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Thanks guys. I have thought about the inspiration in the situation being either the yes or todays no-but either way it is not helpful. I told him that therapy would not work in just one session, but I don’t know that he understands it enough. I don’t believe it’s mentally healthy for me to wear them, but I also don’t believe that Heavenly Father wouldn’t want me to be sealed to my husband because I have body image issues. Right now we are deciding between either not going at all or going and having me lie to everyone. Heavenly Father, me and my future husband are the only ones who can really determine whether this is right or wrong. I have been so depressed today, and laid in bed thinking and crying for the last six hours. I thought that if Nephi had consulted with his bishop on whether or not her should kill laban, he would have told him of course not! Not that I think I am like Nephi, I just don’t believe that Heavenly Father is so black and white. The stake president told me that this is the first time he or the temple president have heard of this problem, and they want to figure out a way to handle it in the future. I will gladly be the person to help them with that…it’s just that I only have nine days to figure this out. SO SOOOOO SOOO stressful!!! and heartbreaking

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I wanted to post some positive things on here too. The meeting I had with my stake president was so inspired, and literally made the decision for me to go through the temple. Still terrified, but I just love that Heavenly Father answered my prayers and like Ray said, it is so nice to have the go ahead from someone I view as an authority.

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Thank you for all the posts! It is always great to hear that I’m not alone in this. I have so many friends who struggle with it, but at times I worry that it is just because we are all a similar “type” of woman. Hawkgirl, I am so sorry to hear your experience was bad too. Dax, how long aho did you go through the temple? I literally am planning to go and not wear them. I go through the temple tomorrow. I’m slightly terrified and have had a few anxiety attacks about it in the last few days. I’m more scared for what will come after I go through. The debating,’ do I put on my usual thick strapped tank top to go grocery shopping? Will people see me around and start judging me? Do I change my facebook to make it more “private” so people don’t see me in pictures not wearing my garments?’

That’s just one more issue to add to the pile of my problems with garments-it is something that everyone can see. If you don’t pay your tithing, drink a coffee, or even have an affair, it is far less obvious than not wearing your garments. My fiance doesn’t wear his top most of the time and it’s nbd for a man, because no one can even tell.

Also, Dax, my stake president was shocked when I told him that women had to put on at least three layers of clothing when they wore garments! He had no idea that you couldn’t buy ready to wear clothes that just covered the womens garments.

I really have such a strong opinion against them for so many reasons. One more thing is sex. I am a 29 year old virgin, who has been extremely ‘chaste’ my whole life, and now when I can finally live with my love, I have to wear gross underwear that I feel bad in around him? I know you can wear lingerie when you want to have sex or feel sexy or whatever, but that means that it would always be the woman initiating, otherwise she will be in her garments. I think that is a sad thing. I also think it’s sad that the time your (Dax’s) husband gives her extra attention is when she comes home from the gym. Not a slam on him, but in a normal world that would be when you look the least sexy, not the most sexy.

I know this has turned into a rant, but I feel so strongly that we could achieve the symbolism that the garments are meant to give us without having to making so many of the women in our church feel terrible. I just don’t believe it has to be like this.

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So many great comments on this thread! I really am impressed with how loving and open mined everyone has been. I would like to add one simple comment though.

Shawn, thank you for sharing your thoughts and your experiences with us-I hope it is helpful to you and others reading this thread. You mentioned that you had been struggling for a long while with concerns about the church, but then received a witness that gave you peace. If you had not received that witness, you might still be struggling, correct? I just want to mention that because there are people on this site who may not have been granted that peace yet, and are still searching for it. Just like you studied and searched before you came to find that peace, they are going through their own spiritual journey right now.

For some of us, it doesn’t happen all at once. I personally have always been one to focus on one or two concerns at a time until I find peace with them, and receive some sort of testimony about them.

I hope I don’t offend you when I say this, but it seems like you may be expecting everyone to feel the same peace you feel because of your revelation. I wonder if Heavenly Father gave you those questions/concerns and this overwhelming peace so that you could understand when others are questioning – not expect others not to question.

Just a thought. I know that in my life the Lord gives me trials so that I can better understand, love and help those around me.

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I would have to agree with Ray on the accepting consensual adults of homo, hetero, polygamous or polyandrous…it does seem like if you’re going to accept one, you would have to accept the other. BUT only in the case of consensual adults. The problem that I have with polygamy (well I guess one of many) is that these women were told that they were instructed of God-by a prophet-to do these things. Maybe some of them would’ve chose this for themselves, but I highly doubt it. People will do almost anything if they truly believe that God has instructed them to do so.

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Bc_pg, that is so clearly unclear 🙂 Church doctrine defined as current, but ever changing doctrine that might be considered crazy in thirty years. (I just learned about the Adam-God theory…really crazy to me.) Thank goodness for personal revelation!

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CWald, my understanding of what Baldzach is trying to say is that there has always been a law of chastity, there has always been an atoning savior, ect. I think he means that the existence of those things hasn’t changed, even though the practice of some of them frequently changes.

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Hahaha! I love that idea SilentDawning! That would be hilarious! :lolno:

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Thanks, I appreciate the feedback. My friend and I had been discussing it because there are so many things that we do as a church, and we have no idea where they came from or if they’re necessary. I like the idea of living by what I believe to be truth. My bishop just called someone into his office for not wearing a white shirt, and then told the elders quorum president he could no longer wear colorful socks. That’s what started this discussion. I just don’t know where people even come up with some of this stuff!

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When I was 13, I sewed this really cute top that I wanted to wear to church. I had one white skirt that went with it, but unfortunately my mom shrunk it. She said it wasn’t too short, so I wore it to church anyway. After church I got called into the bishops office and he gave me a lecture on not dressing slutty to “try and impress boys” and insinuated that I had been fooling around. I was very upset (and had only innocently kissed one boy in my life) but I came to the conclusion that we are all just human, and that maybe that calling was for him to grow and that it wasn’t my right to judge him either. That rationale has helped me a lot into adulthood…although I definitely am not perfect at it!

[HSAB]

Brian, my best friend also proposed that same idea…she was slightly serious and wanted to do it for herself not me. I think that could be quite painful. Lol, I love that more person than one has thought about this! I had another discussion with my fiance about going to the temple or not at all, I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m just so scared of being judged and/or not being considered “worthy” by my church leaders if I don’t wear them. I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that I don’t believe they are necessary for me(Although they can be a great symbol for some people) and that they would do more harm than good in my life. I just wish I wasn’t so scared and so worried about making my mom sad and my sisters judging me.

On a positive note, this issue has led to some amazing discussions with my fiance and I’m so happy that I’m marrying such an open minded and understanding man. So glad none of my anxiety is about whether he is the right choice for me!

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I appreciate the comments on here. I don’t think that this information will make much difference in what I decide to do or not, but my way of figuring things out has always been to do as much research as possible, weigh all my logical and emotional factors and pray about it. Plus, I am just curious now. I’m kind of an information junkie. Lol

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Welcome! I am fairly new to this site also, but it has been amazing for me so far. I am so glad I came on here!

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Thanks, I really like that.

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So, this is going to be somewhat of a rant. I have my good days and my bad with this issue I just talked to yet another friend who struggles with feeling bad about her body in garments. She’s had them for two years. She never had an eating disorder, just body image issues, and she wears them, she just feels bad about her body everyday. It’s so hard for me to see the other side of not feeling fat and bad about your body in garments. It’s also difficult for me to see how a loving Heavenly Father could require something that makes us feel this way. It doesn’t fit my concept of who he is. I also don’t think it’s ok that mens garments are just like mens underwear and the womens garments are nothing like womens underwear. I really don’t believe in the concept of garments in general, but it’s hard to say for sure since I have no idea what the symbols mean. Maybe I’ll have a really strong belief in the symbols once I go through…I just really don’t believe that they have to be what they are.

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