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Thanks everyone for all the kind feedback! I really appreciate it. A few of my friends are also encouraging me to post this somewhere public so they can link it. If I do I’ll let you know. Sailaway, are the items that you disagree with opinion, or is there anything I am mistaken about in the history. I would love to know if I made any mistakes on this-especially if I end up posting it somewhere public. CWald, I appreciate you trying to understand. I am curious, if you changed the word woman in my letter to black man would that make it easier to understand? I am trying to find a way to best help men understand and relate to this. I’ve found that the role reversals don’t seem to help too much. At least for the people I have showed them to. I may have posted about this in here already, but during the movie Lincoln, I couldn’t help but think about all these issues that have been brought up in this feed. At one point in a debate someone says, ‘we cannot make equal what God has made unequal.’ There have been too many times that I have heard that as an excuse for racism, sexism, and other inequality in history-but even worse IN OUR CHURCH. If we don’t do something about it, if we don’t question, push the issue and make a ruckus, things will never change. All of us are capable of receiving to revelation and all of us have the light of Christ. If something feels wrong in my heart and mind, it would be a sin not to do everything in my power to change it. That said, in that same movie Abraham Lincoln tells one of the more radical racial activists that the only way to make changes and get things done is to take baby steps. While I don’t want to wait for things to shift a little at a time, I think that is the only way to get things done in a big organization.
I would love for our church accept homosexuality, give women the priesthood, give women access to all leadership positions, admit that the prophets are fallible, make single people able to hold high church callings, abolish garment wearing, change some of the things in the temple ordinances, ECT ECT. If I sent that list in to church headquarters they would laugh and throw it away. Pretty sure they wouldn’t even pray about it. So instead, I post things on my Facebook, I talk to people one at a time about the issues that I am adamant about, I forward interesting articles to friends and spread the knowledge and information as much as I can on a small scale. That is all I know how to do to make a difference, but from my observation that IS what makes the difference. When the church headquarters start feeling the shift in views of the membership that is when changes are made. Whether you believe that it is the church following societal changes or whether you believe that it is divine revelation, the revelation comes only after the movement from the people.
Brian-I absolutely LOVED those ruins! I’ve been to three in that area. Which ones are you going to? I did not go on a Mormon tour when I was there, but I actually think that would have been very interesting. I’ve studied quite a bit about the geographical history of the bom (had an atheist ex who REALLY wanted to prove me wrong.) and I honestly think there is enough evidence there to support at least the possibility of the Mayan culture tying in with the Bom characters. I read the article and I actually loved it. I would be hesitant to share this with any TBM however because it rocks the very core of their belief. My mom for example, would definitely shut down if I gave this to her to read. I don’t know your wife, but I think maybe starting smaller scale and easing into it might be better…sort of the way we do when we convert people 
This thread is the first I’ve heard about this change in the wording. I don’t think we can call it a lie without knowing the intentions, but if it was written into our doctrine and claimed to be a direct revelation from God by Joseph Smith-wouldn’t that actually make it a false prophesy? Since we’re getting technical here. I think all that proves is that we do believe our prophets are fallible-even when they claim to be speaking fo God. So it is our responsibility to get our own witnesses of the truthfulness of what they are telling us. I’ve found that many more of the people I’ve shared my doubts with have a lot of the same doubts. My husband and I were talking about it the other day, wondering if it was just our generation or if it was the availability of info or both. We have a lot of older single/divorced friends and it seems like the only ones who we’ve talked to who haven’t had similar doubts are the ones who got married young, stayed married and ‘haven’t ever thought about those things before.’ Thanks! I can see the correlation from D&C 61 to the Mormon folklore that the devil owns the water. Swimming in g’s would be WAY more revealing than in a bikini! 😆 I just read the whole thread from where I left off. I would like to mention that you can definitely see when people are wearing garments regardless of their modesty. At church you can see through men’s shirts and you can almost always see women’s garment tops. I watch people at church and I notice that I can see all of it. I only watch because I’m not wearing them. I have had a few breakdowns trying to get ready for church and not being able to find anything that someone couldn’t question. It has made church even more difficult than it has already been lately. Dax and Ann-what were you referring to when you said two votes made the difference? I would like to read that but I’m unsure where to find it.
I’m considering going to my next temple recommend interview and when they ask about garments, saying I don’t wear them, but I consider myself worthy. Maybe that’s worth a try for a few of you, if you don’t have anything to lose. It’s my understanding that the TR interview is just supposed to be something that makes us reflect on our personal worthiness and not a checklist.
Thanks for your comments everyone. Forgotten charity, it’s good to know there are others who feel the same way! Thanks for all the support! I think I may have placed too much emphasis on the part of the sexism that I’ve kind of come to terms with already and not enough on what I’m struggling with right now. As far as working or not working goes, I don’t really care what people think anymore and my husband and I are on the same page. I still get very frustrated with how much it is assumed that all women will be domestic, but that isn’t deeply threatening to my faith. It just pisses me off. What is deeply threatening, (saddening?) but I only touched lightly on because I don’t really know if it crosses a line, is what seems to me to be a disconnect from women and God in the temple. I just will never believe in that, and that is how I currently view the temple. Since that is the core of our religion, I’m worried about how I can come to terms with it…if I can.
Heber, didn’t you say that your wife is a feminist? How does she deal with that part of it? I have a feminist friend who told me that she felt like it was more sweet, like the man was protecting the woman. I was hoping I would feel that interpretation, but I haven’t.
And also, I hate that men have to wear white shirts. I would encourage my husband to wear different colors, but he doesn’t like to go against the grain like I do. This is a really interesting thread. The true definition of feminism is equality, not women hating men or trying to make men become more feminine or women to become more masculine. What initially made me a feminist is that I personally don’t fit the stereotype of what society views women should be. I’ve always believed that it’s unfair that men don’t get to spend more time with their children in the ‘man goes to work/woman stays home’ business model. (I didn’t know what else to call that.) I have always thought that it is unfair that men are sometimes judged by others because they choose more artistic careers. I see that those things are unfair and I want change for that as well. If an artist man and a woman lawyer get married, it probably makes more sense for the man to stay home, and if the roles are reversed then it makes more sense for the woman to stay home. This is a personal question, but SamBee, it seems like you might be struggling because you are super masculine, but maybe artistic and you can’t seem to find where you fit in our current society? I could be totally off, but I would be able to relate to that quite well.
I have to agree with Dax on the fact that I don’t think women are to blame for men in society becoming more ‘feminine.’ In the church I think it’s because we are taught to be humble, quiet and reverent to show that we are spiritual. (I wish we could shout praises-that would be awesome.) I actually think a big part of it outside of the church is that we are transitioning from a physical society to a cerebral society. We don’t fist fight, we sue. We don’t build furniture, we order it. You only learn the skills you need. I do see it changing for the better on both side though, at least outside of the church. I work in a field where people mostly expect to see men, I am a super feminine and young looking woman. It has gotten significantly better in the 6 years that I have been with my company. I do live in a fairly progressive place, so I may be ahead of what some others are experiencing.
