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That would be awesome, being able to go straight to the celestial room not having to do the endowments. Isolation scares me though. How confident are you that thy will let me go straight to the celestial room? Btw where do I find the instructions regarding paying tithing directly to the HQ? They are not getting a dime from men for the time being until I’m finally self sustaining and can pay my bulls, I may reconsider at one point in the future when I have an ” increase”. I stumbled across this blog and it helped a lot. I do not know If you guys saw this but here it is just in case. http://puremormonism.blogspot.com/2012/12/are-we-paying-too-much-tithing.html You guys are so helpful, thank you! Indeed, I agree. We need to look past the ” RM” title and such. I got pressured into marriage when I was 19, I barely returned to church.
Long story short, I tried to walk out on my wedding day but i got to the temple later than scheduled and they rushed me to the bridal room and I cried very hard. My dad knew what was wrong and tried to talk to me but they didnt let him and rushed me to the bridal room. I told my cousin I shouldn’t marry him and the temple worker came and took me straight to the sealing room. We skipped the veil. By the point I’m in the sealing room with his family, friends ( most of my family doesn’t have TR) staring at me. I was a emotional wreck. I wish I was stronger enough to get away from the temple workers and run out of the temple. I was undiagnosed with bipolar disorder and got diagnosed many years later, so that helped shed a light on this ordeal. Anyway, I got a divorce before my first anniversary to make things right again.
I remember going to church for weeks and I came home crying every single week because of how I was treated because of my choice to get a divorce. My mother could not understand why I kept going.
:wtf: I suppose I kept going because I wanted to prove to God that I’m not a horrible person because I had to break the temple covanent I made. I don’t know. The irony thing is, I don’t regret my decision to get a divorce. Not even a bit. It was the most difficult and the best decision I have ever made.
The bottom line is, I don’t look for Superficial qualities in a man like us typical lds girls has been taught ( must be a returned missionary, temple worthy, etc). I’m already looked down by other people because of my past and that’s not something I would do to anyone else. Ever. If you guys have ever been to the singles ward, you see how girls can be um, for the lack of better term, um Aggressive.
:crazy: I’m grateful for every one of you who took the time to welcome me!
Apparently I’m still picking up the pieces when my faith scrattered and shedding the beliefs that causes me more heartache than good. But what is the truth? Who knows?
I think it’s important not to ignore a strong prompting. I didn’t grow up in the church. When I died from cardiac arrest and was brought back, I had a strong prompting to want something more than what I had in my life, hence I investigated the church. I have best friends who are gay and lesbian. They knows about my feeling and they respect my choices, even if they don’t agree with me. They are awesome people. My lesbian friend just found the love of her life and is moving in a few weeks and I’m so excited for her. I hope one day to have one of these ” I just know” experience when you meet the love of your life.
Back to topic, I don’t think you should be too worried about what other people thinks of you. We live in a great diversity society ( beside Utah lol) and we have came to the point we are very accepting of others.
I can relate about being too old to be a single in LDS culture. It is not easy but don’t let that get in the way of what is right for you.
I wish I wore pants on wear your pants day….
I’m bipolar with SAD. I can empathize. It is a hard work to make myself so things I don’t want to do. It is a constant battle with yourself and at times I fail anyway. Religion crisis doesn’t help either. I just moved here from Utah and it gets lonely around here too. Hang in there. I’m so relieved to find that there are people who feels the same as I do. When I go to the temple, I fall asleep and when it would be time to do you know what! The person sitting next to me would wake me up and do my part them i go back to sleep. I like the idea of eternality and all. At the same time, I don’t understand the weirdness and the big deal with symbolism. Especially when people won’t tell you and tells you that you have to figure it out. Thanks guys for the welcome. I agree. UnfoetunTely, my bishop tells me my disability checks is still considered as my income and he has the “power” to determine my temple worthiness. It’s hard when someone else hold the power to determine your ” worthiness”. I hope polygramy is not the way of life in eternality or heaven would not be heaven. I already strugglrnwithnthe idea that I’m still sealed to a guy I was pressured to marry almost a decade ago because it is for my “salvation’s sake”. I could have gotten my marriage annuled but it cost so much more than a divorce and i was very young and poor. It make me so frustrating because it makes things so much harder if I do get engaged to the love of my life and I would have to go through the process and hoping I can get my sealing cancelled in time to get sealed in the temple. Men can seal to more than one wives. I don’t know why the church practices this if polygramy is no longer the ” doctrine”
