[Joni]

It drives me CRAZY that my husband has the luxury of putting his head in the sand and pretending that this inequality doesn’t exist. I don’t know if he just doesn’t listen in the temple to the stuff that’s not aimed directly at him, or what. Because whenever I mention that the temple places women in subjugation to men, he will say, well, here’s a General Conference quote from Elder So -and-so which says that husbands and wives are equal partners. I’m sorry, but that is NOT WHAT IT SAYS IN THE TEMPLE! And if our church’s teachings inside the temple contradict what we say outside the temple, I’m going to assume that what actually counts, what is eternally binding, is the stuff that we actually covenanted to.

Which gets back to my original question: WHY don’t we talk about it honestly and openly? Why do our leaders continue to beat the drum of ‘equal partnership’ when they KNOW full well that our highest form of worship contradicts that?

It probably sounds cynical, but I assume they say ‘equal partners’ when outsiders are listening. Imagine if President Nelson got up in the Women’s Session of conference and said “now women, remember that you are under covenant to hearken to your husbands,” and then spent the next fifteen minutes talking about what that means. It would be totally truthful and a lot of people would probably find it helpful. And it would be a PR nightmare for the church. Nobody would want to get baptized; at least, no women.

Instead, the (mostly male) church leaders get to have their cake and eat it too. They get to insist that the Church sees men and women as equal, knowing full well that it doesn’t – and since they are the only ones with power to change it, nothing gets changed. The problem is that the Church gets to save face, but at what cost? Do the feelings of the thousands of women who feel unloved or less loved by God constitute acceptable collateral?

I’ve been thinking about how Carol Lynn Pearson describes the threat of polygamy as driving a wedge between loving husbands and wives. (Haven’t read her book yet – I’ve gotta get through RSR.) I’ve finally come to understand that the grossly sexist ‘hearken’ covenant (and other problematic elements, such as women veiling their faces) is doing the same in my marriage.

[Joni]

I am a flute player, and I’ve had sex, and let me tell you, they are NOTHING alike. 😆

[Joni]

I try to keep in mind that politics is all opinion; therefore, a person disagreeing with me is not ‘wrong.’ And I know Trump supporters who are lovely people, and Clinton supporters who are judgmental and racist, and everything in between.

I’m definitely having to take a break from the Bloggernacle until things calm down a little. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded that I don’t REALLY belong in the heterodox Mormon community, since I am not a Democrat.

(And for what it’s worth – I voted for a candidate who had no chance of winning, so I was going to be disappointed no matter what.)

[Joni]

This is good news. I’m very pleased with these changes but I’m still not sure I want my daughters attending BYU. (Frankly, with an acceptance rate of 47% and falling, I don’t think I’ll have to worry about it.)

My husband is both fully TBM and a BYU alum (I am neither) and I was really surprised to find out that he was in favor of honor code amnesty pretty much from the moment the story broke. So it’s not just people who read the Bloggernacle who were in favor of this change.

Question: does this policy affect all the BYU campuses, or only Provo?

[Joni]

Renlund quoting C. S. Lewis made me realize we haven’t had a CSL quote in conference for ages!

[Joni]

I would love to hear a talk about Faith Crisis from someone who has experienced one.

(For what it’s worth – I don’t refer to my experience as a ‘crisis.’ It may seem like one from the outside, but it’s not.)

[Joni]

I’m not really comfortable with Ballard’s repeated “where will you go?” Um, any other Christian church? We’re not the only ones who believe in Jesus. I suppose a certain amount of Mormon exceptionalism is inevitable when you reach the Q12.

[Joni]

Let’s see if they sing the top secret fourth verse of I Am A Child Of God

ETA: nope, they didn’t. I wish more people knew about the fourth verse.

[Joni]

I love the hymn On This Day Of Joy And Gladness.

I hate that I see General Conference music breaks as ‘sing along with the choir’ time and my family sees it as ‘ask Mom eight million questions’ time. I guess I should just give up :crazy:

[Joni]

I like that Holland is acknowledging that 100% home teaching is just flat out not possible in a lot of wards. It’s not like it was in the days when everyone lived in Utah.

[Joni]

I don’t particularly care for the song Ye Elders Of Israel (the lyrics are too us-vs-them for my taste) but that was an absolutely rousing rendition. Loved it.

Now they are singing ‘Love At Home’ – another song I hate but I love that it’s being sung by an all male choir. My husband even commented on it – this song is usually associated with women and sung on Mother’s Day. Family love is just as much for men as it is for women!

[Joni]

I’ve actually prayed and fasted several times to have missionary experiences, and didn’t have any. I’ve honestly made my peace with it. I think it’s just not one of my spiritual gifts.

[Joni]

One other fact about Mary Rollins (thanks, Wikipedia): she lived longer than any of Joseph Smith’s other wives, dying at the age of 95 in 1913. It blows my mind that Joseph Smith’s last widow died a year before World War I began! I don’t know if that’s interesting to anyone else, but it is to me.

[Joni]

It’s all good. I’ll try harder to remember to use the emojis when I’m trying (however badly) to be funny.

[Joni]

Old Timer wrote:

Joni, as gently as I can say this, we ought not make people “offenders for a word”.

There is plenty to cause some concern. Not including the sealed portion in that talk s not one of them.

It was an attempt at humor. Sorry. I’ll see myself out.

[Author]

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