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This brings up an interesting dichotomy for me. I’ve never tried marijuana and never wanted to. Same with alcohol and cigarettes. I think all these substances are highly damaging social problems, and at best, a serious waste of time and money. That being said, I don’t think they should be illegal. For one thing, I see alcohol as being much worse for people than marijuana. We tried prohibition and it didn’t work because, ultimately we are a democracy, and people want their booze. We’ve tried prohibition of marijuana and it hasn’t worked either. Yes, the prohibition is still in effect, but what good is it doing? Pretty much everyone in my ultra-conservative, Utah Valley High School had ready access to marijuana. Making pot illegal is not stopping its use much, but it is just making criminals of a huge part of society. Sending people to jail for smoking pot is much more damaging than smoking pot, in my opinion.
So, that’s enough ranting. To sum up: I don’t believe in using marijuana, but I support others’ right to make that decision for themselves. Not everything bad should be illegal.
I read this book recently, and it was one of the last straws for me in deciding I didn’t believe in the church anymore. (I’ve since recanted that and am now trying to stay in the church, though it is still an ongoing struggle). For me, it wasn’t necessarily the overly sensational and gruesome story, which I found emotionally disturbing. For me, it was the simple fact that people could talk themselves into anything. Basically, the crux is this: how is my religious experience any more or less valid than the Lafferty’s (which I see as horribly sick and wrong)? Why should I trust my own ‘burning in the bosom’ experiences that tell me the LDS church is good/true, if other people have similar experiences that tell them something different or completely opposite?
That’s what I got out of the book, anyway. Did anyone else have any similar response? And, since this site is devoted to staying LDS, can you help me answer my questions positively?
Kinderhook08, Welcome. I can definitely relate to the not enjoying church anymore, attitude. As a natural skeptic, I find myself focusing on everything people say in church and looking for what is wrong with it. However, I’ve found this attitude to be unhelpful. I find that if I try to focus on the good things that are said in church, I can come away with something good most of the time. For me, after allowing myself to question all the beliefs that I grew up holding so strongly, and not finding any satisfactory answers anywhere, I decided that if I wanted to stay LDS (which is why I’m involved here), I needed to try to let go of the problems I see with the church’s doctrine & practices, and focus on the good things that can be had at church, like giving service and teaching basic, good Christian principles of charity and love. I’m well aware that you don’t get these kind of things in every sacrament meeting or lesson in the church, but I find that looking for the good, rather than the bad, helps me get along.
Thank you for the link, Orson, and for your words of advice. I had heard that stages of marriage analogy before, but it seems to speak even more to me, now. I see myself perhaps in the third stage with the church and with my actual marriage. Much food for thought. Thanks, again. And thanks to everyone else who has welcomed me here and offered support.
Thanks, SallyM I really appreciate your reply. It does sound like you’ve gone through much of the same things, from the other side. I sound a lot like your husband in that I don’t like sharing my doubts, so I keep everything bottled up inside. It is putting a huge strain on the relationship with my wife and I’m not sure what to do to make things better. When I was considering leaving the church, I thought my wife would accept me no matter what, but after I broke the news to her, she was suddenly talking about divorce and saying she never would have married me had she known the outcome. I thought I was more to her than just a ticket to the celestial kingdom. Now, I feel that distance growing between us, as you say you experienced, too. My feelings about the church are like a wedge between us, now. On some level, I resent her for not allowing me to honestly pursue what I feel is true, and I’m sure she resents me for changing the agreement we made when we got married. I would definitely appreciate any advice you have on how to get through this successfully.
