence.
By the way thanks for sharing your experiences here. It promps me to relize what i believe
Roy with you bringing up fasting there at the end reminded me a of some spiritual experience i have had in the past. I will have to think about that a bit more because these experiences were very powerful to me at the time. I really believed God interviened in an experience and i contributed it to fasting. Boy thats a hard one because im not sure i want to let that go.
So thats it i prayed to God to help me not be shy before and reading my scriptues didnt solve it and like i said the circomstance and the people i was with mad the difference. So how was God involved? Ddd he answer my prayers. It sure took a long to for me to figure this boundry thing out. Really like 20 years. Is that what God does? I do believe God haas involved in my life when i comes to things that are not even church related. I can find him in other things.
For example the boundry thing. I dont know i have ever heard that taught at church. In fact its quit opposite at times But i know its true. But can He help a person be baptized by me fasting. I surely thought that on my mission
So I’m thinking about scripture reading and what it has done and what it has not done for me. It reminds me of the scripture where Nephi tells us to liken the scriptures unto ourselves. Something like that any ways. I took that literally and tried to apply scriptures in my life. As a teenager i was very shy, at least thats what i thought. So i would pray to beable to talk with other people. I did really feel I changed until part way through my mission experience when i gained confidence in what i was doing and when given the opportunity to show my confidence.
So i learned to talk with people. The more i think about it the more i think it had alot to do with getting the opportunity.
Being in a different circamstance would not have given me that chance to grow.
So I guess what i am saying is being with and around people who believed in me, changed me. It wasnt a doctrine that I learned nessasarily
After coming home from my mission I got married after a few years and i could not be that same person. I believe it wasnt because i didnt follow doctrine. It wasnt me nessasarily it was i wasnt in the place for those same opportunities i had on my mission. If that makes sence.
I now try to have boundries around people. And can tell when i need those or not more.
I believe following the doctrine taught at church or read in the scriptures would have never changed that. It was studying elsewhere that helped me discover that being my true self involves boundries.
I just happened to have an easier oppertunity on my mission.
Thats what Im thinking now. Im still trying to figure out how the spiritual part had to do with all that.
As much as that is probanly hard to here sometimes, i agree with holycow when he said some ones past cant predict the future which cant always prevent abuse. I think the two deep leadership is the a good valuable tool that can do a lot more than just doing a backgound check. Doing a backgound check wouldnt be bad but its not going to give the help like two deep leadship would do. Im not sure yet what God thinks should happen to gay people but i do feel strongly that he loves them and sees the good in them. He has to and wants to. No person is bad. How people treat others and our selves i think God cares about.
Just wanted to add that on.
Ibremember reading the scriptues as a fanily lfor ong time hoping that would solve problems in my marriage. It didnt. I remember being told to have meals together and thought rhat would solve them. Boy neither of those solved a thing. And i can understand how reading the sciiptues cant turn some into not being gay. I still believe the acceptance idea of people who are not a part of the church for any reason is the christ like thing to do. So this is what ive been thinking. Maybe during sacrament meeting when the bisop said that it made me think of all the times i followed what i thought of as doctrine. Looking back on my life seeing over the years i see how it didnt fix my problems. As i have mentioned before i went on my missiion and changed. I went from being a shy person to a leader. When i came home and was married a few years later i found myself not able to be the person i came to be on my mission.
So i guess what i am saying is the things my missiion president said and taught changed me while on my mission but in my mariage it didnt work. I had deep rooted believes from my childhood that needed to be work through..
For example i thought my parents’ marriage disnt work out because my mom didnt marry a return missiionary. I really thought that. So i married a return missiinary. I couldnt figiure out why my marriage wasnt the marriage i was taught it would be after marrying a retern missionary Years later i realized i could do all the church things and it still wouldnt change mine or my husbands behavior.
Yea so being kind to your neighbor can make you a kind person. I think that can be true if the persons heart is in the right place. But just by marrying a return missionary doesnt nessasarily mean your marriage will work out and the behaviiors of each are good.
Thanks for the oprions. I think i thought of what will work for me. Church doesnt come up every day at work but as i think about it it probably comes up on average about 3 times per week. Its kind of sad but last years the conversatiion came up. The girl who was becoming active again was still inactive at the time and mentioned how she fellt one day about how athe members treated her. Immidiatly the others asumed this co woeker was taking offence and. encouraged her to come back anyways. This co worker started to cry. Fortunately one girl appologized to her so it was okay. Some things they understand but i get the feeling that at least two of them only see the church as the way to go. I get it. I used to think that too. Ive since talked to this former co worker thats tring to be active again and we see eye to eye on many church related things. I will miss here at work. Anyways thanks again. Im feeling on track again.
