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Oh man! Every part of my body went tense reading this. I had a similar situation a few years ago with a couple serving in primary. We were actually fostering a family member at the time who was 3, and had been previously groomed and abused. I had made very clear requests with the primary, no gifts(not even candy) and absolutely no hugging or sitting on laps. Everyone was very accommodating, except this couple. I would walk by primary and see her sitting on their laps and they asked her to call them mom and dad. I spoke to them about it, and they told me it was her fault because she was so affectionate. Then the gifts started coming, every Sunday they had a gift for her.
Every time I brought it up with someone in primary or the bishopric they were afraid of offending them. So I took the gifts they had given her and went to their house and returned them. I explained to them that they can be a type of grooming and given her past it was inappropriate.
The only thing they ever asked me was how I knew she had been previously abused, and how that person got caught. I told them that wasn’t really any of their business and left. The next week I got called in to talk to the bishop because they had complained about me. I had no proof, but I did have a major gut reaction to them. Anyway, long story, but it comes down to this. Did I offend them? Yes. Was that my intention? No. Did the whole ward gossip about it? Yes. Would I do it again? In a heart beat, no questions asked, I got the feeling for a reason and whether i was right or not, she was safe, and that was my job.
Sorry to ramble, I guess my point is, yes it is a difficult situation, but if you feel something is off, keep your kids away. Literally nothing else matters except your children and protecting them.
Interesting, I have not done much reading about the Church of Christ. That line of thinking seems to fit most with what my mom was saying. I have to admit the idea did certainly appeal to my logical brain, I mean what better way to keep what I like while being able to disregard what I don’t? Lol, now if only my heart and my brain would get on the same page I’d be in business! I appreciate the input, it had been too difficult to research without coming across so many things that were so negative, and I try to tread lightly since my faith hangs by a thread some days. Interesting, I have always had a totally different understanding of this last purge. I guess I always imagined it being more a purge of people’s hearts. D&C 112:23 talks about the gross darkness of the mind, and later it talks about those who claim to know him and use his name but are corrupt. I always understood it to be a much more personal purging of the hearts. In that way to me it seems more difficult to show genuine love to others, just because you want to. After all no one will likely know, and you won’t get “credit” for it. The only reason to do it would be because you desire to do so. No one will really know if you are studying at home, and it becomes much more difficult to do those things if they can’t be seen of men, unless your heart is truly in it. Verse 24 is all about the desolation of the earth and weeping and lamentation. It’s pretty dooms dayish. But I do feel like I see this all around, or political climate, sexual and domestic abuse running rampant. When it talks about the purging beginning in the lord’s house and from there it will begin, I always thought of the lord’s house as being anywhere that people were trying to follow christ, not specifically lds, I have no idea where I got this from, but I just assumed that it would just be difficult to follow what you believe to be right in the face of all the darkness and opposition in the world, and whether you give in or stick to your own morals WAS the purge. Keep in mind I have absolutely no backing to this, and could be completely wrong, just my thoughts.
Thank you all for saying hello, Sometimes, one good example can overcome an entire ward of bad or indifferent examples. You used the word
Quote:did
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Am I reading too much in your statement?
No, Minyan Man, you are not reading too much into this. My oldest brother passed away about 5 years ago. How he lived his life and his passing are hugely significant to why and what I love about the church and being a member of it. You are right that his example has carried me through some pretty difficult times with being a member. This forum I’d probably the closest thing I have found to being to call him up and say ” hey, what would you do in this situation. . ” so for that I thank all of you.
Not a joke per se but I found it funny. Actual conversation with my 5 yr old 5yr old: mom, when is jesus coming?
Me: I don’t know, honey
5yr old: does the prophet know?
Me: no, but it shouldn’t matter we should always try to be kind. . ( kid tunes out)
5yr old: well, we should probably just Google it, that would be easier.
I’m not sure how much this will help because I think a lot of good advice has been given already that I agree with. I’m sharing though because I think this something that my husband does so much better than me. We have a son entering his teen years, he spends a lot of time online. As far as I know he doesn’t look at porn and has no interest. That being said, my husband takes every opportunity to talk to him about it, but he always approaches it from ” when I was young I struggled with x,y, and z” . For some reason hearing about his father’s flaws and imperfections from his own mouth always seems to give my son a sense of confidence and perspective. I think we have a tendency to try to hide our past mistakes and struggles from our children, when in reality it may be just what they need to hear, from someone that loves them. I have just observed the immense love and respect my son has for his dad’s advice and opinions, knowing that his dad is willing to be open with him, just as we hope he will be open with us. I love the different perspectives on this thread. For myself, I love words, they have great power so I like to look up their origins. The origin of the word perfect, actually means complete. In this sense, I can see that Jesus was perfect in that he completed the atonement. It also gives me hope when I read “be ye therefore perfect” I cannot be “perfect” by today’s definition. I CAN, be complete, and I CAN complete the tasks given me. Such as caring for my children, supporting my husband, being a friend to those I love. In this sense, for me at least, the idea of being perfect is not stressful, but empowering. It also helps me see how flawed leaders may actually be the right person to accomplish a certain thing at a certain time, flawed though they may be.
