[HSAB]

This was a really interesting quiz! It says my beliefs are 100% liberal Quaker! 93% reformed Judaism, 89% liberal Christian Protestant

[HSAB]

I think this is a great project. In the whole modesty and chastity rhetoric women are socialized to be ashamed of their bodies. These women have show that they are not ‘walking porn’, just women. In all different shapes and sizes. There’s something i find really comforting in what these women are doing.

[HSAB]

Can I ask why you think you are having such a difficult time with this? I married a man who was inactive for several years and has a past. I had never done anything beyond making out with people. But it never bothered me and still doesn’t. If he didn’t go through that time in his life and have those experiences then he wouldn’t be the man that I love. I think that life experience and trials make people more complex and they can really be character building.

[HSAB]

Morality is doing what is right, regardless of what you are told. Obedience is doing what you are told, regardless of what is right.

Love this cwald!

[HSAB]

Hi Maggiemoo! I got married almost a year ago in the temple and before even going through I had major issue with garments. I have never worn them outside of the the temple and I feel completely at peace with my decision. It is liberating-even though I never wore them-to not feel condemned to a fate of feeling bad about yourself everyday. I still worry about what others think of me, and when at church or around my family I wear clothes that look like I could be wearing garments. I really don’t like feeling unauthentic, and I’m hoping to someday have the courage to ‘come out of the closet’ to my family. I have found that more of my friends than I ever would have guessed share my opinion on garments. I would suggest treading lightly on the issue to test the waters of who will be able to relate and who won’t. Just know that you are not alone in this and there are many many others who share your pain.

[HSAB]

I think I would have walked out of that lesson. I have been to relief society twice in the ten months that I’ve been married and both made me cringe-but nothing as bad as this.

I feel like that entire lesson is absolutely ridiculous. Every single thing that was listed is not a gendered trait. Good for you for speaking up! I’m sure there were others in that class who really appreciated it.

It seems like the church is pushing extra hard to keep women in the traditional roles right now-I’m sure it’s to counter all the feminist movements going on.

[HSAB]

Thanks everyone. This website has been so helpful for me over the past year and a half. I am finding more and more of my friends seem to be in the same predicament as I am. The other day I sat down and tallied all of my old room mates that I am still in contact with. Out of 32 people 17 are inactive or have left the church. It seems so crazy…but I never thought l would see the day when I stopped believing either. It makes me wonder how many people are secretly middle way mormons. I really wish everyone could be more open about it.

[HSAB]

I really appreciate that so many of you on here are going through similar things. It’s nice to have people understand.

[HSAB]

Roy wrote:

HSAB wrote:

When I Roy think about what I believe it’s mostly just the basic Christian doctrines.

This is probably a huge tangent but I couldn’t help but notice that my name appears in this sentence. Is “Roy think” being used here as a verb and if it is – what does it mean to “Roy think”?

Ha ha ha!!! To ‘Roy think’ is to think about things in an exceptionally profound way no one understands what I’m talking about when I use it, but I guess they are just not profound enough!

I think it was probably supposed to be really? Auto correct has done worse 😆

[HSAB]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the insights. Martha that sounds like a really hard place to be. My husband probably wants to be mormon someday but he doesn’t really ever feel like going to church or doing anything church related. ( Although we pray together everyday and i love that.) In general that is perfect for where I’m alright now except that I want to make decisions and figure out what I do believe. So I may struggle more with that down he road. It is such a weird place to be. All my good friends are very open minded, inactive or no longer mormon. I get used to having open discussions and then I go to church and say something about feminism and every one freaks out.

[HSAB]

Thanks everyone for the thoughts and advice It is nice yo know that a lot of you have been through similar things/had similar feelings.

On Own Now wrote:

HSAB, It sounds like there was a time in your life when you where a little more comfortable being you. I don’t know how, but I suspect that if you tried to tap into that element of your earlier life that you might be able to give yourself some good advice. In other words, what would the old you say to the current you about feeling content about living life your own way?

That is a great question/observation. I had overcome (or become much better) about my body issues by putting on whatever made me feel comfortable and good about my body. I never felt bad about it even if it was a tank top because I didn’t feel like I was breaking any real rules. Now I feel like I am breaking those rules even though I don’t believe in those rules. The old me would have told myself that I need to do what I feel good about and that God loves me for who I am. I would have also said that I shouldn’t care what people think. Lol, these are all things the current me is telling myself too…It’s just much harder to put into practice.

I feel good/fine/relieved about choosing not going to the temple. It is a stressful and unhappy place for me now anyway. I only care about ever going again because I love my family, but I think I can support them in other ways. It is crazy how much anxiety I feel about garments. Even trying to think about Ray’s suggestion about wearing them some day in the distant future maybe just fills me with anxiety. It feels like a cage, like someone would be stepping on my freedom of self expression, my body image and my adventurous spirit all at once. I swear I am fairly normal aside from all of this. It’s still crazy to me how much all of this affects me. My husband said it’s like I’m closeted and need to come out to my family. That is how it feels. maybe I will try and tell my dad first. He is the most open minded person in my family.

[HSAB]

In my experience a lot of people between mid twenties and mid thirties seem to leave for historical reasons and loss of faith. I have quite a few friends who partied in their early twenties then came back only to leave again once they found out more if the history. I also have quite a few friends who are young moms and really worried about raising their kids in something that they don’t fully believe in.

[HSAB]

Actually, no one gave him money to go. That’s not the way it works where I am at least. Everyone sins. Everyone does not receive public humiliation. My brother is a young kid, and it’s very possible that he didn’t think what he did was wrong until he was surrounded by missionaries and started to feel like maybe he wasn’t good enough Ke he should have rented for something. I have heard that in a situation like that people can get pretty hard on themselves. He does not owe anyone in my home ward an apology, except maybe my parents, but quite frankly it is none of anyone else’s business.

[HSAB]

Thanks you guys! I hope he will be ok, and I hope he can confide in me. Luckily we have a really understanding dad, but I worry about my mom feeling like she did something wrong and that affecting him too. My poor mom feels like a failure about it:(

[HSAB]

I struggle with 9am church! 😆

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