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Hi, Yes, it is so hard when you can’t find the answer you are seeking. especially when its so specific. If you could get a yes or no it would be so much easier!
I have found in my experience that I can no longer seek confirmation of truth. I have to strictly go on what makes me feel calm and peaceful. I have spent many hrs and days agonizing on “truthfulness” and “knowing if a specific sect is true”. I would read different books and opinions only to find myself angrier and more stressed out. I have had spiritual experiences within the church but not necessarily because the church is true or not true. I think when we are at peace we are more suseptible to spirital experiences and notice the miracles and promptings around us. I love so much about the church and resist much of it. I went through much turmoil internally and ended up feeling it was right for me and my family to stay within the church. I have decided that I would no longer require myself to claim that the church was true or false. I will just enjoy my particiapation and focus on the basics. Such as family unity, praying and loving others. I will no longer judge my testimony against my husbands or the girls I am sitting next to in relief society.
You are an amazing person and be sure to give yourself credit for all the things you do.
Thank you so much for comments made. I have struggled for many years with the literal belief that the church is the only “true church”. I am struggling to find my place within the church without believing all the doctrine. I chose to read some church history and it caused great stress and sadness within me. I shared my feelings of anger with my husband. At that point I felt like leaving the church. My question is can I enjoy the good aspects of the church without having a true “testimony” that it’s the only “true church”? These feeling of contradiction stir within me. My intention is not to be deceitful or dishonest. Any insight would be appreciated.
