[JustMe]

Same problem here.

[JustMe]

Thanks everyone…excellent idea to rotate meetings and delegate!! That will help a ton.

Thoreau – yep, clerk before.

[JustMe]

You guys are awesome. I really appreciate your support here. Thanks for lending your time and responding to this.

I decided I am going to accept whatever calling is extended. I have pondered this over the weekend and even more considering your feedback here.

I have to add to this story some experiences I have had. When I first was in the thick of my crisis, I was in the bishopric, and was having an incredibly hard time. I had not, and still have not, confided in anyone about my faith transition. I was always asked to bare testimony and share spiritual thoughts without any notice – which before the crisis would have been no problem, but when sitting in bishopric meeting or in other meetings it became very hard for me…I just was not feeling it. I was in a dark place and really struggling. I felt like the spirit had abandoned me and I just could not for the life of me share a spiritual experience…I felt like I was so far away from the spirit, and so different than others in the ward. This went on for a couple years. Over the summer, we relocated to an area with a much smaller church population, and an even smaller active one. We visited the new ward, even before we moved here, while looking around at houses. The first time I attended Sac. Mtg here, I had a very special experience. I felt the Spirit for the first time in many, many months. I felt a very strong, very personal message – almost a tangible voice, that this is where I needed to be. That the Lord had something here for me to do, and this would be a major part in me becoming whole again. I don’t think I will ever be the same as I was…the RM TBM, black and white view on things…but I feel that I am meant to be here and to serve, and this will help me get to the next stage in my faith transition. Does that make sense? I feel like this ward is smaller, and it is a place where I can make a difference and can come to terms with my faith…and serve others! This is so important to me… Anyhow – for this reason, I moved my family across the country and settled here. No change in job, just a feeling that we needed to move. We are here now, for the past few months, and now things are starting to happen that are meant to be. Financially this has been a huge cost…but I feel strongly that this is where I need to be…and over time the financial issue will work itself out.

Anyhow – remembering back to a few months ago when I had this spiritual experience, makes me even more so want to accept. I think this is something the Lord has for me – and will help me along my path. I am not planning to disclose to anyone my personal struggle, I can walk the line, and I am starting to feel the spirit again.

I’ll let you know how this works out, I appreciate your support here so much. I am sure I’ll have more questions…like how to bare an unorthodox testimony, without tipping everyone off to how you are just a bit different

[JustMe]

I have recently served as the ward clerk (released a little over a year ago), and sat on disciplinary councils, had access to and even updated the annotations on membership records…there is no spot to indicate SSA – never saw this nor have been instructed to do so.

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